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McKenzie Hawkins: 'I was done' -From sitting in the stands to steering the USA
By Philip Bendon reporting from London
When McKenzie Hawkins sat in the stands at the 2021 Rugby World Cup in New Zealand, she felt as though she was watching her dream slip away.
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Selected in the USA Eagles squad but never stepping onto the field, Hawkins describes the experience as “a fever dream, being in my biggest dream, but not fully living it.” While her teammates ran out under the lights, she was left with nothing but a knot in her stomach and the sense that her journey with rugby might be over.
“I actually thought I was done,” Hawkins says. “I’d said going into that World Cup that afterwards I’d retire. I walked away from rugby and threw myself into my PhD. But then I realised I missed it, the game, the balance it gave me, the joy of it. That’s when I decided to go all in and give it another shot.”
That decision has reshaped not only her career but also the trajectory of USA Rugby as it heads into the 2025 World Cup in England.
Hawkins’ absence on the field in 2021 could have broken her. Instead, it hardened her resolve. “I learnt more about myself in those few weeks than I had in years before,” she says.
“It taught me what being a good team-mate really means. Even when you’re not playing, you still have to contribute. But I also remember vividly sitting in the stands, cheering, yet wishing I were out there for just 10 minutes. That’s stuck with me ever since.”
It is that memory, of being on the outside looking in, that fuels Hawkins today. Now the Eagles’ first-choice fly-half, she carries both the tactical reins and the emotional heartbeat of the squad.
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Kate Zackary, USA captain and long-time teammate, has spoken glowingly about Hawkins’ evolution, from an overlooked understudy to a commanding leader. “She’s become a driving force,” Zackary told RugbyPass recently. “She motivates others, she runs the game, and she’s embraced the responsibility.”
Hawkins acknowledges the shift. “As a 10, I realised I need the people around me to make the attack work. And rugby teams are driven by passion. You can have the best skills in the world, but without that fire, you won’t succeed. Helping spark that passion in my teammates actually helps me play my best too.”
For Hawkins, balancing rugby with her other life as a PhD student in atmospheric physics is more than just a juggling act. It is a source of strength. “Discipline and resilience are the two biggest things that show up in both rugby and academics,” she explains.
“They’re both stressful in different ways, but they complement each other. When I’m at rugby, I’m problem-solving under pressure. Then I go back to school and think, if I can play in front of 40,000 people, this presentation is nothing. And vice versa. When I’ve done a gruelling academic presentation, it makes me feel ready for the small battles on the field.”
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Her research, focusing on the complexities of atmospheric physics, might sound a world away from the turf of an international rugby pitch. But for Hawkins, the parallels are clear. Both demand precision, patience and the ability to adapt under pressure.
She admits, though, that the professionalisation of USA Rugby has been key in giving her the space to pursue both. Discussing the behind-the-scenes support that has been put in place for the World Cip, Hawkins was full of praise for the support structures that have been put in place for the squad.
“It’s huge,” Hawkins says. “It meant I could take time off from school and focus solely on rugby. Otherwise, I’d be juggling two full-time jobs, which isn’t sustainable at this level.”
That stability has allowed her to focus on sharpening one of her most important weapons, her goal-kicking. “For me, it’s the one thing I can fully control in the game. The ball isn’t moving; the posts aren’t moving. It takes me back to being a kid and finding joy in that. On good days, it’s all about getting into the right headspace. It’s mental more than physical.”
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Of course, Hawkins is not carrying the burden alone. The Eagles’ backline has rarely looked more settled or dangerous, with powerhouse centre Ilona Maher bringing both stardom and steel.
“She’s actually my roommate,” Hawkins laughs. “At first, I thought, wow, this is crazy, she’s so famous. People come up to her everywhere. But in camp, she’s just another teammate, and when it’s time to train, she’s as serious and focused as anyone. She’s stepped into a new role in helping the attack flow, and her voice has become more important. It’s been awesome to see.”
Surrounded by the likes of Maher and Alev Kelter, Hawkins knows she has weapons to unleash. “It’s a dream pairing of centres outside me. They always give us go-forward, and defensively I know I’m surrounded by amazing players. Sometimes I think, ‘Wow, I can’t believe I’m playing next to them.’”
All of this builds towards a monumental challenge, opening the Rugby World Cup against England, the tournament favourites, at Sunderland’s Stadium of Light. More than 40,000 tickets have already been sold for the fixture, promising one of the biggest crowds ever to watch the Eagles.
“It’s such an incredible opportunity,” Hawkins says. “We’ve been talking about how we can turn this into something we’re really proud of. We know England are the heavy favourites, but we want to harness that underdog energy.
“Even if the crowd isn’t on our side, we can use that atmosphere. Not many players will get to experience a World Cup opener in front of that many people. It’s special.”
USA head coach Sione Fukofuka has kept the message clear: be physical, explosive and decisive. Hawkins relishes the clarity. “I feel aligned with him on our attack plans. It’s reassuring to know we’re on the same page, so I never feel like I’m guessing. That lets me just focus on driving the team.”
So, what would success look like for McKenzie Hawkins, come the end of this World Cup?
“I’d be proud if my team-mates could say I gave everything I had, every time,” she says. “At the last World Cup, I learnt that putting the team first is the best way to be a good team-mate. If people walk away knowing I did absolutely everything to help us, that’s success.”
It is a fitting answer for a player who has already lived both the heartbreak and the rebirth of an international career. From the stands of 2021 to the spotlight of Sunderland in 2025, Hawkins’ journey is a testament to resilience, balance and belief.
She is no longer the understudy. She is the conductor, leading the Eagles onto the biggest stage of their lives.
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