Laura Delgado column: 'As a team leader, I don’t have any problem admitting my insecurities'

Today I would like to share something new. I want to talk about how demanding we are with ourselves. Mainly, how demanding we are with what is invisible to the naked eye. Let me try to make sense out of it.

World Cups aren’t only about having fun, enjoying and celebrating the sport from the players’ perspective. They are also deeply demanding moments of our lives, as your mind and body have to be at the top of their game, day in, day out. It isn’t easy.

While some can look at it as the pinnacle of a player’s journey, the honest truth is that it isn’t. We can’t relax or work/train as we did until this point; we have to go even harder. That demand and pressure can lead to insecurities. This is something that hits players from all levels.

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It bottles up. It doesn’t matter if you are the captain, an experienced player, a youngster, or the superstar of the team. Those thoughts will, at some point, pop up and pop out.

So, what can we do about it? Talk and share. In the Spanish national team, we share. I’ve been around for a long time, and my experience has allowed me to learn how to deal with those insecurities. For me, it is vital to speak about it and hear out my teammates, especially the youngest members of the squad.

We are teammates, not enemies. We are a family, not a group of individuals. It has been key for us to feel comfortable speaking about those insecurities. To accept these feelings are normal. To be honest about them.

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And, as a team leader, I don’t have any problems admitting my insecurities, that I have doubts, that, sometimes, I am not fine.

I didn’t start our last game against Ireland, but I was tremendously happy for Gemma Silva. I wanted to be on the first team, but my initial reaction was to express my happiness for her.

Every single one of us acknowledges our strengths and weaknesses. Yes, it is horrible to find out what our flaws are, but unless we are willing to face them, we won’t have the chance to work on them.

We don’t have to be afraid of that dark corner of our being. If we step into it and embrace what’s in there, we become better players, athletes and people. We become stronger.

In my opinion, human beings are inherently negative. Saying ‘no’ comes more naturally than saying ‘yes’, and a smile often only pops out when something good happens.

Insecurities are real. We are fighting for a place in the 32, 23 and in the starting team, but not as enemies, as teammates. I don’t have to be envious and feel hostile towards someone who is starting ahead of me.

Una Leona no compite contra otra Leona.

A lioness doesn’t fight against another lioness. We are members of the same pride. We walk, work, play, celebrate and mourn together.

We are here for each other. We are open about our insecurities, about what troubles us. I feel deeply connected to my teammates because I can share with them. To be able to feel vulnerable around them, because they will help me.

That’s why they matter so much to me. That’s why being here means everything to me. That’s why I think we are special.

Vulnerabilities don’t make you less professional or a weaker athlete. It is quite the opposite. For example, on the eve of matchday, we were able to join our families, friends and fans. We share smiles, stories, laughter and emotions with them. We are vulnerable there. But does it mean that we are not as strong as any other team?

I’ve already shared this in the past column, but I can’t stop smiling when we arrive at the stadium. I have no problem showing my emotions.

How could I, or any of the 32 selected players, not be happy to enjoy that? How can we look into the eyes of those who weren’t called for the World Cup and claim we aren’t enjoying ourselves? That we aren’t happy because of our fears.

The road to the World Cup was long, painful, and hard, testing every single one of us. That’s why sharing our insecurities, talking and recognising what exists in our dark corners, and sharing our thoughts makes us stronger.

So many teammates left us along the way, and we have to be stronger for them. It was their dream too, and unfortunately, they aren’t here to experience it.

They have been there for us, literally, as they were in the stands in our two past games. Even if it pains them to see us in their place, they travelled to be here, to support us and back us up. Everyone wants to play in a World Cup, and although they weren’t able to be selected, they want us to win games, they want us to perform at our best level.

We are a pride. We are more than a team; we are a family. For better or worse, we are here for each other.

Talking and sharing about my insecurities made me better. It made me feel even more like a lioness.

The World Cup is a wonderful thing. It is a wonderful journey of self-discovery. It is a chance to be a better friend, teammate and player.