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It was a taboo. It wasn't a case of just going, 'I'm not alright, I need some help mentally'. Now we have the confidence to say, 'No, I'm not alright'
Every Gallagher Premiership club needs players like Tom Lindsay. The Bristol hooker might not have played all that much this season – he made just a single start in the 22-match league campaign – but he was always ready, waiting in the wings if ever there was an emergency call.
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It’s the type of attitude borne from his considerable experience. The former England Saxons forward is 31 now and has had an on-the-move existence since leaving Wasps in summer 2015 following a lengthy tour of duty there at the club that gave him his first break in the pro ranks.
Gloucester, London Scottish, Saracens, Bedford were destinations where he wore the shirt before arriving into Bristol in 2018 and becoming part of a squad he is throwing everything into despite the on-going lack of match exposure.
His enthusiasm hasn’t gone unnoticed. Pat Lam will have him back on board next season and Lindsay knows if he sticks at it, that all-elusive break he desires could suddenly come.
It’s why there will be no slacking on his part and his determination to succeed can only rub off well on the youngsters making their baby-stepping way in the rugby world at the Bears, who rounded off their 2018/19 campaign this weekend with a win over Newcastle for a ninth-place finish.
So happy to make my first @BristolBears start yesterday against @SaintsRugby in the @premrugby Cup. Lots of positives to take from the game, plenty to work on though. #premrugbycup #ontothenext #meatpie #COYB pic.twitter.com/BHixfB5oyh
— Tom Lindsay (@TomLindsay2) October 28, 2018
“To be honest, when I got here I did everything I could,” explained Lindsay to RugbyPass about the battle he fought for fleeting match-day recognition this term. “I trained as hard as I can and when I have played I got good feedback on what I have got to work on.
“I’ve had a few niggles here and there and Harry Thacker, fair play to him, he is playing outstandingly this year, one of the best players in the team.
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“I just get opportunities when I get them, I relish them and every time I am on the pitch in training or in a match I just go as hard as I can. You can’t wallow and feel bad about yourself if you’re not selected. You have to get back on the horse, get back training and wait for your next opportunity. There is no point getting down on yourself and that is something I have learned over time.
“The biggest thing is once you get knocked down it’s about picking yourself up. You don’t need to be an international, you don’t need to have a huge amount of talent. If you get knocked down, be on the pitch or mentally, having the tools and support around you to keep picking yourself up is so important.
“You become more resilient as a player and you become closer to your team around you. On the pitch, off the pitch, you can get through anything that you need to if you have the support of your family, your normal family and your family at work as well.”
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Lindsay’s mental fortitude to roll with the punches is an important message given the dialogue around rugby players keeping themselves on the straight and narrow. The constant macho facade of old is giving way to a more caring sport, one where it’s becoming okay to share your feelings.
That’s an openness that can only have positive long-term consequences. Look at the warm reaction to this week’s RPA mental health awareness campaign and the Gallagher Insurance Project Restart initiative which Lindsay was involved with, running around with children at Ashton Gate who wouldn’t normally have any access or interest in rugby.
"I feel a stronger person now having spoken about it." – @duncanbell3. ?
For more #LiftTheWeight advice & resources click here ? https://t.co/5gSBUEmCAU …#ForOurPlayers #MHAW19 pic.twitter.com/JStkz7zpe7
— The RPA (@theRPA) May 14, 2019
“This is an initiative to get Asian, Black and other minority groups involved in rugby, disabled men and women, young people, just give them an insight into what rugby his about,” enthused Lindsay.
“We’re not going to get much of a look in at schools because rugby is not a major sport at some schools, but this is just a great way to get them involved. It’s proven that being involved sports – especially rugby I believe as it increased my confidence – helps improve your confidence, gets you out on a pitch, so it’s a great initiative by Gallagher to help the grassroots.
We had a great day at the @BristolBears #ProjectRugby event at @ashtongatestadium yesterday. Our local Gallagher teammates had a brilliant time #volunteering, getting stuck into the session, alongside special appearances from #GallagherPrem stars @JakeChunkz and @TomLindsay2? pic.twitter.com/RlBhQSTqeA
— Gallagher UK (@GallagherUK) May 1, 2019
“Being able to play rugby as a child is one of the best team sports you can play and getting it into state schools and social clubs who can give it a go, the more people who play the more fun they are going to have.
“It’s just so important. When I was younger, on the mental health side if I had what I had now rugby would be a lot easier for me. The mental health side they do way more awareness. It less taboo now. People have to talk about it and it’s helping out a lot of people.
“A lot of people now have the confidence to come forward and say, ‘Actually, I’m not okay’ and that is alright. It’s a really good initiative by Gallagher to promote this and going forward children become more resilient because they have experienced things when they were younger and have the help to be able to deal with the problems they had.
“Definitely in my Wasps career when I was really younger, about 18, 19, 20, definitely,” continued Lindsay when asked if there was a period when he could have done with some assistance.
“It was just dealing with poor performance, how to build up more resilience, it’s dealing with injury, dealing with how you get feedback. I’m not saying it was anything bad or anything, it’s just being able to help yourself, not over-think things, become more resilient personally, have tools to get through anxious moments on the pitch and off the pitch.
“It was more of a taboo back then. It wasn’t a case of just going, ‘I’m not alright, I need some help mentally’. Now we have been given the confidence the last three, four, five years to say, ‘No, I’m not alright’. There are people in place to help you out and obviously the Premiership and the RPA have got behind that with Restart Rugby and this Project Rugby is definitely going to help out as well, especially from a young age.”
Great supporting @premrugby and @BristolBearsCF with #projectrugby in conjunction with @AJGCORPORATE pic.twitter.com/U4VQBsr4Tm
— Tom Lindsay (@TomLindsay2) April 30, 2019
Now the wrong side of 30, Lindsay knows the clock is ticking in his playing career but he is demonstrating maturity by starting to prepare for an alternative career once the boots are hung up. He believes rugby has a very promising future, despite its ongoing revenue-generating concerns, and he would like to stay involved.
“I have been in the game a long time and it has been getting bigger and bigger. At the Olympics we got sevens and leagues are sprouting up all over the world now. America’s league is going very well…
“There has been cash strains the last few years (in England), but with its infrastructure the Premiership is becoming a far more attractive corporation and we’re going to get more backers. Give it a few more years. Social media is absolutely massive, the Premiership is getting bigger and bigger and so is rugby as a sport. We are definitely going in the right direction.
“I have seen so many great players have to retire over the years I have been playing and you have just got to remember every day you walk into that club that it could be your last day so you have got to make the most of it.
Massive thank you to @TomLindsay2 for taking time out of his busy @BristolBears training schedule to deliver a great session on handling, identifying & attacking space to the @colstonsschool U12 & U13 Sevens players.#togetherwerise #magnificentsevens pic.twitter.com/lNoKc551Pz
— Colston's School (@colstonsschool) January 30, 2019
“That is doing everything you can to make sure you get on that pitch to stay fit, stay healthy, mentally and physically. Once you’re out of this bubble of rugby it’s quite a lonely place, so it’s making sure you have got the right tools for life after rugby while enjoying yourself when you are in the environment as well because it’s such a blessing and an honour to be involved in professional rugby be it Championship, Premiership or internationally. You have just got to make sure you don’t take it for granted.
Good insight to the half-back battle with Ian Madigan and also Pat Lam's unifying qualities https://t.co/RWZ2itPvKK
— liam heagney (@heagneyl) April 26, 2019
“I’m focusing on coaching. I’m coaching schools, not just rugby. I’m doing everything I can with schools in order to become a director of rugby, so I’m doing my coaching badges, I’ve done first aid, I’m doing a mental health course as well so I can be a mental health advisor in school or in a coaching environment. I’m doing a lot. I’m working with the Bristol community as well.
“A day like this [Project Rugby] I relish, I could meet schools, meet other coaches as well to pick their brain… sometimes kids will ask you how much do you earn, who is the biggest person you have played against, who is the longest in the shower – you get all different types of questions.”
WATCH: What unfolded when RugbyPass went behind the scenes at a Bristol Bears pre-season
Comments on RugbyPass
Super rugby is struggling but that has little to do with sabbaticals. 1. Too many teams from Aust and NZ - should be 3 and 4 respectively, add in 2 from Japan, 1 possibly 2 from Argentina. 2. Inconsistent and poor refereeing, admittedly not restricted to Super rugby. Only one team was reffed at the breakdown in Reds v H’Landers match. Scrum penalty awarded in Canes v Drua when No 8 had the ball in the open with little defence nearby - ideal opportunity to play advantage. Coming back to Reds match - same scrum situation but ref played advantage - Landers made 10 yards and were penalised at the breakdown when the ref should have returned to scrum penalty. 3. Marketing is weak and losing ground to AFL and NRL. Playing 2 days compared with 4. 4. Scheduling is unattractive to family attendance. Have any franchises heard of Sundays 2pm?
7 Go to commentsAbsolutely..all they need is a chance in yhe playoffs and I bet all the other teams will be nervous…THEY KNOW HOW TO WIN IM THE PLAYOFFS..
2 Go to commentsI really hope he comes back and helps out with some coaching.
1 Go to commentsI think we are all just hoping that the Olympic 7s doesn’t suffer the same sad fate as the last RWC with the officials ruining the spectacle.
1 Go to commentsPersonally, I’ve lost the will to even be bothered about the RFU, the structure, the participants. It’s all a sham. I now simply enjoy getting a group of friends together to go and watch a few games a year in different locations (including Europe, the championship, etc). I feel extremely sorry for the real fans of these clubs who are constantly ignored by the RFU and other administrators. I feel especially sorry for the fans of clubs in the Championship who have had considerable central funding stripped away and are then expected to just take whatever the RFU put to them. Its all a sham, especially if the failed clubs are allowed to return.
9 Go to commentsI’m guessing Carl Hayman would have preferred to have stayed in NZ with benefit of hindsight. Up north there is the expectation to play twice as many games with far less ‘player management’ protocols that Paul is now criticising. Less playing through concussions means longer, healthier, careers. Carter used as the eg here by Paul, his sabbatical allowed him to play until age 37. OK its not an exact science but there is far more expectations on players who sign for Top 14 or Engl Prem clubs to get value for the huge salaries. NZR get alot wrong but keeping their best players in NZ rugby is not one of them. SA clubs are virtually devoid of their top players now, no thanks. They cant threaten the big teams in the Champions Cup, the squads have little depth. Cant see Canes/Chiefs struggling. Super has been great this year, fantastic high skill matches. Drua a fantastic addition and Jaguares will add another quality team eventually. Aus teams performing strongly and no doubt will benefit with the incentive of a Lions tour and a home RWC. Let Jordie enjoy his time with Leinster, it will allow the opportunity for another player to emerge at Canes in his absence.
7 Go to commentsLove that man, his way to despise angry little men is so funny ! 😂
4 Go to comments“South African franchises would be powerhouses if we had all our overseas based players back in situ. We would have the same unbeatable aura the Toulouses, Leinsters or Saracens of this world have had over the last decade or so.” Proof that Jake white does not understand the economics of the game in SA. Players earning abroad are not going to simply come back and represent the bulls. But they might if they have a springbok contract.
22 Go to commentsA lot of fans just joined in for the fun of it! We all admire O'Gara and what he has done for La Rochelle
4 Go to commentsThe RFU will find a way to mess this up as usual. My bet is there will be no promotion into the the Premiership, only relegation into National League One. Hopefully they won’t parachute failed clubs into the league at the expense of clubs who have battled for promotion.
9 Go to commentsWell that’s the contracts for RG and Jordie bought and paid for. Now, what are the chances we can persuade Antoine to hop over with all the extra dosh we’ll have from living at the Aviva & Croke next season…??? 🤑🤑🤑
14 Go to commentsWow, that’s incredible. Great for rugby.
14 Go to commentsYou probably read that parling is going to coach the wallaby lineout but if not before now you have.
14 Go to commentsIf someone like Leo Cullen was in O’Gara’s place I don’t hear Boo-ing. It’s not just that La Rochelle has hurt Leinster and O’Gara is their Irish boss. It’s the needle that he brings and the pantomime activity before the game around pretending that Munster were supporting LaRochelle just because O’Gara is from Cork. That’s dividing Irish provinces just to get an advantage for his French Team. He can F*ck right off with that. BOOOOO! (but not while someone is lying injured)
4 Go to commentsDid the highlanders party too hard before the game? They were the pits.
1 Go to commentsWhat a player! Not long until he’s in the England side, surely?
5 Go to commentsHe seems to have the same aura as Marcus Smith - by which I mean he’s consistently judged as if he’s several years younger than he actually is. Mngomezulu has played 24 times for the Stormers. When Pollard was his age he had played 24 times for South Africa! He has more time to develop, but he has also had time to do some developing already, and he hasn’t demonstrated nearly as much talent in that time as one would expect. If he is a generational talent, then it must be a pretty poor generation.
6 Go to commentsThe greatest Springbok coach of all time is entirely on the money. Rassie and Jacques have given the south african public a great few years, but the success of the springbok selection policy will need to be judged in light of what comes next. The poor condition that the provincial system is currently in doesn’t bode well for the next few years of international rugby, and the insane 2026 schedule that the Boks have lined up could also really harm both provincial and international consistency.
22 Go to commentsJake White is a brilliant coach and a master in the press. This is another masterclass in media relations and PR but its also a very narrow view with arguments that dont always hold water. White wants his team to win, he wants the best players in SA and wants his team competitive. You however have to face up to the reality of a poor exchange rate and big clubs with big budgets. SA Rugby cant compete and unless it can find more money SA players will keep leaving regardless of Springbok eligibility and this happened in 2015 - 2017. Also rugby is not cricket. Cricket has 3 formats and T20 cricket is where the money is at. When it comes to club vs country the IPL is king but that wont happen because the international calendar does not clash with the club calendar in rugby. So the argument about rugby going down the same path as cricket is really a non-starter
22 Go to commentsNZ rugby seem not to have learnt anything from professional rugby. Super rugby was dying and SA left before they died with the competition. SA rugby did a u turn on their approach to international players playing overseas and such players are now selected for Bok teams. As much as each country would love to retain their players playing in local competitions, this is the way the world is evolving my friends. Move with it or stay 20 years behind the times. One more thing. NZ rugby hierarchy think they are the big cheese. Take a more humble approach guys. You do not seem to have your players best interests at heart.
7 Go to comments