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Starting for the USA: 'It's okay to take a moment to be proud of yourself'
By Tess Feury
After watching our opening Pacific Four Series game against Canada from the stands, being named in the starting team to play Australia is a special selection for me.
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I haven’t started a game since August, and I’ve been number 23 for the past few games, and then last week I wasn’t selected. I focused on making myself proud at training and not worrying about what Sione or anyone else was thinking.
Sione likes to foster an environment where you can earn a selection spot at training, which is something I really appreciate. As someone who wasn’t selected for the last game, it was good motivation to know that if I trained well, I had a shot at being selected.
He’ll give you a phone call if you’re not selected the night before. If you don’t get a phone call, you know you’re in the 23, but you won’t know what number. The next morning, we go into a team meeting and they put it on a big screen, one number at a time, with your picture.
I had a really good two weeks of training and finally felt like myself again, playing the style I know I can play. I didn’t get a phone call on Monday night, and I thought, okay, this is good. I’ll be honest, though, I thought I’d get a bench spot.
As he was naming people, I spotted he’d changed some things around, and I thought I might have a chance of starting.
He said my name for number 15, and everybody cheered really loud, which made me feel so special – I think everyone knows how hard I’ve worked over the past few weeks after not being selected. It was a really special moment for me to earn that starting jersey back after half a year.
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At this level, you have to be comfortable knowing you did your best, and that you deserve a shirt, but maybe somebody else won’t think that.
I know I was deserving of a shirt, but I had to be comfortable in my own skin, and that’s what made me train so well and keep doing my thing. To work so hard and be rewarded for your work is an amazing feeling, and I’m very proud of myself.
Rugby is a team sport through and through, and I pride myself on being a good teammate before anything, but at the same time, I’m learning you have to be a little selfish to accomplish your goals.
It’s okay to take a moment to be proud of yourself and how hard you’ve worked. You can take your moment to do that and then put the team first. That’s an area where I’ve grown a lot on this tour.
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Being on the sidelines for a game is one of the toughest things you can do, especially if you’re there because of non-selection.
The reality is, though, you need the entire squad to prepare the starting team. When you’re watching, you do maybe get those feelings of doubt, thinking that you could have something better or differently, but I remind myself that if the team win, I win.
I want to be involved in this squad in whatever capacity they’ll have me, whether I’m the 30th player or in the starting XV; this team means so much to me. That’s helped ground me, and helps me get through those tough days.
Even though I wasn’t part of the game day 23 in Kansas City, it was incredible to be part of such a memorable day, not just because as a team we played well, but it was such a historic game.
The moment when Alev Kelter got her intercept try – I’ve never heard a crowd erupt like that. It was really interesting being in the stands and hearing all of the comments from spectators, around 70% of them had never been to a rugby game before, and it was fun seeing how they reacted in different moments.
Most of them stayed after the game to get autographs and pictures. I’m still getting messages on Instagram from fans who met me in the crowd and were inspired, we definitely grew our fan base.
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It was one of the closest scorelines we’ve had against Canada for a while. It was the performance we needed to put some belief and confidence into the squad, the most passionate I’ve seen us play. It set the tone after a tough game the week before.
We made similar errors, but mentally we had so much more grit and passion, something that we’d been searching for and hadn’t shown in an international game. It was that belief that helped us perform at that level. It gave us confidence that we can’t just hang with the number two team in the world – we can compete with them.
Kate Zackary scoring that first try was such an iconic moment in the history of USA women’s rugby. That is a try that this team will remember for a long time; Kate’s our captain, it was her hometown game, and she scored our first try in such a historic match – I got chills watching it.
Afterwards, I was interacting with the crowd, and every person was so eager to meet us, and experiencing that with a record home crowd was a very special moment in my career.
After our first game, we set off to travel to Australia for the next round of PAC 4. We took three flights and a bus to get here, totalling 30 hours of travel, including an 18-hour flight from Dallas to Sydney.
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I sat next to Rachel Ehrecke on the flight, and we were really lucky, I had the window, she had the aisle, and there was no one in the middle, so we had room to stretch out. Rachel brought a foot massager on tour, and initially we thought she was ridiculous and we made fun of her…but it was life changing!
We used it in the airport, and then also managed to plug it in on the aeroplane and used it while we were flying, and I swear that helped so much. Everybody wanted a turn in the end, and we’ll be so upset if she doesn’t keep bringing it on every tour.
We’re currently staying at the Australian Institute of Sport, and it’s been a cool experience and an amazing facility. One highlight has been seeing the kangaroos, which have been hanging out around the campus and are such a novelty to us.
Kangaroos haven’t been the only animals we’ve encountered while we’ve been here; we also had a really exciting day where we went to the zoo. They hosted some of our team and some of the Brumbies men’s players. We’re playing in a double header with their game, so it was great to spend time with them ahead of playing in their home stadium. It’s always enjoyable meeting other rugby players from around the world.
The first animal they showed us at the zoo was a giant python. It was massive, and we got to pet it and take pictures. I don’t like snakes, but this snake’s name was Pickles, and she was actually pretty cool. I think she might’ve changed my perception of snakes for the better!
They needed someone to go and do a news interview, and not say hi to the snake, and Alivia Leatherman, who does not like doing media, rapidly volunteered herself for the media rather than seeing the snake, which was very funny.
I also got to feed a kangaroo and an emu, which were unique encounters, as well as seeing other native Australian animals.
I also got to go to a rugby league game for the first time, which was an amazing experience. I must admit, I had to look up the rules, and we all had a lot of questions, but it was sold out with 24,000 people in the stadium we’re playing in on Saturday, which was great to be part of.
Our mini team challenges have also brought some entertaining moments, including one challenge which they called a team inchworm. I’ll be honest, my team was pretty bad at it!
We also did kick tennis, it’s always funny to see how the forwards do – a lot of them think they can kick, but it doesn’t always go to plan. There were a few surprises though, Freda Tafuna had a really good kick, and she was so good at catching high balls, so she helped us out a lot… perhaps she’s secretly a back; she can do anything.
Playing against Australia will be a huge game for us. We know from our previous games that it’s going to be close and competitive. They’ve played Fiji and New Zealand recently, so we’ve been able to get a good look and identify some areas that we think we can exploit.
We also got excited because we know that our game plan will work, and we don’t have to go back to the drawing board. It hasn’t made us nervous; it’s made us even more confident that if we stick to our systems, it should be a good outcome.
Tuesday is our combat day – a full tackle, full combat, long day. They say that at the end of it, you should be feeling more tired than after a game. It certainly felt like that this week! We were all dragging by the end, we put in a lot of work, and right when training ended, we did our huddle, looked up, and there was a giant double rainbow.
I love signs like that from the universe, and thought it was so special. It was such a beautiful way to ground everyone after a really hard session.
It was a good reminder to take a second to appreciate where we are and the people we’re with. I’ve had a lot of gratitude recently for my teammates and my close friends on the team who make this journey what it is, and it is important to take time to reflect.
It was Mother’s Day while we’re over here, it’s always difficult being away from home on special occasions, but we try and mark them while we’re on tour. Thanks to Rachel – I sent my mom a foot massager because I thought it was a perfect gift – and she loved it. We have two staff members who are moms, and they were away from their kids, so we made sure to make them feel special.
It was Keia Mae Sagapolu’s birthday this week – she didn’t really want her birthday to be recognized, but of course, we can’t let that slide, so we made sure to get her a birthday cake and sing. We all know that winning and getting the outcomes we want make the sacrifices feel a lot more worthwhile, so it gives us the extra drive to reach those goals.
While I’m in camp, I bring an envelope of photos and letters from people close to me, and whenever I do feel a bit homesick, I like to read those. It’s anything from birthday cards to good luck cards, and pictures that make me smile.
In our team room, we also have a big poster that says ‘home’, and everyone has submitted a photo of something that reminds them of home. It’s nice to see what also comforts other people, and those little reminders of home really do help.
While most of us are far from home, Sione has been in his element this week, being back in Australia. He’s said lots of his family members will be out at the game supporting him, which will be special. Obviously, he’s wearing a different shirt than he used to wear, but his family always supports him. He’s been able to help us out with different things, like where to eat and where to get coffee.
We have a little mascot, Freddy, who’s a stuffed animal eagle that comes everywhere with us when we’re on tour. Some of the girls have given him a makeover – he now has painted nails, fake eyelashes, and a nose ring; he’s very glamorous. Australia also have a mascot, theirs is a kangaroo, who knows, maybe they’ll meet up on the sidelines on Saturday!
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