'I saw The Greatest Schoeman t-shirts, but I don't think they wore them when I shouldered the guy from Munster'
Pierre Schoeman is hunched over the table in a Murrayfield hospitality box, eyes dancing, straggly hair quivering, an impossibly thick forearm mimicking the rearing and striking pattern of the deadly Egyptian cobra.
You see, Schoeman misses his family back in South Africa. He misses the sun, too, of course. The braai on the weekend, the road trips across the border to the idyllic coastline of Mozambique and the vast natural splendour that stretches as far as the eye can see.
But most of all, he misses the wildlife. He harbours so deep a love for the nature of his homeland and all its dangerous bush-lurking creatures that if one of these cobra fellas came slithering up the Edinburgh stadium’s west stand, he’d probably be pleased to see it.
“My wife Charissa and her family stayed on a farm just outside Nelspruit, close to the border of Mozambique,” he explained to RugbyPass. “There, they had a small river and at the sugar canes, an Egyptian cobra nest.
“What an Egyptian cobra does is it goes on the grass, then it goes up like a black mamba, it sizes up the prey, maybe looking children in the eyes. Even if you burn the whole place down, the next batch will just flood in because that’s perfect habitat for them. So they had to move.
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“When we were in Zimbabwe for a pre-season game with the Bulls, we went fishing in the Zambezi. A lot of crocodiles, hippos and tiger fish. Bull sharks that go in fresh water for miles and breed there. You swim in the river and see a shark and a crocodile together and you’re like, ‘Oh s**t!’ A lot of puff adders – they can kill, I think, 21 males or an elephant. And black mambas, a lot of black mambas.
“Even in Pretoria, there are a lot of snakes, spiders, scorpions. And you actually miss that. Say in Edinburgh, there are seagulls and crows, but sometimes I just pray that a bee comes into the house just to see some wildlife.”
Schoeman is a heck of a raconteur and, by all accounts, one of the Edinburgh squad’s jokers-in-chief. On this day, for instance, a dead seagull has been squirrelled into a team-mate’s backpack.
HAPPY 25th BIRTHDAY my beautiful wife Charissa Schoeman🎁15years ago today we sat in the same primary school class next to each other on your birthday in South Africa, today we are celebrating in Scotland, imagine where we’re going to wake up in 15 years time today🎊🍾#praiseGOD pic.twitter.com/53m7b6zkWG
— Pierre Schoeman (@pierraSCHOEMIES) April 23, 2019
He’s also a fine rugby player. This leviathan of a loosehead prop grew up in Bulls country, the rugby-obsessed Afrikaans heartlands of Nelspruit and Pretoria. He went straight from school to the Bulls academy, became a Super Rugby mainstay and won age-grade caps for South Africa.
As teenagers, he and elder brother Juan – another bruiser prop who plays for the Sharks – would write down each of their goals in notebooks. And as the younger Schoeman developed, he nailed all but one of his targets. “Everything I wrote came true except one thing thus far, and that was playing for the Springboks.
“I said by the age of 23, 24, I wanted to play for them and that didn’t happen. But me and my wife see it as the church and the Lord brought us over here to actually influence this city, to reach out to people, and to learn new things here.
“There, you think you are like a hero on a pedestal, playing Super Rugby, best in the world, big, successful union. Then you come here like CJ Stander at Ireland and suddenly you think, ‘Yeah, you’re 10% of the 100% you can go to, you still have 90% to learn and to grow’. It’s just amazing how it broadens up your human purpose and spirit as well.”
Schoeman is not yet 25 and he hasn’t closed the door on that unfulfilled Boks dream, but a big part of the attraction of moving to Edinburgh last summer was the chance to play Test rugby for Scotland.
He has spoken many times about his willingness to wait out the five-year residency period while helping Richard Cockerill turn the club into a force, and that longing has only strengthened now that he has immersed himself in Scotland and its capital.
“To be fair, I didn’t even know Edinburgh existed as a club before they approached me. Not to be arrogant, I had offers from Bayonne, Biarritz, Sale and Edinburgh. Heyneke Meyer almost got the job at Northampton Saints and he approached me about going there.
“When I met Cockers in South Africa, he said the club is building something really special. I know it’s a cliché, but you could actually see it through the hard work and looking at coach Cockers’ CV.
“Now you’re part of the family, you want to fight to leave Edinburgh in a better place, not only to get something out of it for you and your career, but to make a success of the club, give back to the club.”
The club held its annual End of Season Awards dinner last night where Pierre Schoeman picked up both the Best Newcomer and Player of the Year awards. 🏆👏
Read the full wrap-up: https://t.co/aQw6Rwcp0Q pic.twitter.com/6koIxEc8a5
— Edinburgh Rugby (@EdinburghRugby) April 20, 2019
Schoeman quickly assumed cult hero status in his debut season – his manic ball-carrying, ferocious scrummaging and enormous personality made sure of that. He is fitter and pushing bigger weights than ever before thanks to Nick Lumley, the club’s strength and conditioning coach, who subjects the beefiest squad members to the most hideous interval sessions on the watt bikes.
The Edinburgh fans have christened him ‘The Greatest Schoeman’ after Hugh Jackman’s character in the musical drama, and you can even buy t-shirts emblazoned with that moniker. “I’ll put my kilt on and make my next album at the castle,” he said. “I saw the t-shirts, but I don’t think they wore them when I shouldered the guy from Munster.”
Ah, yes. That blatant and costly bump on Tadhg Beirne. The lock’s flamboyant fall. And the penalty from which Munster scored the try that took them into the Champions Cup semi-finals.
Beirne denies he took a dive, saying the spectacular nature of the collapse owed to Schoeman’s rather monstrous frame and a team-mate running into him from behind as he went down, but the aesthetics of the tumble are undeniably bad.
Cockerill knows his man was at fault, but in the aftermath he spoke about this sort of alleged histrionics and how, if unchecked, they could infect the sport.
“If a guy bumps you like that and you throw your arms up in the air, you’re going to look like you’re milking it. But now it’s happened to you, why not do it in the next game to get a momentum shift?” said Schoeman.
CRC Edinburgh taking the streets of our amazing city. Trusting God for a life changing Easter service on Sunday. Join us tomorrow for outreach from 12:00 at the Omni Centre.
Easter service
Sunday
11:00@Apex Hotel
31 Grassmarket
EH12HS #Hehasrisen#Truelove #CrcEdinburgh pic.twitter.com/ersYZgiCE6— CRC Edinburgh (@edinburghcrc) April 18, 2019
“If it’s worked against you, it’s working, so you might as well implement it in your game style. I would rather push him back than make a massive coward statement by falling or collapsing, which is also maybe not the right thing.
“If you look at the previous game, maybe me or other players did it as well and the guy didn’t fall, he just shoved you back. It happens all the time, playing off the ball is a big part of rugby.
“Unfortunately the ref, because he made a big scene, did see it. Therefore he had to review it. Stuff like that, you have to say, is it worth it or not?”
This Saturday the final round of the #GUINNESSPRO14 takes place
There's a lot to play for! ❤️🏆 #PRO14Proud https://t.co/UriCagnbBX
— BKT United Rugby Championship (URC) (@URCOfficial) April 24, 2019
Edinburgh’s European campaign was intoxicating, but in the PRO14, they have been far too flaky, lost far too many games that should have been won – and won comfortably.
That leaves them in a fraught position with Saturday’s end-of-season derby against Glasgow Warriors looming. Fourth in Conference B, a point behind Benetton, who will surely make short work of Zebre, and a point clear of Scarlets, who will surely make short work of Dragons.
Falling into the Challenge Cup after the year they have had would be a brutal come-down. To guarantee fourth place and a Champions Cup play-off, they need maximum points at Scotstoun. Edinburgh have won five of the last six 1872 Cup derbies but haven’t scored four tries against their rivals for five years and last managed a bonus-point victory in the fixture in 2008.
“I think coach Cockers wants to play in these games more than some of the players sometimes. If he was younger, he would have beaten Stuart McInally with a fist in training to get to play at hooker,” said the South African.
“No matter how many times Edinburgh beat Glasgow, they always think they’re better than Edinburgh, like a nice enemy kind of vibe. You have to make a statement every time you play them. You can see how much it means to the local boys. This is our last chance. We’ve got to be full-on, but not stupid.
“Can you do that under the pressure that you have to win? Can you be 19-7 down at half-time and still believe you can score three tries for that bonus point and win? Under pressure like this, the biggest thing is not to play with fear – what makes you good, your attributes, skill, ability, you have to use it, you have to express yourself.”
Whether crashing into contact, jigging in his kilt, or imitating a snake, expressing himself has always come easy to Schoeman.
Comments on RugbyPass
SBW is fast becoming a laughing stock, his misplaced comments & lack of insight Is actually pretty sad.
3 Go to commentsJust well you guys are couch 🛋 potatoes selector's, picking a team of greenhorns to play England! “What are you people smoking?” The halfbacks will be Christie, Fakatava, Perenara Props; Newell, Bower, Lomax, Tunga'fasi, Hookers; Asosa Amua when fit, Taylor, Samisoni,
11 Go to commentsQuite frankly, all this is a bit pathetic. The first time Wales get the Wooden Spoon in 21 years and everyone is on the bandwagon for a ‘play-off’ game. Wales have no obligation to Georgia and no obligation to the rest of the Six Nations to play such a game. If they want Georgia in so badly then they need to include South Africa into a Northern Hemisphere competition with 2 leagues of 4 teams with the top 2 competing for the Championship. Sadly, this will end Triple Crowns and Grand Slams forever. Is this really what you want?
4 Go to commentsI think Finau to start Blackadder to come on. Poss Prokter instead of Ioane, haven't seen much from Reiko so far this year.
11 Go to commentsJoe will have had a good chat with Dave Rennie, a smart move to begin with while it’s doubtful Fast Eddie will be consulted? Plenty of Aus players hitting top form so they should go OK.
3 Go to commentsMmm. Not sure I like this article or see it as necessary.
3 Go to commentsBlackadder but no Finau! 😀 It’s Razor so you are probably right, plus Taylor at 2…
11 Go to commentsThe strongest possible AB side would actually include Aaron Smith, Bodie Retallick, Sam Whitelock, Leicester Fainga'anuku, Shannon Frizzel.. don’t get me started on the rest of the injury hit brigade that got flung on the heap so left. Many a whole not getting filled as of yet.
11 Go to commentsI don’t think anyone knows what Schmidt will do, one thing is certain it ain’t gonna be all the picks we on the keyboard will think. My impression of him is that he will be looking at who can step up and what is the best combination. He will ignore individuals as he looks for guys who can build a powerful team and not just guys who can make a flashy run or ignore the winger as they want to score themselves.
3 Go to commentsSome dumb selections there. Not Porecki Not Donaldson Not Gordon Not Lonegran - both Not Nic White - Fines instead Not Liam Wright Not Paisami Definitely not Vunivalu Other than that not bad.
3 Go to commentsI've never been convinced that Patty T is a test match all black. Otherwise I probably agree it's the best side available to beat the poms. Caveat that Codie Taylor is yet to be seen and could very likely warrant selection by June. I hope that Razor brings the young loosies, half backs and locks into the training squad and develops/ selects the best
11 Go to commentsYou doing the same thing I disliked about the example of Samisoni Taukei'aho, Nick. He’s great the way he is, you’re trying to do what modern-day coaches frustrate me doing, turning everyone into the perfect athlete. Next thing you’ll be telling me you’ll bench him until he’s hit that arbitrary marker, and can’t overtake the current guy who’s doing all his workons. He’s a young Kieran Read, through and through, plays wide and has threat, mainly (and evident in your clips) through his two hand carry and speed. Just let him work on that, or whatever he wants, and determine his own future. Play God and you risk the players going sideways, like Read did, instead of being a Toutai Kefu. I mean I was in the same camp for a while, wanting our tight five to have the size, and carry ability, as the teams they were getting beat by. Now I’m starting to believe those teams just have better skilled and practiced individuals, bigger by upwards of 5kg sometimes, sure, but more influentially they have those intrinsic skills of trust and awareness. Basically our guys just didn’t know wtf they were doing. Don’t think I’m trying to prove a point here but hasn’t Caleb Clarke been in much better form this year, or does he just ‘look’ better now that he’s not always trying to use his size?
44 Go to commentsThe pack lacks a little in height for the line out and I wouldn’t be completely convinced by some of the combinations till we see it in action.
11 Go to commentsThe side is good but lacks experience. International playing bona fides udually trumps super rugby form for good reason. And incumbents are usually stuck with. Codie Taylor should start or come off the bench. B Barrett will start at fullback. Blackadder has not earned the position, Finau has. TJs experience and competitiveness earns him a starting role, Christie or Ratima off the bench
11 Go to commentsPretty good side. Scott Barrett should be the captain. Ethan Blackadder a great choice at blindside. He is going to go from strength to strength having made a couple of starts for the Crusaders. Scott Robertson rates him highly. Perenara could start a no 9.
11 Go to commentsI question and with respect. Was enough done over the last few years to bring through new blood knowing the Whitelocks and co couldn’t last forever. There should have been more done to future proof the team. New squad new coach, he and they weren’t set up well. IMO
6 Go to commentsJacobsen will definitely be in the 23
11 Go to commentsLots of discussion points, Ben, but two glaring follies IMO: 1. Blackadder at 6. Has done nothing so far this season to justify his selection. Did you see him going backwards in contact at the weekend? Simply has not got the physical presence at 6: we need a Scott Barrett or a Finau (or wildcard Ah Kuoi), beasts who are big enough to play lock, like Frizzell. If Barret played at 6, Paddy could be joined at lock by Vai’i or one of the young giants we need to promote, like Darry or Lord (if he ever gets on the field). Blackadder best left to join the queue for 7. 2. Not even a mention for Christie? Ratima gets caught at crucial times at the back of the ruck when he hesitates on the pass. The only way he starts would be if Christie and TJ are injured.
11 Go to commentsWhat a dagg in more ways than one
6 Go to commentsRegroup come back next year but sack some of the coaching team and don't be like the ABs last minute sacking. If Crusaders don't do well ABs don't do well.
5 Go to comments