How should I feel about a crap All Blacks side?
At what point does schadenfreude morph into pity? For how long can one look upon the misery of a fallen adversary before feeling the sharp pang of sympathy? Perhaps these questions are nonsense. Maybe one’s joy is inversely proportional to the suffering of a foe. All the better yet if that foe once ruled the world.
These tangled conundrums have filled my head this week as the South African Springboks host the New Zealand All Blacks on Saturday. As a journalist and observer of the game, I am paid to be neutral, to cast a dispassionate eye on events and report the facts as I see them.
But that is a challenging task when these two teams meet. I am a South African, I am a sports fan and I was raised in the early years of the self-branded ‘New’ South Africa. I was seven-years-old when Joel Stransky nailed a drop goal to hand the Springboks the 1995 Rugby World Cup. I was intoxicated by the belief that sport had the power to change the world, as Nelson Mandela told us, and tightly wrapped myself in the rainbow-nationalism that the former president espoused.
But every hero needs a villain and the All Blacks, those monsters under the bed who’d snatch me away in the night if I didn’t finish my vegetables, were the boogeymen of my deepest nightmares.
They terrified me. But more than that, they fascinated me. Watching them was akin to witnessing a natural disaster in full flow. A Jonah Lomu rampaging run was a volcano erupting. A Zinzan Brooke tackle was a tsunami. The haka was at once sacred and malevolent, like the rumbling incantations of druids .
Beyond any awe or fear I carried, the enduring feeling I had was respect. Every match against these Goliaths felt significant. All the well-worn sporting tropes came alive before these showstopping set-pieces. There were no dead rubbers. Form went out the window. So often it came down to the finest of margins.
We’ll all have our standout moments against the All Blacks. Mine is Richard Bands’ try in Dunedin in 2003 that included a mighty hand-off on the great Carlos Spencer. But more than any individual event or piece of skill, my favourite thing about this rivalry is that it exists. That it’s so often a meeting between the two undisputed powerhouses of the game. That it brings together a collision of brute force and electric guile, a thunderous whirlwind of emotion that knocks the breath out of spectators half a world away.
Which brings us to this week’s contest, the 102nd in 101 years. The All Blacks are currently ranked fourth on World Rugby’s metrics. Read that again. Fourth. Three teams are ahead of them. This is unchartered territory. They’ve just lost consecutive Tests on home soil for the first time in more than two decades. The ravens have left the tower. The wolves are circling. This lot have already been branded the worst All Blacks side in history.
How am I supposed to feel about this? Should I be joyous that an outfit that has inflicted so much heartache on my team has finally been brought low? Should I remind myself that it was New Zealand rugby that made the South Africans feel like unwelcome guests in Super Rugby and so accelerated the decline of what was once the best domestic competition in the world?
I’ll be honest, I do feel those things. But I also feel a degree of sadness. I can’t help but liken myself to a young Gaul in the seventh century, looking up at the crumbling Roman aqueducts and wondering what giants built these wonders.
We’re not there yet. This is an empire on the wane rather than one in ruin, but a chastening defeat to the Springboks in both Tests could prove disastrous for New Zealand. And, to be frank, the Springboks really ought to pulverise them.
I’m not buying the cliches this time. I’m not entertaining the tropes of wounded tigers or the comparisons with cornered Spartans at Thermopylae. The Springboks, the world champion, Lions series winning Springboks, cannot waste their best ever opportunity to rub the All Blacks’ noses in a mess of their own making.
And this is why I am worried. What if New Zealand rouse themselves from their sleepwalk and send a reminder to the world of their former greatness? What if the Springboks saunter into the fight bloated on false impressions and get walloped by a side with a score to settle? Neither team can afford to lose in Mbombela but the South Africans have even less wiggle room than their guests.
Malcom Marx’s inclusion in the starting XV for only the second time since the 2019 World Cup is an indication that coach Jacques Nienaber wants to get at the All Blacks as soon as possible. Like most Springboks matches that matter, this one won’t be pretty. They won’t look to replicate the eye-catching patterns so astutely executed by Ireland. They’ll be direct and forceful. They’ll set themselves up to bully the bullies.
In doing so they’ll heap even more misery on an organisation that once only dealt in triumphs. I wonder how we’ll all feel after that.
Comments on RugbyPass
Results probably skewed by the fact that a few clubs have foreign fly halves in their 30s, but most teams have young English scrum halves. Results also likely to be skewed by the fact that many teams rely on centres and fullbacks to provide depth at 10, whereas they will need to stock a large number of specialist backup 9s.
1 Go to commentsI really get the sense that when all is said and done, the path of least resistance will end up being a merger of Wasps & Worcester that essentially kills the Worcester Warriors brand and sees Wasps permanently playing at Sixways. I’m not saying that’s what should happen or what I want to happen. I just think it’s the easiest rout to take and therefore, will be what happens. Wasps will definitely return to play first, and I suppose it all depends on if they can find support at Sixways. If people turn up and support Wasps in that community, at that ground, I bet they drop the Sevenoaks plan and just remain at Sixways. Under the radar but not totally unrelated, it looks as though London Irish are going to be brought back from the dead by a German consortium and look set to return, likely to the remade Championship. It’s set to have 12 clubs next season with 14 in 2025/26, what do you want to bet those extra 2 are Wasps and London Irish?
1 Go to commentsThe shoulder is a “joint” with multiple bones. You don’t “fracture” a shoulder, you fracture any one or more of the bones that make up a shoulder.
2 Go to commentsOh dear, bones too suspect to continue?
2 Go to commentsBold headline considering the Canes and Blues are 1 and 2 and the Brumbies were soundly beaten by the Chiefs and Blues. Biggest surprise is Rebels 4 Crusaders 12 - no one saw that coming. If Aus are improving that’s great 👍
1 Go to commentsAnna, You are right, we need to have patience whilst the others catch up to England and France. Also it is the PWR that has been the game changer for England. the RFU put money into that initially at the expense of the Red Roses. I was sceptical at first but it has paid off in spades.
1 Go to commentsI think Matt Proctor became a 1 test AB in the same fixture. Cameron is quality and has been great this season, can’t believe’s he only 27. Realistically how would he not be selected for ABs squad this year. Only Dmac is ahead of him as a specialist 10. With Jordan out, it will come down to where and when Beauden Barrett slots back in, and where they want to play Ruben Love. Cameron seems an absolute lock in for the wider squad though. Added benefit of TJ-Cameron-Jordie combination at 9, 10, 11 too.
1 Go to commentsFarcical, to what end would someone want to pay to keep this thing going.
1 Go to commentsHavili, our best 12 by a mile, will be in the squad, if he stays fit. JB is the most overrated AB in the last 50 years.
61 Go to commentsWe had during the week twilight footy, twilight cricket, tw golf plus there was the athletics club. Then the weekend was rugby 15s plus the net ball, really busy club scene back then but so much has changed and rugby has suffered. And it was all about changing lifestyles.
6 Go to commentsIn the 70s and 80s my club ran 5 Senior sides plus a Vets. Now it is 2 sides with an occasional 3rd team. Players have difficulty getting to training now, not sure why and the commitment is not there. It seems to me more a problem of people applying themselves and not expecting to turn up and play whenever they want to.
6 Go to commentsROG’s contract is until 2027. The conversation about a successor to Galthie after RWC 2027 may be starting now. We can infer that Galthie’s reign stops then. He is throwing the Irish Coaching Job angle in because he is Irish. The next Irish coach MUST be Leo Cullen. As well as being the best coach available, coaching the vast majority of Irish Internationals week in week out, he has shown incredible skill at recruiting the best coaching staff for the job in hand. That was a failing in France. Cullen is a shrewd guy and if there is a need for foreign coaches underneath him he won’t hesitate. Rightly so. Ireland does need to start to bring Irish coaches through. Not just at the professional level but we need to train coaches to man new pathways for developing kids from schools/clubs up through the divisions.
8 Go to commentsNo Islam says it must rule where it stands Thus it is to be deleted from this planet Earth
18 Go to commentsThis team probably does not beat the ABs sadly Not sure if BPA will be available given his signing for Force but has to enter consideration. Very strong possibility of getting schooled by the AB props. Advantage AB. Rodda/Skelton would be a tasty locking combination - would love to see how they get on. Advantage Wallabies. Backrow a risk of getting out hustled and outmuscled by ABs. Will be interesting to see if the Blues feast on the Reds this weekend the way they did the Brumbies we are in big trouble at the breakdown. Great energy, running and defence but goalkicking/general kicking/passing quality in the halves bothers me enormously. SA may have won the World Cup for a lot of the tournament without a recognised goalkicker but Pollard in the final made a difference IMO. Injuries and retirements leave AB stocks a bit lighter but still stronger. 12 and 13 ABs shade it (Barret > Paisami, Ione = Ikitau, arguably) Interesting clash of styles on the wings - Corey Toole running around Caleb Clark and Caleb running over the top of Toole. Reece vs Koro probably the reverse. Pretty even IMO. 15s Kelleway = Love See advantage to ABs man for man, but we are not obviously getting slaughtered anywhere which makes a nice change. Think talent wise we are pretty even and if our cohesion and teamwork is better than the ABs then its just about doable.
11 Go to commentsCompletely agree. More friday night games would be a hit. RFU to make sure every club has a floodlit pitch. Club opens again Saturday to welcome touch / tag. Minis and youths on Sunday
6 Go to comments1.97m and 105Kg? Proportionately, probably skinnier than me at 1.82 and 82kilos. He won’t survive against the big guys at that weight.
56 Go to commentsThe value he brought to the crusaders as an assistant was equal to what he got out of being there. He reflected not only on the team culture but also the credit he attributed to the rugby community. Such experience shouldn’t be overlooked.
8 Go to commentsGood luck Aussie
11 Go to commentssmith at 9 / mounga 10 / laumape 12 / fainganuku 14
61 Go to commentsBar the injuries, it’s pretty much their top team …
2 Go to comments