'My mental health took a hit, I was so focused on filling the so-called boots of Cipriani'
These days, Lima Sopoaga inhabits a world of colour at Wasps, a life enriched and a sleep pattern decimated by two infant daughters who have pierced the monotony of coronavirus lockdown.
But it wasn’t so long ago that the fly-half was mired in blackness. A depression swallowed him during his early months in England and drove him to despise rugby. On the grimmest days, he seriously considered packing it all in. The tumult forced him to confront his vulnerabilities and taught him precious nuggets about himself.
Sopoaga arrived at Wasps from the Highlanders in 2018 as a Super Rugby winner and a 16-Test All Black and yet he felt like a boy fresh out of the academy.
He floundered in a new country with new teammates, new competitions, a new style of play, all the while painfully aware of the expectations that came with his CV, fat salary and the desperate thirst to replace Danny Cipriani, whose dazzling talents had been lost to Gloucester. His form fell off a cliff and he grew deeply unhappy.
“I probably hated the game for a lot of my first year, to be totally honest,” Sopoaga told RugbyPass about adjusting to life at Wasps. “I definitely had moments where I thought, I don’t know if I want to continue playing rugby.
“My mental health took a pretty big hit. I was naive in that I didn’t think moving to the other side of the world would have such an effect on home life and on me personally.
“I just thought I’d come to another country, get a house, get a car, go to training, come home, and enjoy life. You’re trying to work out simple things like which supermarket do I shop at, paying this council tax and this insurance, setting my family up at the doctor. Even in an English-speaking country, that was hard.
“What made it worse were the club not doing well and me not playing well. It just all snowballed, man.”
In that first year, Wasps struggled and so did Sopoaga. A canny club doctor, Ralph Mitchell, saw the playmaker flailing and referred him to the Rugby Players Association, who were able to arrange a form of counselling.
Those sessions and the support from his team were invaluable, but most important of all were the love of his partner Miriam and the growth of his little daughters, Milla and Isla, who are now aged two and one.
“I was pretty unhappy for a long time but we have gotten through it. I’ll be better for the struggle of moving over here and not being as successful as I’d have loved to be straight off the bat.
“I’ve got two kids to run around after and they bring so much joy to my life that when you come home after a win, they don’t care, and when you come home after a loss, they still don’t care. You go up to the after-match and they run up to you, give you a big hug and they want to have a million cookies or a drink of your fizzy drink.
“A bit of perspective is always really good for footie players because sometimes we get bogged down in wins and losses.”
"Guys were messaging each other on Instagram: 'Like bro, I'm hearing you are getting pay cuts'. This is guys from other English clubs and I'm just like, 'Bro I have no f***in' clue'"
– @LimaSopoaga gives @jimhamilton4 his take on Premiership wage cuts ???https://t.co/YO0eicjFb3
— RugbyPass (@RugbyPass) July 8, 2020
Sopoaga talks about all of this with candour and frankness. He embraces his flaws, laying much of the blame for his difficult transition squarely on himself.
He didn’t do enough research into what he was signing up for. How different could the Premiership really be to charging around in Dunedin with his mates? Rugby was rugby, wherever it was played, and he would soon boss the show in England just as he had done at home.
“I came over with the wrong mindset in that I just thought, sweet, I’m a bona fide rugby player, I know how to play rugby,” he explained. “I didn’t mentally prepare for the fact that by the time I left Dunedin, I had built these relationships with players over nine years and I expected to walk right in and run a team as I would if I was running it back in Dunedin. That’s where I came unstuck.
“The way the game is played in the north and south is totally different. A lot of that is to do with the weather – you can’t play that Super Rugby style in the middle of winter here, it just doesn’t work, and that’s what I struggled with.
What you don't understand is this. Some of those guys you see running around under the bright lights. Never once sat in those seats as kids growing up. So they 100% know the value of their contracts. #Fact https://t.co/w5NTaU4ZaT
— Lima Sopoaga (@LimaSopoaga) July 5, 2020
“As I wasn’t playing as well, I was trying harder to get better and that just made it worse. My mental health took a hit because I was so focused on coming here and filling the so-called boots of Cipriani and I really wanted to make my mark on the club. I expected it to be too much like New Zealand and I wasn’t open-minded enough.”
Injuries struck, but Dai Young’s marquee newcomer was frequently relegated to the bench or left out of the squad altogether, usurped by the old warhorse Jimmy Gopperth and the blossoming Jacob Umaga.
At the end of his first season at Wasps, Stuart Barnes, one of British rugby’s foremost pundits, described the signing of Sopoaga as a “clumsy mistake”. Another newspaper ranked him as the worst acquisition of the Premiership campaign.
Naturally, the criticism hurt his family back in New Zealand. Sopoaga took some heat on social media too, where he is very active, and he fears the way fans and journalists interact with players is going to harm the image of the game. Rugby demands more characters and less blandness – then savages those who put their heads above the parapet.
“You’re looking through a particular lens and saying, this guy’s crap, what a waste of money. But when you criticise players, do you know that one guy has maybe lost his dad, or another is going through off-field stuff that you have no idea about? Maybe the club’s not treating him right.
“The big thing is, especially in media and online, fans want characters but then when guys show who they truly are… for example Ellis Genge, an awesome character who is great for the game and I think is quite funny.
“He did that one interview after England beat Scotland where he had a beer in his hand, and everybody is like, what’s he doing, a boy from the estate or whatever. They kick him down and say all this bad stuff about him.
“Hold on a minute, he’s going to walk in the changing room and celebrate the win and drink a beer there – what’s the difference? The backdrop behind him, half the sponsors on there are alcohol brands anyway! It just doesn’t make sense. What do you want from players?
“You get reporters wanting to do interviews with guys and they get the same old answers. Sometimes players hold themselves in from being who they truly really want to be because they don’t want this backlash. And then people are like, man, rugby’s boring, where are all the characters? You get the characters and they say, nah, we don’t want it like that, we want it like this.”
A month out from the Premiership’s return, Sopoaga plans to fulfil the final year of his Wasps contract and then see where rugby and life take him in 2021.
Young, the director of rugby who brought him to Coventry, stepped back from first-team duties in February after a meek start to the season, but Wasps have rallied. Under Lee Blackett, they propelled themselves four places up the table to fifth, with Sopoaga spending the final matches before rugby was suspended at full-back. At last, he looked and felt truly at ease.
“I just want to win a comp really,” he said. “Before the lockdown, we had turned a corner as a group of players and as a club and we were on the rise. I’d love to see us make the top four, get our hat in the ring, and whatever happens in the finals happens.
Back in action!! ?@premrugby has announced dates for rounds 1??4??-1??7??https://t.co/O20qFDAJCB
— Wasps Rugby (@WaspsRugby) July 10, 2020
“I like the freedom of playing 15. You end up organising the backline and helping out the 10 a lot. As a ten myself, I know what Jacob or Jimmy need from me at the back. I’m a voice, I’m their eyes, I’m their ears.
“It’s been awesome adding another string to my bow, but I still love ten, I love being the shot-caller and running a team.
“Before lockdown I was really enjoying rugby, it was really fun, and I just want to get back to that. I want to get back to loving my rugby because I’d started to find the joy again.”
The smile and the vigour is back now, happiness underpinned by the chaotic bliss of home. Sopoaga is stronger for the pain he endured while at Wasps. He is ready to rip into rugby again, primed to step out of the darkness and into the light.
Comments on RugbyPass
Article intéressant ! La question devrait régulièrement se poser pour les jeunes français originaires de Nouvelle-Calédonie, Wallis-et-Futuna et de Polynésie entre la Nouvelle-Zélande et la Métropole… Difficile pour la fédération française de rugby de se positionner : soit le choix est fait de dénicher les jeunes talents et de les faire venir très tôt en Métropole, au risque de les déraciner, soit on prend le risque de se les faire “piller” par les All Blacks qui, telle une araignée, essaye de récupérer tous les talents des îles du Pacifique… À la France de se défendre en développant l’aura du XV de France et des clubs français dans ses collectivités d’Outre-mer !
2 Go to commentsWrong bay. He needs to come to the REAL BAY which is Bay Of Plenty and have a crack at making the Chiefs.
2 Go to commentsIs Barrett going play full back??? They already have all the centers…
15 Go to commentsForgive my ignorance, I might not fully understand so would appreciate clarification: Didn’t the Bulls have to fly with three different carriers, paid for by the South African Rugby Union, whilst Edinburgh got a chartered flight sponsored by EPCR? Also, as far as I understand it South African teams don’t yet share in the revenue from the competition and are not allowed to host Semi-finals or Finals at home. Surely if everyone wants South Africans to “take the competition seriously” then they must make South Africans feel welcome, allow them to share in the revenue, and give them the same levels of access as the teams from the other countries. Just a reminder that South Africa has a large and passionate Rugby audience. Just by virtue of our teams being a part of these competitions means that more of us are likely to watch the knockout games, even if our teams haven’t qualified. It would be silly to alienate such a large audience by making them feel unwelcome.
18 Go to commentsFirst of all. This guy is very much behind the curve. All the bleating, whingeing, whining and moaning took place days ago already. Not adding anything to the topic other than more bleating, whingeing, whining and moaning. 🍼 Second of all, not one mention of the fact that South African teams can’t get home semi finals or finals. The tournament was undermined and devalued by the administrators. 🤡 Thirdly, football teams often have to juggle selections in mid week games, premier games, champions league games etc. and will from time to time prioritize certain titles over others. 🐒 And lastly FEK Neil, and anyone else for that matter, for insisting on telling teams how to manage themselves. If they make what is largely a business decision that suits them and doesn’t suit you - tough shite. 💩 It’s not rocket science as to why the Bulls did what they did. If this guy is too slow to figure it out (and is deliberately not mentioning one of the key reasons why) then he isn’t a journalist. He should join the rest of us pundit plebs in comments section. 🥴
18 Go to commentsSo the first door to knock on Rob is Parliament followed by HMRC. The Irish Revenue deliver a 40% tax relief rebate on the HIGHEST EARNING TEN YEARS of every pro Irish rugby players contract earnings at retirement. That goes a long way to both retaining their best talent and freeing up wages for marquee players. Who knows, if that had been in place in the UK, you might not have been able to poach Hoggy and Jonny Gray from Glasgow…!!!
2 Go to comments1. True, if that “free” ticket means access to all but the prized exhibit - EVIP only. SA cannot host semis, even if they’ve earned it (see Sharks vs ASM Clermont Auvergne at… Twickenham Stoop). 2. Why no selective outrage over Lyon doing the exact same thing a week earlier? Out of all the countries France send the most “B teams”, why nobody talking about “disrespect” and “prioritising domestic leagues” and “kicking them out”? 3. Why no mention of the Sharks fielding all of their Springboks for the second rate Challenge cup QF? No commitment? 4. Why no mention of all the SA teams qualifying for respective euro knock out comps in the two seasons they’ve been in it? How many euro teams have qualified for KO’s in their history? Can’t compete? 5. Why no mention of SA teams beating French and English giants La Rochelle and Saracens? How many euro teams have done that in their history? Add no quality? The fact is that SA teams are only in their second season in europe, with no status and a fraction of the resources. Since joining the URC, SA has seen a repatriation of a number of players, and this will only grow once SA start sharing in the profits of competing in these comps, meaning bigger squads with greater depth and quality, meaning they don’t have to prioritise comps as they have to now - they don’t have imports from Pacifica and South America and everywhere else in between like “European” teams have - also less “Saffas” in Prem and T14, that’s what we want right? 'If the South Africans are in, they need to be all in' True, and we have to ensure we give them the same status and resources as we give everyone else to do just that. A small compromise on scheduling will go a long way in avoiding these situations, but guess what, France and England wont compromise on scheduling because they ironically… prioritise their domestic comps, go figure!
18 Go to commentsthe success of the premiership can be summarized by : only 10 teams. It makes a huge difference with the overcrowded top 14 (let us not talk about Leinster and URC…)
1 Go to commentsGood for him. The ABs were fooling around again with converted fullbacks that had a penetration of a marshmallow. Laumape or as Aki has shown for Ireland, go forward is important in the centres. If it had been DMac - Aki- Aumua - Ioane- Telea- Jordan in France the final result would have been different.
4 Go to commentsDan Carter a apporté son professionnalisme, des méthodes de travail, un esprit qui manquaient à l’USAP. Son influence, même une fois blessé a été énorme. Et pour citer une anecdote, certains soirs il venait de lui-même à l’entraînement des jeunes pour dispenser ses conseils. On ne peut pas compter ce qu’il a apporté au club en heures de jeu sur le terrain. Est-ce que le club en a eu pour son argent ? Avec la publicité sur son nom et le titre, je suppose que oui.
1 Go to commentsThe SA sides are suffering from a bum rap here. There isn’t a side anywhere in the world that would do things differently in their shoes. They’ve been set up to fail in the EPCR comps by vested interests, with last minute intercontinental travel requirements that costs an arm and a leg to book in advance just on the possibility they might be required. And the total nonsense that denies any chance of home venues is entirely biased and absolutely unsporting. Either EPCR, the Top14 & the Gallagher Premiership get it sorted on a fair and equitable sporting basis for ALL participants or expect the ridicule to continue. Right now, these comps are a joke!
18 Go to commentsSA sides should do the right thing and leave the champions cup, they are lowering the standard with completely one sided games, not up to the right level. The greatest club tournament in the world is being banjaxed by the weak SA sides.
18 Go to commentsCouldnt agree more. SA sides need to show more committment and really have a go at the Champions Cup. Its quite possibly the most prestigious title in Europe and SA sides need to respect that prestige and serve up their best. EPCR needs to do more to ensure that sides from South Africa and sides travelling to and from SA have a better chance in this competition. The Bulls were put in a really difficult position of having to travel there and back in one week. One could argue that this is what the SA sides signed up for and that La Rochelle didnt complain or send out weakened sides despite having to travel to SA and back and play on successive weekends but surely the situation is also unfair on La Rochelle as well and so EPCR needs to think about successive gameweeks and the travel effect of the competition
18 Go to commentsI hadn’t watched much Canes this season but sat through a replay of that Chiefs game with no distractions. That pack is beastly. I really like the look of Iose. He loves the tough stuff. The first Quins clip may be the best I have even seen for a TH driving his opposite into oblivion. i need to take your word for the contribution of Walker, but Collier there with a straight back pushing up from under was a lovely thing to see. Have you fallen in love with Baxter also, Nick? I think Stuart Barnes may have written his column about him recently, naked. He positively frothed.
14 Go to commentsSmart guy. I wish he was running the RFU or something!
2 Go to commentsWhy Barrett, when Leinster already have at least 4 top centres.?
15 Go to commentsGood write up, Brett. Rebels are an interesting one for sure. 88 points scored in the last two games, but against two teams that are unlikely to be in the top 4 at seasons end. However the other side of the coin, against the Hurricanes, the team to beat atm, they conceded 54 points, and add in another 53 points to the then high flying Reds, and things don’t look so good. The acid tests will be against the Blues and the Chiefs. I do hope they do contest the finals this year, if only to confound those working on their demise. Les Kiss has made a big difference to the Qld. Reds, and they could so easily have now been sitting unbeaten at the top of the table. But they have now lost some games in a most disappointing fashion, and now step up against the Highlanders this weekend seriously depleted, four absolute key players down, two to suspension, two injured. Of the other Australian sides, the Brumbies look unlikely to fold to anyone any time soon, while the Waratahs and Force both disappoint. But still and all, winning games against the NZ sides is very welcome, and one would hope for more to come. Who will come out on top ? A North Island side for sure should contest the final, but I would hope an Australian side might just get there this year. Brumbies most likely, Qld. Reds could be formidable with a full team back on the field.
12 Go to commentsThe stat that illustrates some progress compared to recent years is that Aussie sides have won 5 of 12 games against Kiwi sides. The Tahs have lost 2 tight games against Kiwi sides, while the Reds and Tahs have contrasting experiences in games against Kiwi sides decided by that farcical thing called golden point.
12 Go to commentsThe Hurricanes pack has stepped up in a huge way this year. Their improvement at scrum time has been a big contributor to their success. Aumua looks like he is playing with a lot of confidence and put in a really good display at both set piece and in general play on Saturday. Him and Numia are putting in a good case for higher honours, A dominate combination with Lomax will help their case. And their loose forward depth is class. Iose has benefited from regular game time and Lakai has shown his versatility and promise. Thanks Nick. Hope all is well.
14 Go to commentsSamoa have enough former internationals who want to flick a switch for a country most have probably hardly set foot in. If you’re that passionate about Samoa, go live and play rugby there to qualify instead of just waltzing into the side and kicking a player actually from Samoa out of the squad. All these ex internationals hasn’t really made them that much more competitive because most look like they're going through the motions.
2 Go to comments