What Super Rugby means to a Northern Hemisphere rugby fan
What does a defence-worshipping Englishman see when they watch a game of Super Rugby? Lee Calvert has some observations.
1. The crushing of our hopes and dreams
Despite all the lessons the history of rugby has taught us, we still labour under the misapprehension that somehow New Zealand will one day stop being so good. Each time a squad of All Blacks is reaching a transitional phase the tiny beacon of hope is lit: that this time, this time, the next generation will be, if not rubbish, then a least a little bit rubbisher than the last. Then we watch Super Rugby and see an obscenely talented 19-year-old winger at the Highlanders, or a collection of monstrously terrifying forwards all under the age of 23 scattered across the Blues and the ‘Canes, or an already brilliant player who has spent five years behind the retiring All Blacks incumbent. This is the point at which we weep salty tears of frustration, shake our fists at the sky and shout “WHY? WHY? WHY?!”
2. Way too many points
To us, Super Rugby points totals resemble a strange hybrid of cricket and basketball scores. “Ah look, it was 42-3 at half time and now it’s finished 96-75.” Southern Hemisphere types call this a feast of attacking skill to enrich your rugby soul. Northern Hemisphere rugby fans call it stupid. It’s not that we don’t like attacking rugby per se, it’s just that we don’t really understand it. On his conquests Genghis Khan destroyed things he didn’t understand – things like cities – and that’s kind of what we do to attacking rugby. We also genuinely prefer to see teams that can defend. It would appear that is more important to us than it is to Southern Hemisphere fans.
[rugbypass-ad-banner id=”1473723684″]
3. Manifest rugby destiny
When the Europeans first arrived on the soil of what is now the United States of America, they decided that it was their destiny to take over the entire continent – something that became known as a ‘manifest destiny.’ Super Rugby has adopted this concept in a sporting context, something completely at odds with Northern Hemisphere thinking. Up north, if a nation or club asks to join one of our competitions they are more-or-less told to piss right off by the men at the helm of our great tournaments. In the south it’s the more the merrier; anyone can join. A Japanese team with a batshit mascot and little chance of winning? Climb aboard, lads! A de facto Argentina team who have to clock up 97 million air miles every season? You are welcome. It would not be a surprise if by 2025 there is a Super Rugby franchise on Saturn. Anything goes. Unless you’re Pacific Islands team – then you are given the Northern Hemisphere treatment.
4. An opportunity to keep drinking all weekend
Due to the mysteries of international time difference, Super Rugby allows us to incorporate the action into a full weekend drinking cycle. A few lagers on Friday morning watching a match from New Zealand, continued into a tipsy viewing on Friday evening of a South African conference game, then watching the Jaguares completely sozzled at 11 pm out of one eye with a kebab balanced on our chests. Hungover breakfast on Saturday watching an Australian match-up, repeat Friday but replace Jaguares with Sunwolves. Sunday is mostly nausea and self-loathing, but that is still a bloody good weekend in anyone’s book.
5. Rain.
If there’s one thing Super Rugby has taught us it’s that it rains a lot in New Zealand. There have been roughly four televised matches in the last ten years where it wasn’t pissing it down. Fact.
Comments on RugbyPass
Like others, I am not seeing the connection between this edition of the Crusaders and the All Blacks future prospects under Razor. I think the analysis of the Crusaders attack recently is helpful because Razor and his coaching team used to be able to slot new guys in to their systems and see them succeed. Several of Razor’s coaches are still there so it would be surprising if the current attack and set piece has been overhauled to a great extent - but based on that analysis, it may have been. Whether it is too many new guys due to injuries or retirement or a failure of current Crusaders systems is the main question to be answered imo. It doesn’t seem relevant for the ABs.
3 Go to commentsharry potter is set in stone. he creates stability and finishes well. exactly what schmidt likes. he’s the ben smith of australian rugby. i think it could quite easily be potter toole and kellaway for the foreseeable future.
5 Go to commentsThis is short sighted from Clayton if you ask me, smacks of too much preseason planning and no adaptability. What if DMac is out for a must win match, are they still only going to bring their best first five and playmaker on late in the game? Trusting the game to someone who wasn’t even part of planning (they would have had Trask pinned in as Jacomb preseason). Perhaps if the Crusaders were better they would not have done this, but either way imo you take this opportunity to play a guy you might need starting in a final rather than having their 12th game getting comfortable coming off the bench.
1 Go to commentsThanks Brett.. At last a positive article on the potential of Wallaby candidates, great to read. Schmidt’s record as an international rugby coach speaks for itself, I’m somewhat confident he will turn the Wallaby’s fortunes around …. on the field. It will be up to others to steady the ship off the paddock. But is there a flaw in my optimism? We have known all along that Australia has the players to be very competitive with their international rivals. We know that because everyone keeps telling us. So why the poor results? A question that requires a definitive answer before the turn around can occur. Joe Schmidt signed on for 2 years, time to encompass the Lions tour of 2025. By all accounts he puts family first and that’s fair enough, but I would wager that his 2 year contract will be extended if the next 18 months or so shows the statement “Australia has the players” proves to be correct. The new coach does not have a lot of time to meld together an outfit that will be competitive in the Rugby Championship - it will be interesting to see what happens. It will be interesting to see what happens with Giteau law, the new Wallaby coach has already verbalised that he would to prefer to select from those who play their rugby in Australia. His first test in charge is in July just over 3 months away .. not a long time. I for one wish him well .. heaven knows Australia needs some positive vibes.
21 Go to commentsWhat a load of bollocks. The author has forgotten to mention the fact that the Crusaders have a huge injury toll with top world class players out. Not to mention the fact that they are obviously in a transition period. No this will not spark a slow death for NZ rugby, but it does mean there will be a new Super Rugby champion. Anyone who knows anything about NZ rugby knows that there is some serious talent here, it just isn’t all at the Crusaders.
3 Go to commentsI wouldn’t spend the time on Nawaqanitawase! No point in having him filling in a jersey when he’s committed to leave Union. Give the jersey to a young prospect who will be here in the future.
5 Go to commentsIt was a pleasure to watch those guys playing with such confidence. That trio can all be infuriating for different reasons and I can see why Jones might have decided against them. No way to justify leaving Ikitau out though. Jorgensen and him were both scheduled to return at the same time. Only one of them plays for Randwick and has a dad who is great mates with the national coach though.
53 Go to commentsBrayden Iose and Peter Lakai are very exciting Super Rugby players but are too short and too light to ever be a Test 8 vs South Africa, France, Ireland, and England, Lakai could potentially be a Test player at 7 if he is allowed to focus on 7 for Hurricanes.
7 Go to commentsPencils “Thomas du Toit” into possible 2027 Bok squad.
1 Go to commentsDon’t see why Harrison makes the bench. Jones can play at 10 if needed, and there is a good case for starting her there to begin with if testing combinations. That would leave room for Sing on the bench
1 Go to commentsWhat a load of old bull!
1 Go to commentsOf the rugby I’ve born witness to in my lifetime - 1990 to date - I recognize great players throughout those years. But I have no doubt the game and the players are on average better today. So I doubt going back further is going to prove me wrong. The technical components of the game, set pieces, scrums, kicks, kicks at goal. And in general tactics employed are far more efficient, accurate and polished. Professional athletes that have invested countless hours on being accurate. There is one nation though that may be fairly competitive in any era - and that for me is the all blacks. And New Zealand players in general. NZ produces startling athletes who have fantastic ball skills. And then the odd phenomenon like Brooke. Lomu. Mcaw. Carter. Better than comparing players and teams across eras - I’ve often had this thought - that it would be very interesting to have a version of the game that is closer to its original form. What would the game look like today if the rules were rolled back. Not rules that promote safety obviously - but rules like: - a try being worth 1 point and conversion 2 points. Hence the term “try”. Earning a try at goals. Would we see more attacking play? - no lifting in the lineouts. - rucks and break down laws in general. They looked like wrestling matches in bygone eras. I wonder what a game applying 1995 rules would look like with modern players. It may be a daft exercise, but it would make for an interesting spectacle celebrating “purer” forms of the game that roll back the rules dramatically by a few versions. Would we come to learn that some of the rules/combinations of the rules we see today have actually made the game less attractive? I’d love to see an exhibition match like that.
29 Go to commentsIrish Rugby CEO be texting Andy Farrell “Andy, i found our next Kiwi Irishman”
5 Go to commentsI certainly don’t miss drinking beers at 8am in the morning watching rugby games being played in NZ.
1 Go to commentsThis looks like a damage limitation exercise for Wales, keeping back some of their more effective players for the last 20/25 minutes to try and counter England’s fresh legs so the Red Roses don’t rack up a big score.
1 Go to commentsVery unlikely the Bulls will beat Leinster in Dublin. It would be different in Pretoria.
1 Go to commentsI think it is a dangerous path to go down to ban a player for the same period that a player they injured takes to recover. Players would be afraid to tackle anyone. I once tackled my best friend at school in a practice match and sprained his ankle. I paid for it by having to play fly-half instead of full-back for the rest of that season’s fixtures.
5 Go to commentsJust such a genuine good bloke…and probably the best all round player in his generation. Good guys do come first sometimes and he handled the W.Cup loss with great attitude.
2 Go to commentsWord in France is that he’s on the radar of a few Top14 clubs.
5 Go to commentsGet blocking Travis, this guy has styles and he’s gonna make a swift impact…!
1 Go to comments