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'That was bloody tough': Inside Michael Fatialofa's miracle recovery journey
Everyone is now acutely aware how one event irreversibly changes life in an instant. Expand that same feeling out to a lifetime of change, and only then can you begin to grasp Michael Fatialofa’s daily struggles.
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Through all the pain, the constant mental battles, loneliness and fear, Fatialofa’s positive progress from a freak rugby spinal injury continues to inspire; to show what is possible with faith and inner drive to improve each day. He is proof that resilience alone can help overcome seemingly insurmountable obstacles.
Some 133 days into his fight to regain the use of his limbs, a powerful lesson exists in Fatialofa’s willpower for us all.
Viral videos of Fatialofa’s recovery – dubbed a miracle by doctors – have uplifted the world during coronavirus-induced lockdowns. Just this week he walked two kilometres – an impossible notion a matter of months ago.
Yet his road ahead remains long, and fraught.
In this revealing interview, Fatialofa details the successes and stark realities attached to his terrifying injury.
Four months ago, Fatialofa suffered a C4 vertebrae fracture and spinal contusion during a routine collision while carrying the ball into contact, one minute after coming onto the field in an English Premiership match between Worcester and Saracens.
The 27-year-old, Super Rugby title-winning lock with the Hurricanes in 2016, spent four weeks in London’s St Mary’s Hospital – three in intensive care.
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Having signed with a Top 14 club for the following 2021/22 season, Fatialofa went from scheduling French lessons with newly-wedded wife, Tatiana, to being told he was likely to be wheelchair-bound for life, such is the extreme nature of his injuries.
“I had just signed to play in France for the next few years. We thought we had everything planned but then this thing happened so there’s a lot of uncertainty in the future now,” Fatialofa says from the Royal Buckinghamshire Hospital, a specialist spinal care unit. “You hear about this stuff happening, but you never think it will happen to you. When it happened I was in total shock.”
Lying next to gunshot victims, some of whom Fatialofa heard take their last breaths, there were days in intensive care where he relived his plight all over again.
“I had really bad neuropathic pain and they would give me all these drugs so I would have a little sleep and I’d wake up and forget it had happened. I would go to move and I would start panicking.”
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Filth ?pic.twitter.com/UfLTcOKR9S
— RugbyPass (@RugbyPass) May 17, 2020
While in intensive care, Tatiana stayed by Fatialofa’s side. He enjoyed frequent visits from other family, friends and former teammates; Sam Lousi, Loni Uhila, Victor Vito, Matt Proctor, Willis Halaholo and Worcester players among them.
Initially unable to move from the shoulders down, Fatialofa could not eat or talk as the invasive surgery went through his throat, damaging his vocal cords. He was told to eventually prepare for a raspy Darren Lockyer-like voice.
“The boys would come through and I couldn’t say anything. I was in pain so I would just lay there. They came around me and talked to each other so it was comforting hearing their voices.”
Essential nutrients were funnelled through a nasal tube which led to a build-up that created a nasty stench.
“I still get whiffs of that smell and it puts me off.”
Post-surgery Fatialofa lost 12 kilograms – falling from 120 to 108kg. At that stage, he had to be hoisted everywhere.
“I couldn’t do anything for myself. I had an itch on my face and I’d want to scratch it but I couldn’t. I had to have a one-on-one nurse for that month.
“Your pride takes a hit because you can’t do anything. Every little thing someone else has to do for you. You have to learn to let go and realise how it had to be. That was bloody tough.”
Daily visitors surrounding Fatialofa’s bedside have since faded to memories.
The Covid-19 pandemic has even ceased close contact with Tatiana, leaving Fatialofa to push on with exhaustive rehab largely alone.
“Seeing everyone made it a lot easier but now I have to do it by myself. It gets tough some days with that uncertainty. With this type of injury, you don’t know what the end result is.”
A gaggle of 50-to-60-year-old men, many of whom stroke patients, offer light relief outside podcasts and music escapes.
“The crowd here is older. They all want to hear rugby stories and they share life lessons. There’s some funny yarns. Some of them have led pretty cool lives.”
The inspiring part of Fatialofa’s recovery is his ability to walk again so soon – yet even that process requires the strength to rise from regular falls. The big toe on his left foot remains paralysed, which can lead to it dragging by the end of the day, and the hip flexor on the same side causes issues too.
Balance and mobility have, however, improved more than medical professionals predicted it ever would.
“It’s getting better but a couple of weeks ago a little gust of wind would have sent me over.”
Four hours of physio, occupational therapy and pool sessions each day takes its toll but these repeat, sustained efforts are, clearly, paying off as he seeks to gradually regain strength and endurance.
“I’m making lots of progress. I’m pretty much walking unassisted now. They still don’t fully trust me on my own so I walk with one crutch outside but in the hospital I’m hobbling around which is pretty cool.
“It was uncertain there for a while if I was going to be in a wheelchair for life so I’m grateful for that.
“I have my days where I don’t feel like doing it. Coming from a rugby background I know how to grind things out. I always turn up to my sessions and do my best even if I’m not really feeling it.”
Many obstacles remain, however.
“You see people with spinal cord injuries but don’t really realise until you’re in it how it affects your internal organs.”
These include the bowel, bladder and body heat functions – damage often sustained by severe car crash victims.
“Heaps of stuff like that has been tough. My sensation, I touch things and it doesn’t feel the same anymore. There’s a reduced sensation all over.
“I’m been struggling with my hands and arms a bit. I’m still pretty early in my recovery and I’ve achieved a lot but there’s still so much to go. I know it’s going to be a lifetime thing of constant rehab. That’s where I’m at.
“I’m doing all this rehab and I don’t know if I’m going to get my hands back. It’s a tug of war every day in my mind, but I’ve got a good support crew.”
Rugby is slowly getting back to some form of normality in NZ. https://t.co/NklVhEMix5
— RugbyPass (@RugbyPass) May 17, 2020
Through the dark moments, Fatialofa’s Christian faith pushes him to further defy the odds. While proud of the remarkable steps he’s made, there is no overwhelming sense of achievement yet.
“I’m quite tough on myself – I’m always striving for the next thing. When I look back a couple of weeks I can say I can do things now I was praying for.
“I didn’t want to be a burden on my family and have to be taken care of every day.”
As walking improves, worries about his upper body persist with a recent push up attempt bringing him down to earth.
From putting on shoes to clothes, menial tasks so often overlooked take Fatialofa so much longer to achieve. Naturally this process evokes frustration having led such an active, explosive previous existence. Staying patient is easier said than done.
“There’s still that desire in me that I’m not happy with where I’m at and I want more.
“Being confined to a hospital for so long and now with this Covid situation I’m going a little bit crazy in here but I know if I grind out this initial period well then in the long term it will be beneficial.”
Fatialofa’s world shifted overnight from the rugby to the spinal community.
In the immediate aftermath of the incident he was humbled as messages flooded in from European clubs and New Zealand Super Rugby teams.
Attention then turned to seeking advice from others in similar positions. Now he has regained the use of his right thumb, Fatialofa is intent on returning the favour.
“There’s a community of people with spinal injuries. They’re the only ones that really know what I’m going through. Being able to pick their brains for tips has been really helpful.
“It’s been out of my comfort zone to have a spinal injury that was well known but now it’s happened I’ve been trying to use what I’ve learnt to help other people that are going through it.
“Every time I see a message I always try and reply and give them a bit of information or help.”
Reminiscing over his rugby journey that started as a Waitemata junior before progressing to Mount Albert Grammar, Southland, Ponsonby, where he made good on a promise to All Blacks legend Sir Bryan Williams who first spotted him at a Bill McLaren tournament, through to Auckland, the Hurricanes and Worcester, Fatialofa cherishes the camaraderie above all else.
“Rugby was just a bit of fun. I know I’ll miss hanging out with the boys.”
Holding a grudge against the sport would only seem natural but Fatialofa shrugs off any sense of resentment. He is instead grateful for the support from the respective player bodies in England and New Zealand, and to those who continue to donate through his JustGiving page, with those funds contributing to rehab costs that will long stretch on.
Once released from the spinal care unit Fatialofa plans to use the Worcester facilities and physiotherapists before returning to his family home in Te Atatu, west Auckland, by the end of the year.
In many ways his inspiring, resilient journey that offers hope to many has merely begun.
“The cards have been dealt, but I’m just trying to make the best of it now.”
Comments on RugbyPass
Hope he stays as believe he can do a great job.
1 Go to commentsMake what step up? Manie has a World Cup winner’s medal around his neck and changed the way the Springboks can play. He doesn’t have anything to prove to anyone. The win record of the Boks with him in the team is tremendous. Sacha can be wonderful and I hope he has a very succesful Bok career, but comparing him to Manie in terms of the next Bok flyhalf is very strange. Manie is the incumbent (not the next) and doing pretty incredibly.
1 Go to comments00 😍 U
1 Go to commentsSabbaticals have helped keep NZ’s very best talent in the country on long term deals - this fact has been left out of this article. Much like the articles calling to allow overseas players to be selected, yet can only name one player currently not signed to NZR who would be selected for the ABs. And in the entire history of NZ players leaving to play overseas, literally only 4 or 5 have left in their prime as current ABs. (Piatau, Evans, Hayman, Mo’unga,?) Yes Carter got an injury while playing in France 16 years ago, but he also got a tournament ending injury at the 2011 World Cup while taking mid-week practice kicks at goal. Maybe Jordie gets a season-ending injury while playing in Ireland, maybe he gets one next week against the Brumbies. NZR have many shortcomings, but keeping the very best players in the country and/or available for ABs selection is not one of them. Likewise for workload management - players missing 2 games out of 14 is hardly a big deal in the grand scheme of things. Again let’s use some facts - did it stop the Crusaders winning SR so many times consecutively when during any given week they would be missing 2 of their best players? The whole idea of the sabbatical is to reward your best players who are willing to sign very long term deals with some time to do whatever they want. They are not handed out willy-nilly, and at nowhere near the levels that would somehow devalue Super Rugby. In this particular example JB is locked in with NZR for what will probably (hopefully) be the best years of his career, hard to imagine him not sticking around for a couple more after for a Lions tour and one more world cup. He has the potential to become the most capped AB of all time. A much better outcome than him leaving NZ for a minimum of 3 years at the age of 27, unlikely to ever play for the ABs again, which would be the likely alternative.
1 Go to commentsJake White talks more sense than anything I've read in the last 5 years. Hope someone's listening.
9 Go to commentsThe Springboks tried going down the road of only picking home-based players and it was an unmitigated disaster in 2016 and 2017. Picking overseas-based players has been one of the main reason the Boks have done so well since 2018, not only because of the quality Rassie could call on, but because of the knowledge and experience those players brought into camp from England, France and Japan. With some of the big names playing abroad it also gave younger players in SA the chance to break through at franchise level. Would we have seen the emergence of a Ruan Nortje if RG and Lood were still at the Bulls? Not so sure. I understand why Jake would want to block players leaving since his job depends on good results but it’s an approach that would take Bok rugby back to the bad old days and no South African wants to see that.
9 Go to commentsExeter were thumped by 38 points. And they only had to hop on a train.
39 Go to commentsI am De Groot.
1 Go to commentsHad hoped you might write an article on this game, Nick. It’s a good one. Things have not gone as smoothly for ROG since beating Leinster last year at the Aviva in the CC final. LAR had the Top 14 Final won till Raymond Rhule missed a simple tackle on the excellent Ntamack, and Toulouse reaped the rewards of just staying in the fight till the death. Then the disruption of the RWC this season. LAR have not handled that well, but they were not alone, and we saw Pau heading the Top 14 table at one stage early season. I would think one of the reasons for the poor showing would have to be that the younger players coming through, and the more mature amongst the group outside the top 25/30, are not as strong as would be hoped for. I note that Romain Sazy retired at the end of last season. He had been with LAR since 2010, and was thus one of their foundation players when they were promoted to Top 14. Records show he ended up with 336 games played with LAR. That is some experience, some rock in the team. He has been replaced for the most part by Ultan Dillane. At 30, Dillane is not young, but given the chances, he may be a fair enough replacement for Sazy. But that won’be for more than a few years. I honestly know little of the pathways into the LAR setup from within France. I did read somewhere a couple of years ago that on the way up to Top 14, the club very successfully picked up players from the academies of other French teams who were not offered places by those teams. These guys were often great signings…can’t find the article right now, so can’t name any….but the Tadgh Beirne type players. So all in all, it will be interesting to see where the replacements for all the older players come from. Only Lleyd’s and Rhule from SA currently, both backs. So maybe a few SA forwards ?? By contrast, Leinster have a pretty clear line of good players coming through in the majority of positions. Props maybe a weak spot ? And they are very fleet footed and shrewd in appointing very good coaches. Or maybe it is also true that very good coaches do very well in the Leinster setup. So, Nick, I would fully concurr that “On the evidence of Saturday’s semi-final between the two clubs, the rebuild in the Bay of Biscay is going to take longer than it is on the east coast of Ireland”
11 Go to commentsWhat was the excuse for the other knockout blowouts then? Does the result not prove the Saints were just so much better? Wise call to put your eggs in one basket when you’ve got 2 comps simultaneously finishing.
39 Go to commentsReally hope Kuruvoli and his partner rock the Canes.
1 Go to commentsI wonder what impact Samson has had on their attack, as the team seems less prone to trundle it up the middle, take the tackle and then trundle it up again. I lost faith in the coach last year as the Rebelss looked like a 2nd/3rd rate South African team. I also disliked Gordon standing back, often ignored as the forward battle went on and on. Maybe its our Aussie way of not getting off our A***’s until the enemy is at the gate.
86 Go to commentsThanks for the write up. Great to see the Rebs winning, I am a little interested in how they will go against the remaining kiwi teams, I think they’ve only played Hurricanes and Highlanders but how great to see these players performing!! I also see Parling has a job beyond June 30! A good move by RA? Also how do you fix the Rebels previously scratchy defence?
86 Go to commentsbe smart - go black
13 Go to commentsNext week the Crusaders hopefully have Scott Barrett back. Will be great to have the captain back. Hopefully he will be the All Black captain as well.
12 Go to commentsExciting place to be for the young fella. I expected he was French Polynesian when I saw him included in the France 6N squad (after seeing him in NZs), and therefor be strong grounds we might loose him to rugby down here. Good, in that he is good enough to warrant such a profile, and from a journalism’s fan interaction aspect, to finally get a back ground story on the fella. Hope he has settled into NZ OK and that at least one rugby country will fit with him to help his development, which, if so, he should surely continue for a few years, and then that he can experience France to it’s fullest with a bit more maturity and less reliance on family than you would have at his current age. A good 3 or 4 years before he would be ready for International duty if he wanted to wait. Of course he already sounds good enough to accept a call up, and to cap himself, in the more immediate future (he’d have to be very very good in the case of the ABs), and he’ll get a great taste of that being with the Canes who have a bunch who are just a few years further into their career and looking likely Internationals themselves.
13 Go to commentsI remember towards the end of the original broadcasting deal for Super rugby with Newscorp that there was talk about the competition expanding to improve negotiations for more money - more content, more cash. Professional rugby was still in its infancy then and I held an opposing view that if Super rugby was a truly valuable competition then it should attract more broadcasters to bid for the rights, thereby increasing the value without needing to add more teams and games. Unfortunately since the game turned professional, the tension between club, talent and country has only grown further. I would argue we’re already at a point in time where the present is the future. The only international competitions that matter are 6N, RC and RWC. The inter-hemisphere tours are only developmental for those competitions. The games that increasingly matter more to fans, sponsors and broadcasters are between the clubs. Particularly for European fans, there are multiple competitions to follow your teams fortunes every week. SA is not Europe but competes in a single continental competition, so the travel component will always be an impediment. It was worse in the bloated days of Super rugby when teams traversed between four continents - Africa, America, Asia and Australia. The percentage of players who represent their country is less than 5% of the professional player base, so the sense of sacrifice isn’t as strong a motivation for the rest who are more focused on playing professional rugby and earning as much from their body as they can. Rugby like cricket created the conundrum it’s constantly fighting a losing battle with.
9 Go to commentsOh wow… “But as La Rochelle proved in winning in Cape Town this season, a cross-continental away assignment need not spell the end of days.” La Rochelle actually proved quite the opposite. After traveling to Cape town and back they (back-to-back and current champs) got mercilessly thumped the next week. If travel is not the reason, why else would a full-strength powerhouse like La Rochelle get dumped on their @r$e$ one week later?
39 Go to commentsYou know he can land a winning conversion after the full time siren is up. (Even if it takes two attempts.)
5 Go to commentsA very insightful article from Jake. I would love to know how South African’s feel about their move to Europe. Do you prefer playing in Europe or want to go back to Super Rugby?
9 Go to comments