Six Nations mid-term report cards: England still on track for an A, but Wales must try harder
Lee Calvert dons his headmaster’s mortar board to give his Six Nations mid-term report to each of the squads.
ENGLAND
What’s going well? Elliott Daly, the defence, Jedi mind-tricking opposition into dropping the ball or missing touch, Eddie’s press conference trolling.
Needs more work: Scrum-half decision making, playing well for more than ten minutes at a time, understanding rules of rugby. Tom Wood’s entire hair strategy.
Effort: Started the tournament well in the face of some lost colleagues and they continue to try hard in all endeavours, particularly in defence. They are to be commended for never being afraid to ask questions about things they don’t understand even when it will cause them worldwide public embarrassment.
Achievement: Three wins is a fair reward for all their defensive efforts so far and the Grand Slam remains a possibility. However, they are no further on than a year ago in terms of their play and game awareness as displayed by the how incredibly flummoxed they were in the face of Italy doing something that required England players to actually think.
IRELAND
What’s going well? Connor Murray and Johnny Sexton remain the best half-back pairing in Europe
Needs more work: The back three containing the many inexplicable caps of Keith Earls, pound shop Zoolander Rob Kearney and the general shambles Simon Zebo. The lineout.
Effort: Ireland are a capable lot who let themselves down by not trying hard enough in the opening weekend against a Scotland team they were capable of beating. They have since knuckled down to the task at hand.
Achievement: Lost 1, won 2. After the defeat in Edinburgh they have casually trampled all over Italy and then taught France what something called a gameplan in the rain looks like.
SCOTLAND
What’s going well? The breakdown; Scotland’s back row is fully over the Dave Denton years and is looking destructive and canny again. Stuart Hogg continues to be ridiculous, and after years of stunted creativity, they suddenly can’t stop scoring tries.
Needs more work: Conceding tries is still an issue and the scrum is too often like a septic tank on wheels. Alex Dunbar’s comedy kicking out of hand.
Effort: While all teams try hard what is most heartening about Scotland is that they apply most of their effort to attack. It has paid off on one level in that opposition teams will have to score at least three tries to beat them. It has not paid off in that this still looks a likely outcome too often.
Achievement: Two great wins at home over Ireland and Wales. Their only loss was in France where the scrum problems were apparent but they also lost a number of players to injury. Had the injuries and related disruption not happened in Paris it is not outlandish to state that they could’ve been three from three going into the final two rounds.
WALES
What’s going well? Liam Williams, Ross Moriarty and Sam Warburton are showing well, beyond that the tournament is a bit like one of those YouTube epic fail compilation videos but with less laughter.
Needs more work: Selection, creativity, game plan, discipline, Alun Wyn Jones’ captaincy. Other than that it’s going fine for interim management buffoon Rob Howley.
Effort: Wales continue to try hard with limited ambition and nous, embodied in Ken Owens who deserves far more for his incredible efforts for his team than the dreck around him. Wave after wave of players running straight at a defence for no reward does, in fairness to the players, require a great deal of effort.
Achievement: Lost 2 against anyone decent, won 1 against Italy. Next up are Ireland and France, both of which present about as much hope for Wales fans as John Lacey correctly interpreting a scrum collapse.
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FRANCE
What’s going well? Louis Picamoles is a wrecking ball at eight and some va-va-voom is present in their play after the many years of hideousness under Phillippe Saint-Andre.
Needs more work: Gameplan, in that they don’t have one. That is unless you call repeatedly and aimlessly passing it laterally to the player next to you and saying “you have a go now” a gameplan.
Effort: There’s plenty of buzzing about and passing from the backs and the forwards are giving it plenty of wellie in the tight. But effort can only take you as far as your fitness allows and some of the French pack, in particular, look like they’ve escaped from fat camp on the first night.
Achievement: Bullied a victory at home against a depleted Scotland, ran a misfiring England close in the first week and were comprehensively out-thought and outplayed by Ireland. If you look beyond the odd flourish that’s been added, it could be argued that they remain a poor side.
Italy
What’s going well? Sergio Parisse as per usual, but also his back row partner Simone Favaro. Their ability to bamboozle the ruck.
Needs more work: Resilience. It all appears to be going well until they concede, after which their heads drop faster than aristocracy in the French Revolution. The continuing lack of selection of Michele Campagnaro in the centre. Luke McLean, who remains ever-present as the unflushable turd of Italian rugby.
Effort: They are fired up right up to the point they concede their first try, after that there are varying levels of effort from ‘can’t be arsed’ through to ‘if I have to.’ Apart from Sergio, who appears to be powered by a combination of unicorn dust and rocket fuel.
Achievement: Before that England match they looked to be having their worst year ever, before their ruck shenanigans gave them back a modicum of self-respect. However, they’ve still lost all three and there appears little chance this trend will change.
Comments on RugbyPass
The game was a quarter final, not a semi final. Barrett will be here for 6 months, he is no one's replacement at 13. That mantle will most likely ultimately go to Jamie Osborne, though Garry Ringrose has at least 4 more years in him. The long term problem position (in the next 3 years) for Leinster is tighthead prop, though there are a couple of prospects at schools level.
21 Go to commentsSo much for all that hype surrounding the ‘revival’ of Aussie rugby. The Blues were without the likes of regular starters Perofeta, Sullivan, Christie etc… This was a capitulation of the highest order by Australia’s finest. Joe Schmidt definitely has his work cut out for him.
2 Go to commentsYes they can ignore Sotutu. Like Akira Ioane plays OK at Super level but gets lost in tests. Too many chances too many failures.
2 Go to commentsA wallaby front-row of Bell, Blake and Tupou…now that would be hefty
1 Go to comments“But with an exceptional pass accuracy rating “ Which apart from Roigard is not a feature of any of the other 9s in NZ. Kind of basic for a Black 9 dont.you. think? Yet we keep seeing FC and TJ being rated ahead of him? Weird if it’s seen as vital to get our backline beating in your face defences.
1 Go to commentsThanks BeeMc! Looks like many teams need extra time to settle from the quadrennial northern migration. I think generally the quality of the Rugby has held up. Fiji has been fantastic and fun to watch
13 Go to commentsLets compare apples with apples. Lyon sent weak team the week before, but nobody raised an eyebrow. Give the South African teams a few years to build their depth, then you will be moaning that the teams are too strong.
41 Go to commentsDid footballs agents also perform the scout role at some time? I’m surprised more high profile players haven’t taken up the occupation, great way to remain in the game and use all that experience without really requiring a lot of specific expertise?
1 Go to commentsSuper rugby is struggling but that has little to do with sabbaticals. 1. Too many teams from Aust and NZ - should be 3 and 4 respectively, add in 2 from Japan, 1 possibly 2 from Argentina. 2. Inconsistent and poor refereeing, admittedly not restricted to Super rugby. Only one team was reffed at the breakdown in Reds v H’Landers match. Scrum penalty awarded in Canes v Drua when No 8 had the ball in the open with little defence nearby - ideal opportunity to play advantage. Coming back to Reds match - same scrum situation but ref played advantage - Landers made 10 yards and were penalised at the breakdown when the ref should have returned to scrum penalty. 3. Marketing is weak and losing ground to AFL and NRL. Playing 2 days compared with 4. 4. Scheduling is unattractive to family attendance. Have any franchises heard of Sundays 2pm?
12 Go to commentsAbsolutely..all they need is a chance in yhe playoffs and I bet all the other teams will be nervous…THEY KNOW HOW TO WIN IM THE PLAYOFFS..
2 Go to commentsI really hope he comes back and helps out with some coaching.
1 Go to commentsI think we are all just hoping that the Olympic 7s doesn’t suffer the same sad fate as the last RWC with the officials ruining the spectacle.
1 Go to commentsPersonally, I’ve lost the will to even be bothered about the RFU, the structure, the participants. It’s all a sham. I now simply enjoy getting a group of friends together to go and watch a few games a year in different locations (including Europe, the championship, etc). I feel extremely sorry for the real fans of these clubs who are constantly ignored by the RFU and other administrators. I feel especially sorry for the fans of clubs in the Championship who have had considerable central funding stripped away and are then expected to just take whatever the RFU put to them. Its all a sham, especially if the failed clubs are allowed to return.
10 Go to commentsI’m guessing Carl Hayman would have preferred to have stayed in NZ with benefit of hindsight. Up north there is the expectation to play twice as many games with far less ‘player management’ protocols that Paul is now criticising. Less playing through concussions means longer, healthier, careers. Carter used as the eg here by Paul, his sabbatical allowed him to play until age 37. OK its not an exact science but there is far more expectations on players who sign for Top 14 or Engl Prem clubs to get value for the huge salaries. NZR get alot wrong but keeping their best players in NZ rugby is not one of them. SA clubs are virtually devoid of their top players now, no thanks. They cant threaten the big teams in the Champions Cup, the squads have little depth. Cant see Canes/Chiefs struggling. Super has been great this year, fantastic high skill matches. Drua a fantastic addition and Jaguares will add another quality team eventually. Aus teams performing strongly and no doubt will benefit with the incentive of a Lions tour and a home RWC. Let Jordie enjoy his time with Leinster, it will allow the opportunity for another player to emerge at Canes in his absence.
12 Go to commentsLove that man, his way to despise angry little men is so funny ! 😂
5 Go to comments“South African franchises would be powerhouses if we had all our overseas based players back in situ. We would have the same unbeatable aura the Toulouses, Leinsters or Saracens of this world have had over the last decade or so.” Proof that Jake white does not understand the economics of the game in SA. Players earning abroad are not going to simply come back and represent the bulls. But they might if they have a springbok contract.
25 Go to commentsA lot of fans just joined in for the fun of it! We all admire O'Gara and what he has done for La Rochelle
5 Go to commentsThe RFU will find a way to mess this up as usual. My bet is there will be no promotion into the the Premiership, only relegation into National League One. Hopefully they won’t parachute failed clubs into the league at the expense of clubs who have battled for promotion.
10 Go to commentsWell that’s the contracts for RG and Jordie bought and paid for. Now, what are the chances we can persuade Antoine to hop over with all the extra dosh we’ll have from living at the Aviva & Croke next season…??? 🤑🤑🤑
37 Go to commentsWow, that’s incredible. Great for rugby.
37 Go to comments