It's Time to Call It: The Northern Hemisphere Is Better Than The Southern Hemisphere At Rugby Now

This weekend, Northern Hemisphere sides again dominated Southern Hemisphere sides. Hayden Donnell says it’s time to call it – the North is better overall right now.

Time travel back one rugby year.

The All Blacks had just won the World Cup. The Wallabies were runners up. England had done the rugby equivalent of setting themselves on fire and falling headfirst into a toilet. France had just had their entrails removed and sweetmeats harvested by New Zealand. Ireland were still Ireland. No Northern Hemisphere team made it past the quarter-finals.

Pity the North-dwelling rugby fans who died in the past year. Partly because they’re dead, but also because rugby’s power balance has shifted completely.

This weekend, England beat Argentina despite playing with 14 men for 75 minutes. It was the team’s 12th win in a row. Ireland beat the Wallabies after enduring an exhausting week of national mourning over one of its players being tackled in a normal fashion. Least surprisingly, Wales handily bested the Springboks – a side from South Africa once believed to be good at rugby union.

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Only the All Blacks carried the banner for the South, holding onto their title as the best side in the world. Even they struggled to overcome France though, who would’ve won if they’d executed 0.4% better near the New Zealand goal line.

It wasn’t even an out-of-the-ordinary weekend for the suddenly proficient powerhouses of the North. In November, Six Nations sides recorded eight wins and six losses against Rugby Championship teams. Many of the Southern Hemisphere victories were tightly contested. The Wallabies won their matches against Scotland and France by a total of three points all up.

Most Northern Hemisphere sides are unlikely to get worse anytime soon. England still has a young squad. Ireland has a supply of promising stars. The French seem to be playing with a level of confidence and skill they usually only reserve for Rugby World Cup knockout matches against the All Blacks. Even more terrifying for Southern fans, coaches like Joe Schmidt and Eddie Jones are likely to ensure their teams don’t lapse into traditional pants-wetting uselessness at big moments in test matches.

It may be time to admit the unthinkable: Northern Hemisphere rugby is better than Southern Hemisphere Rugby right now. May God have mercy on us all.

Other notes from the weekend’s internationals

This is what a real red card looks like

Forget Malakai Fekitoa’s head-high tackle against Ireland; this is how you get sent off in a test match.

Elliot Daly sent off for England after just 4 minutes 34 – a deserved red card? #ENGvARG https://t.co/2et7t1bnpJ

— Sporting Index (@sportingindex) November 26, 2016

Congrats Elliot Daly on a truly terrible decision.

Waisake Naholo will hurt you with his mid-air butt attack

Watch out.

Beauden Barrett’s cross-field kicks are incredible

For the second week in a row, Barrett was the only reason the All Blacks won. Most of the credit will go to his intercept try, which was probably worth 14 points given how close the French were to scoring. But spare a thought for the beautiful, lovely, perfect cross-field kick that set up the All Blacks’ first try. It was the second week in a row that the All Blacks had opened the scoring off a cross-field Barrett bomb. Last week, Fekitoa took the reception. This week, Savea reeled it in on the sidelines and delivered an assist to Dagg.

Every South African fan wants to fire Allister Coetzee

These are pulled from a selection of roughly 18,327 similar tweets.

Apparently possession means nothing

The All Blacks had about 4% of the total possession against France. Most the time, they treated the ball like a live grenade, lobbing it as far behind the French line as possible. They still won.

New Zealand also lost the possession battle against Ireland last week. It didn’t matter. The All Blacks win by seizing their opportunities better than any other side in rugby.

Will Genia is the saddest man in rugby right now

Someone needs to ask Will if he’s okay. And while you’re at it, check on Michael Cheika. He’s probably still ransacking the coaching box right now.