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'I was petrified' - Shane Williams opens up about struggles
Wales great Shane Williams has opened up with struggles after retiring from professional rugby on an appearance on The Big Jim Show, Jim Hamilton’s new podcast.
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A former World Rugby Player of the Year in 2008, Williams hung up his boots in 2015. The jet-heeled winger continues to work in rugby as an occasional broadcaster, but seven years on from his retirement he admits he’s found the transition incredibly hard.
“It’s been massively difficult,” he told Hamilton. “One of the things I worried about was going from a team environment, which I spent over 16 years in, where you are always with someone, to the realisation you have retired and it is you on your own. It is very daunting, very scary. I was petrified.
“It is frightening, it is hard and it took me a lot of time to adjust to. There were players in that team who I had played with for 10 years, lads who knew me better than I knew myself. All of sudden, they are gone.
“I certainly felt like a spare part [in family life],” he added. “You spend so much time trying to be good at something that is very unique. Then, when you are pretty good at that and people notice you it is a great place to be and I loved every minute of it.”
Williams earned 87 Wales caps and four British & Irish Lions caps but worried that he didn’t have any real world skills after concentrating for decades on being a rugby player.
“But when I retired I found I wasn’t that skilled at anything else. I felt I lost that importance. I’d played 87 times for Wales and on Lions tours and then on the Monday it was just this whole new world. Obviously being with the kids was great but I just thought ‘hold on, what else am I actually good at?’ I’d spent so long trying to be a very good rugby player, I thought ‘have I neglected everything else? What skills do I have? Am I even relevant to anyone anymore?’ That was in the space of a weekend.
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“I felt completely irrelevant for a long time until you find your feet. I have been retired a long time now and I still think sometimes ‘what am I doing? Are people thinking ‘you’re just a rugby player, what do you know in this life’. It is intimidating.”
The support of his wife Gail has proved vital for the 35-year-old.
“I’ve known Gail a long, long time,” he added. “We started going out when I was 18 and she was 17. She understands me really well. The rugby life was easy. I knew exactly what I was doing and she understood and she dealt with that. I think she was more nervous than I was when it came to the point of retirement. She knew how hard I had trained but we collectively looked at each other and thought ‘what happens here?’
“When I retired I kind of went into my shell a little bit because I was worried. I was worried about how me and Gail were going to be in a whole different world. She had been in my rugby world for over 15 years and now I was in the family and business life. It was very difficult for her. I was in the house for about three or four days after retiring and she just told me ‘you have to get out and do something’. I couldn’t relax, I couldn’t sit down. I was getting on her nerves.
“She is great. She has known me a long time and knows me better than I know myself. She has been so supportive. I am very lucky.”
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Williams, speaking as part of Mental Health Awareness Month, admitted that he had lost people to ‘suicide’.
“I have experienced lows and anxiety,” he said. “I have had times I have really struggled. The world is a scary place, no matter who you are, we all get frightened of things and anxious of things. I have friends who have suffered massively, especially during the pandemic.
“I have lost people over the years to depression, to suicide. It is something that affects us all and the important thing I have found when I have been down is just speaking to someone. It is really important it is addressed and everyone is OK.”
Comments on RugbyPass
Super rugby is struggling but that has little to do with sabbaticals. 1. Too many teams from Aust and NZ - should be 3 and 4 respectively, add in 2 from Japan, 1 possibly 2 from Argentina. 2. Inconsistent and poor refereeing, admittedly not restricted to Super rugby. Only one team was reffed at the breakdown in Reds v H’Landers match. Scrum penalty awarded in Canes v Drua when No 8 had the ball in the open with little defence nearby - ideal opportunity to play advantage. Coming back to Reds match - same scrum situation but ref played advantage - Landers made 10 yards and were penalised at the breakdown when the ref should have returned to scrum penalty. 3. Marketing is weak and losing ground to AFL and NRL. Playing 2 days compared with 4. 4. Scheduling is unattractive to family attendance. Have any franchises heard of Sundays 2pm?
7 Go to commentsAbsolutely..all they need is a chance in yhe playoffs and I bet all the other teams will be nervous…THEY KNOW HOW TO WIN IM THE PLAYOFFS..
2 Go to commentsI really hope he comes back and helps out with some coaching.
1 Go to commentsI think we are all just hoping that the Olympic 7s doesn’t suffer the same sad fate as the last RWC with the officials ruining the spectacle.
1 Go to commentsPersonally, I’ve lost the will to even be bothered about the RFU, the structure, the participants. It’s all a sham. I now simply enjoy getting a group of friends together to go and watch a few games a year in different locations (including Europe, the championship, etc). I feel extremely sorry for the real fans of these clubs who are constantly ignored by the RFU and other administrators. I feel especially sorry for the fans of clubs in the Championship who have had considerable central funding stripped away and are then expected to just take whatever the RFU put to them. Its all a sham, especially if the failed clubs are allowed to return.
9 Go to commentsI’m guessing Carl Hayman would have preferred to have stayed in NZ with benefit of hindsight. Up north there is the expectation to play twice as many games with far less ‘player management’ protocols that Paul is now criticising. Less playing through concussions means longer, healthier, careers. Carter used as the eg here by Paul, his sabbatical allowed him to play until age 37. OK its not an exact science but there is far more expectations on players who sign for Top 14 or Engl Prem clubs to get value for the huge salaries. NZR get alot wrong but keeping their best players in NZ rugby is not one of them. SA clubs are virtually devoid of their top players now, no thanks. They cant threaten the big teams in the Champions Cup, the squads have little depth. Cant see Canes/Chiefs struggling. Super has been great this year, fantastic high skill matches. Drua a fantastic addition and Jaguares will add another quality team eventually. Aus teams performing strongly and no doubt will benefit with the incentive of a Lions tour and a home RWC. Let Jordie enjoy his time with Leinster, it will allow the opportunity for another player to emerge at Canes in his absence.
7 Go to commentsLove that man, his way to despise angry little men is so funny ! 😂
4 Go to comments“South African franchises would be powerhouses if we had all our overseas based players back in situ. We would have the same unbeatable aura the Toulouses, Leinsters or Saracens of this world have had over the last decade or so.” Proof that Jake white does not understand the economics of the game in SA. Players earning abroad are not going to simply come back and represent the bulls. But they might if they have a springbok contract.
22 Go to commentsA lot of fans just joined in for the fun of it! We all admire O'Gara and what he has done for La Rochelle
4 Go to commentsThe RFU will find a way to mess this up as usual. My bet is there will be no promotion into the the Premiership, only relegation into National League One. Hopefully they won’t parachute failed clubs into the league at the expense of clubs who have battled for promotion.
9 Go to commentsWell that’s the contracts for RG and Jordie bought and paid for. Now, what are the chances we can persuade Antoine to hop over with all the extra dosh we’ll have from living at the Aviva & Croke next season…??? 🤑🤑🤑
14 Go to commentsWow, that’s incredible. Great for rugby.
14 Go to commentsYou probably read that parling is going to coach the wallaby lineout but if not before now you have.
14 Go to commentsIf someone like Leo Cullen was in O’Gara’s place I don’t hear Boo-ing. It’s not just that La Rochelle has hurt Leinster and O’Gara is their Irish boss. It’s the needle that he brings and the pantomime activity before the game around pretending that Munster were supporting LaRochelle just because O’Gara is from Cork. That’s dividing Irish provinces just to get an advantage for his French Team. He can F*ck right off with that. BOOOOO! (but not while someone is lying injured)
4 Go to commentsDid the highlanders party too hard before the game? They were the pits.
1 Go to commentsWhat a player! Not long until he’s in the England side, surely?
5 Go to commentsHe seems to have the same aura as Marcus Smith - by which I mean he’s consistently judged as if he’s several years younger than he actually is. Mngomezulu has played 24 times for the Stormers. When Pollard was his age he had played 24 times for South Africa! He has more time to develop, but he has also had time to do some developing already, and he hasn’t demonstrated nearly as much talent in that time as one would expect. If he is a generational talent, then it must be a pretty poor generation.
6 Go to commentsThe greatest Springbok coach of all time is entirely on the money. Rassie and Jacques have given the south african public a great few years, but the success of the springbok selection policy will need to be judged in light of what comes next. The poor condition that the provincial system is currently in doesn’t bode well for the next few years of international rugby, and the insane 2026 schedule that the Boks have lined up could also really harm both provincial and international consistency.
22 Go to commentsJake White is a brilliant coach and a master in the press. This is another masterclass in media relations and PR but its also a very narrow view with arguments that dont always hold water. White wants his team to win, he wants the best players in SA and wants his team competitive. You however have to face up to the reality of a poor exchange rate and big clubs with big budgets. SA Rugby cant compete and unless it can find more money SA players will keep leaving regardless of Springbok eligibility and this happened in 2015 - 2017. Also rugby is not cricket. Cricket has 3 formats and T20 cricket is where the money is at. When it comes to club vs country the IPL is king but that wont happen because the international calendar does not clash with the club calendar in rugby. So the argument about rugby going down the same path as cricket is really a non-starter
22 Go to commentsNZ rugby seem not to have learnt anything from professional rugby. Super rugby was dying and SA left before they died with the competition. SA rugby did a u turn on their approach to international players playing overseas and such players are now selected for Bok teams. As much as each country would love to retain their players playing in local competitions, this is the way the world is evolving my friends. Move with it or stay 20 years behind the times. One more thing. NZ rugby hierarchy think they are the big cheese. Take a more humble approach guys. You do not seem to have your players best interests at heart.
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