Select Edition

Northern Northern
Southern Southern
Global Global
NZ NZ

Ex-prop Alexander posts powerful thread on beating 'deep depression'

By Liam Heagney
Retiring Brumbies star Ben Alexander

Former Wallabies prop Ben Alexander has written a powerful twelve-tweet thread revealing that he became deeply depressed during the pandemic and explaining how he reacted to beat it. The ex-tighthead, who won 72 caps for his country between 2008 and 2014, retired from playing after participating in the 2018 Super Rugby tournament with the Brumbies.

ADVERTISEMENT

A Wallabies pick at the 2011 Rugby World Cup and for the 2013 series versus the British and Irish Lions, Alexander exited the game having already set up a prosperous pub business but the enforced lockdown in Australia affected his mental health and he has now opened up about the helpful measures he took to combat his deep depression.

“Twelve months ago, I was burnout from the pandemic impacting my pub and fell into a deep depression,” began the 38-year-old in his Twitter thread. “But fortunately, I recovered in three months. Here’s what I did: I accepted something had to change.

Video Spacer

Video Spacer

“I had been doing everything I could to look after my health and kept telling myself I was OK. But once I hit rock bottom, I realised I couldn’t keep going how I was going and had to accept that I didn’t have all the answers. I needed help.

“I told people I trust I was struggling. I told my wife and dad. I didn’t beat around the bush. I didn’t know how to get better, but I needed their help to figure out the next step. Which they did and reassured me that things would work out.

“I walked regularly with someone. At the same time each morning, I went for a walk with my dad and brothers and the combination of routine, fresh air and exercise made it easier for me to talk and get everything out that was inside my head. I did everything I could to get sleep.

“I think depression is when your brain runs out of energy, so I focused on doing what I could to recharge it. I cut coffee, sugar, alcohol, pulled back on work and watched NBA. All of which had me sleeping like a baby within days.

ADVERTISEMENT

“I got professional help. I reached out to the Brumbies and the team doctor made time to see me, even though he was busy and it had been years since I was his responsibility. The player welfare manager also made an appointment for me to see a psychologist. Thanks QB and Steve!

“I learned I had developed unhelpful patterns of thinking. With the help of the psych, I realised I was ruminating, catastrophising and worrying about things outside my control. All of which are wastes of energy and led to my depression. How you think impacts how you feel.

“I took medication. I was very hesitant to try these as I had heard stories of people becoming addicted. But once I was told I should look at them like a cast for a broken arm and only temporary, I gave them a go.

“I wouldn’t say they fixed things, but they played a part in my recovery and I took them for about six weeks. Finally, I went and did something new. Once I was feeling a bit better, I decided it was time for a change so I could learn some new skills.

ADVERTISEMENT

“The Dock no longer needed much of my attention, so I got a job at KPMG doing change management and haven’t looked back. Now I’m back at the Dock a day a week and sharing what I have learned from working at a Big 4 consultancy firm – and I’m the happiest I have been in ten years.

“Anyways, thought I’d write this for anyone out there who is struggling or knows someone doing it tough. Things will get better.”

ADVERTISEMENT

Join free

Aotearoa Rugby Podcast | Episode 6

Sam Warburton | The Big Jim Show | Full Episode

Japan Rugby League One | Sungoliath v Eagles | Full Match Replay

Japan Rugby League One | Spears v Wild Knights | Full Match Replay

Boks Office | Episode 10 | Six Nations Final Round Review

Aotearoa Rugby Podcast | How can New Zealand rugby beat this Ireland team

Beyond 80 | Episode 5

Rugby Europe Men's Championship Final | Georgia v Portugal | Full Match Replay

Trending on RugbyPass

Comments

Join free and tell us what you really think!

Sign up for free
ADVERTISEMENT

Latest Features

Comments on RugbyPass

T
Trevor 1 hours ago
Will forgotten Wallabies fit the Joe Schmidt model?

Thanks Brett.. At last a positive article on the potential of Wallaby candidates, great to read. Schmidt’s record as an international rugby coach speaks for itself, I’m somewhat confident he will turn the Wallaby’s fortunes around …. on the field. It will be up to others to steady the ship off the paddock. But is there a flaw in my optimism? We have known all along that Australia has the players to be very competitive with their international rivals. We know that because everyone keeps telling us. So why the poor results? A question that requires a definitive answer before the turn around can occur. Joe Schmidt signed on for 2 years, time to encompass the Lions tour of 2025. By all accounts he puts family first and that’s fair enough, but I would wager that his 2 year contract will be extended if the next 18 months or so shows the statement “Australia has the players” proves to be correct. The new coach does not have a lot of time to meld together an outfit that will be competitive in the Rugby Championship - it will be interesting to see what happens. It will be interesting to see what happens with Giteau law, the new Wallaby coach has already verbalised that he would to prefer to select from those who play their rugby in Australia. His first test in charge is in July just over 3 months away .. not a long time. I for one wish him well .. heaven knows Australia needs some positive vibes.

21 Go to comments
B
Bull Shark 5 hours ago
Jake White: Are modern rugby players actually better?

Of the rugby I’ve born witness to in my lifetime - 1990 to date - I recognize great players throughout those years. But I have no doubt the game and the players are on average better today. So I doubt going back further is going to prove me wrong. The technical components of the game, set pieces, scrums, kicks, kicks at goal. And in general tactics employed are far more efficient, accurate and polished. Professional athletes that have invested countless hours on being accurate. There is one nation though that may be fairly competitive in any era - and that for me is the all blacks. And New Zealand players in general. NZ produces startling athletes who have fantastic ball skills. And then the odd phenomenon like Brooke. Lomu. Mcaw. Carter. Better than comparing players and teams across eras - I’ve often had this thought - that it would be very interesting to have a version of the game that is closer to its original form. What would the game look like today if the rules were rolled back. Not rules that promote safety obviously - but rules like: - a try being worth 1 point and conversion 2 points. Hence the term “try”. Earning a try at goals. Would we see more attacking play? - no lifting in the lineouts. - rucks and break down laws in general. They looked like wrestling matches in bygone eras. I wonder what a game applying 1995 rules would look like with modern players. It may be a daft exercise, but it would make for an interesting spectacle celebrating “purer” forms of the game that roll back the rules dramatically by a few versions. Would we come to learn that some of the rules/combinations of the rules we see today have actually made the game less attractive? I’d love to see an exhibition match like that.

29 Go to comments
TRENDING
TRENDING England No8 Sarah Beckett banned after leg-breaking croc roll tackle England No8 Sarah Beckett banned after leg-breaking croc roll tackle
Search