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The IRB Six Nations is a superior sporting event to the NFL Super Bowl and Dan Johansson has conclusive evidence to back it up.
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This weekend, the biggest annual sporting contest on Earth kicks off again. Blood will be spilled, beer will be drunk, and out-of-shape couch potatoes across the land will decry the prowess of superhuman athletes with little to no sense of irony.
This weekend also plays host to the NFL’s Super Bowl, American Football’s answer to Wrestlemania (with more padding and less eyeliner).
Of course, one could say that the two are mutually exclusive and making comparisons is both impractical and redundant. But this is the internet damn it; nuance and rationality are not our strong suits, so here are some whimsical comparisons.
International Appeal
According to the BBC, 170 different countries are set to tune into Sunday’s broadcast of Super Bowl LI: “This Time It’s Personal” However, the Six Nations has almost 300 broadcast deals according to this handy pdf. Even though some of those involve multiple broadcasters in the same countries, I’m chalking this one up as a win for the egg-chasers.
Historic Rivalry
The Six Nations features the best sides Europe has to offer, battling it out not only for sporting supremacy, but for the opportunity to lord it over your nearest neighbours for another twelve months. And we in Europe love nothing better than dancing that precarious line between friendly banter and casual racism. Expect plenty of jokes about Welsh sheep-farmers, Irish functional alcoholism, sweaty socks, frogs and pizza, and a unifying core of how everyone hates the English.
What’s in a name?
This year’s Super Bowl features De’Vondre Campbell, Julio Jones, Vince Valentine and Dont’a Hightower. Wales have three players named Davies, three named Williams, two named Evans and two named Jones. Begrudgingly the Super Bowl wins this one.
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Red, White & Blue
The Super Bowl on the other hand has none of this international combative camaraderie. It’s as proudly American as apple pie or gun-barrel bacon, and that’s part of the appeal. It’s an over the top showcase of everything that we know and love about the USA. It’s jam-packed with gloss and glamour, explosions and excess and the winners get a jewel-encrusted ring and a new Hyundai.
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Music options
A short one this. The Super Bowl Half-Time show features the biggest global superstars of the entertainment world. They’re given the the GDP of a small country and told to shake that thang for our amusement. The Six Nations has 60,000 Welshmen singing Bread of Heaven. No contest.
Gender Gap
This year’s Women’s Six Nations will be the first to be televised in full, and slow progress is being made towards professionalism with England now boasting 38 players on professional contracts. The NFL on the other hand, sued the now-defunct National Women’s Football League into changing their name, and the only female representation associated with this year’s Super Bowl will be the cheerleaders and a Lingerie Bowl. The Six Nations wins by virtue of it being 20 bloody 17.
The Game Itself
The old saying goes that ‘soccer’ is 90 minutes of pretending you’re hurt, rugby is 80 minutes of pretending you’re not. And, according to the Wall Street Journal American Football is 11 minutes of playing sport and 174 minutes of pretending Lucky Charms form part of a delicious and nutritious breakfast, on sale now at a store near you!
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Padding & Protection
Much is made of American Football’s comparative abundance of protective gear, as if being dressed as a sofa makes much difference when a 7 foot behemoth weighing 18 stone runs through you like a train through soft cheese. Rugby players though are held together by sticky tape and a sheer determination to ignore all medical wisdom. “Oh my shoulder is dislocated, my leg broken and my jawbone currently being passed around the west stand as a pint glass? Hold on a second lads, I’ll just stick some tape on and get back in there”.
Keeping it simple
To an outsider, rugby is probably the simpler of the two games. 16 fat blokes wrestle the ball off one another and then chuck it to 14 little blokes who prance away with it. American Football on the other hand comprises of multiple subsets of teams performing intricate choreography all set to a soundtrack of confusing terminology and baffling statistics. It’s admittedly impressive that supporters can follow the play so well, considering that the most insightful analysis most rugby fans are able to offer their team is “HIT HIM!”.
Overall though, the Six Nations takes the edge by virtue of being easy enough to understand that you can be drunk when you watch it, as well as complicated enough that you can look down on people who don’t get it.
Summary
A clear win for the Six Nations here. The NFL may have the glitz and the profile, and they may have stolen Eddie Butler for the epic-voiceover department, but the tradition, the heated rivalries and the passion involved give the victory to rugby union. I’ll be watching both of course, but given a straight choice I’d take Dylan Hartley being bundled over the muddy try line in the pouring rain over a Tom Brady Hail Mary touchdown any day.
Comments on RugbyPass
Will rugbypass tv be showing these games?
1 Go to commentsWell where do you start, the fact that England have a professional domestic league and Ireland’s is fully amatuer, that they have fully seperated professional squads at Fifteens and Sevens (7’s thinly disguised as GB), and Ireland have fully pro Sevens squad who loan some players back to the Semi-Professional Fifteens squad (moved from amateur for only a year or so) for a few games at 6N & RWC’s. The Women’s games is a shambles, and is at risk of killing itself by pushing for professionalism when the market isn’t really there to support it outside one or two countnries..
2 Go to commentsWayne Smith's input didn't have as much impact on the last final as Davison's red card for Thompson. England were 14 points up and flying when that happened.
2 Go to commentsBilly's been playing consistently well for 2 - 3 seasons now and deserves a look in at the top level. Ioane and ALB are still first choice but there needs to be injury cover and succession. His partnership with Jordie gives him first dibs you'd think. Go the Hurricanes.
3 Go to commentsIt’s not up to Wales to support Georgian Rugby. That’s up to International Rugby and Georgia. I sympathise with Georgia’s decent attempt to create this fixture. But for Wales the proposed match up is just a potential stick to beat them with and a potential big psychological blow that young Welsh team doesn’t need. (I’m Irish BTW.)
2 Go to commentsCale certainly looks great in space, but as you say, he has struggled in contact. At 23 years old, turning 24 this year, he should be close to full physical maturity and yet there exists a considerable gap in the power and physicality required for international rugby. Weight doesn’t automatically equate to power and physicality either. Can he go from a player who’s being physically dominated in Super rugby to physically dominating in international rugby in 1 or 2 years? That’s a big ask but he may end up being a late bloomer.
28 Go to commentsIf rugby wants to remain interesting in the AI era then it will need to work on changing the rules. AI will reduce the tactical advantage of smart game plans, will neutralize primary attacking weapons, and will move rugby from a being a game of inches to a game of millimetres. It will be about sheer athleticism and technique,about avoiding mistakes, and about referees. Many fans will find that boring. The answer is to add creative degrees of freedom to the game. The 50-22 is an example. But we can have fun inventing others, like the right to add more players for X minutes per game, or the equivalent of the 2-point conversion in American football, the ability to call a 12-player scrum, etc. Not saying these are great ideas, but making the point that the more of these alternatives you allow, the less AI will be able to lock down high-probability strategies. This is not because AI does not have the compute power, but because it has more choices and has less data, or less-specific data. That will take time and debate, but big, positive and immediate impact could be in the area of ref/TMO assistance. The technology is easily good enough today to detect forward passes, not-straight lineouts, offside at breakdown/scrum/lineout, obstruction, early/late tackles, and a lot of other things. WR should be ultra aggressive in doing this, as it will really help in an area in which the game is really struggling. In the long run there needs to be substantial creativity applied to the rules. Without that AI (along with all of the pro innovations) will turn rugby into a bash fest.
24 Go to commentsSouth Africa rarely play Ireland and France on these tours. Mostly, England, Scotland and Wales. I wonder why
2 Go to commentsIt was a let’s-see-what-you're-made-of type of a game. The Bulls do look good when the opposition allows them to, but Munster shut them down, and they could not find a way through. Jake should be very worried about their chances in the competition.
2 Go to commentsHats off to Fabian for a very impressive journey to date. Is it as ‘uniquely unlikely’ as Rugby Pass suggests, given Anton Segner’s journey at the Blues?
1 Go to commentsSad that this was not confirmed. When administrators talk about expanding the game they evidently don’t include pathways to the top tier of rugby for teams outside of the old boys club. Rugby deserves better, and certainly Georgia does.
2 Go to commentsLions might take him on if they move on Van Rooyen but I doubt he will want to go back, might consider it a step backwards for himself. Sharks would take him on but if Plumtree goes on to win the challenge cup they will keep him on. Also sharks showing some promising signs recently. Stormers and Bulls are stable and Springboks are already filled up. Quality coach though, interesting to see where he ends up
1 Go to commentsAnd the person responsible for creating a culture of accountability is?
3 Go to commentsMore useless words from Ben Smith -Please get another team to write about. SA really dont need your input, it suck anyway.
264 Go to commentsThis disgraceful episode must result in management and coach team sackings. A new manager with worse results than previous and the coaching staff need to coached. Awful massacre led by donkeys.
1 Go to commentsInteresting article with one glaring mistake. This sentence: “And between the top four nations right now, Ireland, France, South Africa, and New Zealand…” should read: And between the top four nations right now, South Africa, Ireland, New Zealand and France…”. Get it right wistful thinkers, its not that hard.
24 Go to commentsHow did Penny get the gig anyway?
3 Go to commentsNice write up Nick and I would have agreed a week ago. However as you would know Cale & co got absolutely monstered by the Blues back row of Sotutu, Ioane and Papaliti and not all of these 3 are guaranteed a start in the Black jumper. He may need to put some kgs before stepping up, Spring tour? After the week end Joe will be a bit more restless. Will need to pick a mobile tough pack for Wales and hope England does the right thing and bashes the ABs. I like your last paragraph but I would bring Swinton, Hannigan into the 6 role and Bobby V to 8
28 Go to commentsThe Crusaders can still get in to the Play Off’s. The imminent return of outstanding captain Scott Barrett and his All Black team mate Codie Taylor will be a big boost.There are others like Tamaiti Williams too. Two home games coming up. Fellow Crusader fans get there and support these guys. I will be.
2 Go to commentsCant get more Wellington than Proctor.
3 Go to comments