LONG READ 'The French don’t understand Pollock is purposely playing the pantomime villain'

The French don’t get Henry Pollock. As someone who has lived in France for years, and is married to a Frenchwoman, I acknowledge that a sense of humour is very much part of the French character. But what they don’t have is the British tongue-in-cheek variety. Self-deprecation is not their forte.

You would never have a French player dressing up as Ruprecht! – as Neil Jenkins gloriously did during the 1997 Lions tour – or mocking himself in a pizza advert à la Tony Underwood.

A good example is Sebastien Chabal, ‘The Caveman’, who to the Anglo-Saxons was an amusing caricature but who in France was taken very seriously. Unfortunately, it all went to Chabal’s head and he got caught up in his own hype, to the point of being downright rude to journalists.

“May I ask you a question in English?” a journalist politely enquired of the Frenchman during a RWC 2007 press conference. “No, we are in France. We speak French,” replied the back-rower with a fierce glare, before walking brusquely away. If an English player had behaved in such a way, you can bet that the French press would have been up in arms at English arrogance.

France doesn’t understand that Pollock is purposely playing the pantomime villain. They think he’s up his own derrière, which is why there has been so much glee following Bordeaux’s stirring victory over Northampton in the Champions League final.

The French broadsheet, Le Figaro, described Pollock as an “enfant terrible” and said he had been schooled by the Bordeaux pack.

In its ‘Who’s hot and who’s cold?’ barometer column on Monday, Midi Olympique had the Saints’ loose forward in the cooler under the heading ‘Bad loser’. Not only had he been “discreet” during the game, but in the minutes after the final whistle he had “once again been inglorious” in provoking Jefferson Poirot.

European Professional Club Rugby took a different view of the incident and has cited Poirot for allegedly committing an “act contrary to good sportsmanship towards the Northampton Saints number 8, Henry Pollock”. The Bordeaux prop is charged with grasping the throat of the Englishman in “a way that was dangerous and had the potential to cause serious harm”.

As Fin Smith remarked wryly: “I’m surprised if you have just won a European Cup, the first thing you want to do is start a fight with a 20-year-old. I felt that was interesting.”

Pollock also had a run-in with Matthieu Jalibert, the Bordeaux fly-half, who later explained that he had felt the need to remind Pollock about respect. Seriously! This is the man who in 2021 ran onto the pitch from the replacements bench to mock a Castres opponent after a last-gasp try from Bordeaux. Jalibert later apologised saying: “Bantering on the pitch is part of the game, part of destabilization.”

It probably doesn’t help Pollock that he’s blond-haired and blue-eyed, the archetypal Englishman. Is it just my imagination or does he bear a passing resemblance to Laurence Olivier’s Henry V?

Pollock is of the same opinion. “I’m a wind up merchant,” he admits. But while some French rugby players dish it out, they’re not very good at taking it.

Remember how Brian Moore used to get under their skin? Once with a mischievous smile, the England hooker likened Les Bleus to ’15 Eric Cantonas’? That was a reference to the footballer’s volatility, not his sporting brilliance. It didn’t go down well with the French, who harrumphed about a lack of respect. It was a joke. Lighten up.

It probably doesn’t help Pollock that he’s blond-haired and blue-eyed, the archetypal Englishman. Is it just my imagination or does he bear a passing resemblance to Laurence Olivier’s Henry V?

Pollock is going to be around for a while so the French will have to get used to him. He’s unlikely to change. Mark Regan never did during his England career. The hooker was another of the game’s wind-up merchants, as Springboks counterpart John Smit acknowledged after England’s tour to South Africa in the summer of 2007. “He talked to me in two matches more than my wife has in 10 years!” quipped Smit.

Bordeaux were brilliant for 80 minutes in Cardiff but in letting themselves get wound up by Pollock, they let themselves down.

A few months later the two nations met in the final of the 2007 World Cup. Asked how he was preparing for another confrontation with Regan, Smit replied: “I’ve brought my wife over this week so I can get some practice in.” Smit didn’t let Regan needle him because he knew it was all part of the game. There were players like Regan in South Africa, like the late James Small, a wing with attitude.

Bordeaux were brilliant for 80 minutes in Cardiff but in letting themselves get wound up by Pollock, they let themselves down.