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9 of the best responses to the haka - and four cultural ideas for Gatland's Lions

By James Harrington
Haka time

As Warren Gatland’s Lions prepare to face their first haka, James Harrington counts down nine epic moments from hakas past

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How do you respond to the haka? It’s a question that has stumped some of the finest rugby minds – and even more of its not-so fine minds – for years.

Some leave it to the crowd. England and Scotland both tried it in 2008 – the English faithful at Twickenham drowned out the ceremony with a lusty rendition of one line of Swing Low Sweet Chariot, while the Scottish fans at Murrayfield tried a Loch Lomond variation on the theme.

Here, we count down the nine best haka moments, from Willie Anderson’s tete-a-tete with Wayne Shelford in 1989, to Wales’s intense stare-down in 2008.

And, yes, Richard Cockerill’s in here, too.

9 The fightin’ Irish, led by Willie Anderson, were one of the first to give the stand-off thing a serious go in 1989

That was about as close as the Irish got to victory. It ended 23-6.

8 The Australians did their best to ignore it in 1996

Maybe they would have been better advised to pay attention. Because they upset their opponents. Who proceeded to put them to the sword. New Zealand won 43-6.

7 A year later, Richard Cockerill gave Norm Hewitt the “C’mon  – ‘ave a go” in his now-notorious one-man challenge

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It turned out not to be Cockers’ cleverest move. Norm did ‘ave a go. So did the other New Zealand players. And England lost 25-8.

6 On the same tour, Munster’s Kiwi quartet, led by Dougie Howlett, performed a pre-emptive haka

And the Thomond crowd lapped it up. It nearly worked, too, but New Zealand edged the game 18-16 at the death.

5 There must have been something about 2008, because on that same tour, Wales’ response came in the form of interpretive statuary

Be patient. The stand-off lasted so long that referee Jonathan Kaplan had to remind both sets of players what they were actually there to do.

Even after the reminder, Wales forgot that they still had to play a game of rugby and lost 29-9.

4 At the 2011 World Cup final, an effectively coachless France flicked an almighty Anglo-Saxon V at it

Aaaand… France nearly won.

3 In defence of the French, they’d done something similar at the previous World Cup

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And had won. 20-18.

2 And at Australia 2003, there was this New Zealand / Tongan war dance-off

Hairs. On. The. Back. Of. Your. Neck. For half a minute.

1 Not strictly a response, but this tribute to Anthony Foley from the Maori All Blacks before their match against Munster in November 2016 is an incredible moment

It’s been all-but forgotten amid the emotion of the moment, but Munster’s players – a ragtag army of the club’s second battalion and five Academy recruits stared them down. And, again, the packed Thomond Park crowd lapped it up. And then they were treated to something rather special, as Munster won 27-14

Of those nine responses, two actually worked – which is actually better than the rest of the rugby world’s win record against New Zealand, so there may be something in finding some way to accept the challenge. The trick is knowing what the best response is.

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Warren Gatland is answering culture with culture on this tour, with the tourists indulging in a spot of close-harmony singing, featuring songs from the four nations that make up the Lions squad.

But, on the pitch, the haka deserves something a little more physical. In keeping with the cultural aspect, here are four traditional responses – one from each of the countries that make up the squad.

From England: Morris Dancing

It’s definitely traditional. And definitely cultural. But even extreme morris dancing is grown men with bells on the their legs. And there’s always the risk of concussion.

From Scotland: Sword Dancing

Hairy-arsed forwards in rugby boots jumping daintily over a sharp object on the ground in front of them? What could possibly go wrong? Oh, and kilts… Danger there.

From Wales: Clog Dancing

Ummm…. Yeah.

From Ireland: Irish Dancing

Let’s go for broke. Complete with close-harmony singing, we give you…

Admit it, That would go down a storm at Eden Park. And we’re sure Sam Warburton could carry off that flowing silk shirt-and-mullet combo.

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Trevor 47 minutes ago
Will forgotten Wallabies fit the Joe Schmidt model?

Thanks Brett.. At last a positive article on the potential of Wallaby candidates, great to read. Schmidt’s record as an international rugby coach speaks for itself, I’m somewhat confident he will turn the Wallaby’s fortunes around …. on the field. It will be up to others to steady the ship off the paddock. But is there a flaw in my optimism? We have known all along that Australia has the players to be very competitive with their international rivals. We know that because everyone keeps telling us. So why the poor results? A question that requires a definitive answer before the turn around can occur. Joe Schmidt signed on for 2 years, time to encompass the Lions tour of 2025. By all accounts he puts family first and that’s fair enough, but I would wager that his 2 year contract will be extended if the next 18 months or so shows the statement “Australia has the players” proves to be correct. The new coach does not have a lot of time to meld together an outfit that will be competitive in the Rugby Championship - it will be interesting to see what happens. It will be interesting to see what happens with Giteau law, the new Wallaby coach has already verbalised that he would to prefer to select from those who play their rugby in Australia. His first test in charge is in July just over 3 months away .. not a long time. I for one wish him well .. heaven knows Australia needs some positive vibes.

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Bull Shark 4 hours ago
Jake White: Are modern rugby players actually better?

Of the rugby I’ve born witness to in my lifetime - 1990 to date - I recognize great players throughout those years. But I have no doubt the game and the players are on average better today. So I doubt going back further is going to prove me wrong. The technical components of the game, set pieces, scrums, kicks, kicks at goal. And in general tactics employed are far more efficient, accurate and polished. Professional athletes that have invested countless hours on being accurate. There is one nation though that may be fairly competitive in any era - and that for me is the all blacks. And New Zealand players in general. NZ produces startling athletes who have fantastic ball skills. And then the odd phenomenon like Brooke. Lomu. Mcaw. Carter. Better than comparing players and teams across eras - I’ve often had this thought - that it would be very interesting to have a version of the game that is closer to its original form. What would the game look like today if the rules were rolled back. Not rules that promote safety obviously - but rules like: - a try being worth 1 point and conversion 2 points. Hence the term “try”. Earning a try at goals. Would we see more attacking play? - no lifting in the lineouts. - rucks and break down laws in general. They looked like wrestling matches in bygone eras. I wonder what a game applying 1995 rules would look like with modern players. It may be a daft exercise, but it would make for an interesting spectacle celebrating “purer” forms of the game that roll back the rules dramatically by a few versions. Would we come to learn that some of the rules/combinations of the rules we see today have actually made the game less attractive? I’d love to see an exhibition match like that.

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