Super Rugby Power Rankings: Why the Hira Bhana Spud Man is smiling this week
If the Spud Man is happy, Scotty Stevenson is happy; if Scotty Stevenson is happy, the Super Rugby Power Rankings are happy. Unless you’re the Rebels or the Force.
1. Chiefs (N/C)
Nothing seen in Round 5 can convince me the Chiefs deserve a demotion from the number one spot. They return to action this week with a home game against the Bulls, who were torn to shreds by the Blues in the second half last week. The Chiefs’ offload game (they throw the most in the competition) will only compound the Bulls’ issues on defence. Another thing to note: In the last ten years the Chiefs have gone 11-5 post-bye week. In that time they have never been defeated by a South African team – home or away – following the bye. The Bulls have won only once against the Chiefs away from home.
2. Hurricanes (N/C)
The Hurricanes deserved a break last week after tiring themselves out during try celebrations. It is a closely-guarded rugby secret that the best way to get your GPS numbers up is to come sprinting from halfway to give a teammate a pat on the ass or some gentle, loving frottage to reward them for scoring. No one likes joining a try celebration more than Brad Shields who, by the way, is playing the house down. And gives a great cuddle.
3. Crusaders (up 1)
There is something to admire about a team that concedes six straight scrum penalties five metres out from their own goal line and then wins the seventh by crushing the opposition front row into the dirt at an angle that would give Pythagoras a headache. Given the Crusaders spent Friday beating up on the Force (last week’s bottom-ranked team in the Power Rankings) we are not prepared to anoint them as champions-in-waiting just yet. We will give them this: they are playing relentless full-press footy, like they used to. When they won titles.
4. Lions (up 2)
The Lions got over their loss to the Jaguares by completely humiliating the Kings in front of twelve people at Nelson Mandela Bay Stadium. Mandela was actually in prison with more people than turned up to watch this game. Not that the Lions cared. The Lions are everything they were last year with an added bonus feature: they have now completely disregarded the penalty goal as a scoring option. The Lions have won a pace-setting 44 penalties inside the opposition half, and have taken just six shots at goal. That’s ridiculous. In a great way.
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5. Stormers (down 2)
It took the Stormers the best part of 60 minutes to hit the front against the Sunwolves in Singapore last weekend which does make you wonder what is going to happen to this team against bigger, more clinical sides. They won’t have to worry about that this weekend. They have the Cheetahs. No one has ever accused the Cheetahs of being clinical. The Stormers are 4-0 and they deserve credit for that. And before you say it, yes, their conference is one of the great punchlines of Super Rugby, but you can’t blame them for that. The Stormers are posting an average 630 running metres per game. We still can’t figure out how this is happening.
6. Jaguares (down 1)
I swear the Jaguares have all been told that if they lose the ball they will lose a finger. The Jags are leading the competition in ruck retention this season and have also committed the fewest turnovers in 2017. This is not because they are playing 80 minutes of pick and go either – they are a playoff level team in all the key attack stats. As mentioned last week their set piece stinks. But when you’re playing against 13 blokes it hardly matters.
7. Sharks (up 2)
Another close win for the Sharks over the weekend sees them stretch to 4-1 to start the season, which is a stat that comes with a polite round of applause rather than a standing ovation. Rarely have ‘Sharks’ and ‘game of the round’ been mentioned in the same sentence over the last few seasons but the Cheetahs match was entertaining stuff. One thing the Sharks will do is take the points when they are on offer. They lead all teams in penalty goals per match, which has proved the difference in tight situations.
8. Highlanders (N/C)
This team is as gritty as beach sex. If holding out the late charging Blues at Eden Park a couple of weeks ago wasn’t impressive enough, the Landers then go and put the screws on the Brumbies in Canberra with a typically stingy second half that would have warmed a Scottish Presbyterian’s heart. The Highlanders still can’t find a way to open the throttle on their attack (only the Rebels and the Reds have scored fewer points per game) but that still seems to be down to their own turnover rate, which went up again on the weekend.
9. Blues (up 1)
The Hira Bhana Spud Man cannot wipe the smile off his face this week. That’s because A) he is a mascot with a permanently happy face, and B) the Blues won, and won well. If the first half against the Crusaders was an entrée, the second half against the Bulls was a great main course. Collins, Duffie and Nanai all looked assured and excited in the backfield, and the Blues defence is standing tall, posting the lowest missed tackle number in the competition. The confidence-boosting properties of that win at QBE cannot be underestimated, but there are still many rivers to cross. Everyone is better for a Jimmy Cliff reference, and the Blues will be better for the visit from the All Blacks’ scrum coach Mike Cron this week.
How about that pick up from Melani Nanai on Saturday for @BluesRugbyTeam? #class pic.twitter.com/Uq6mAmETxo
— Auckland Rugby (@AucklandRugby) March 26, 2017
10. Brumbies (down 3)
Nope.
11. Bulls (N/C)
We said last week that it didn’t look good for the Bulls. It still doesn’t look good for the Bulls.
12. Cheetahs (N/C)
If the Cheetahs had 15 Raymond Rhules then I would be a massive fan. Raymond Rhule has a great name and very happy feet. His 156 running metres for the Cheetahs last week was outstanding. Though given the fact the Cheetahs don’t seem to want to kick the ball, Raymond probably has no choice but to run it. I would probably kick the ball more if I were the Cheetahs. They have the worst ruck percentage in the competition.
13. Waratahs (N/C)
Bernard Foley is the…What? He’s out again? Oh Dear God.
14. Reds (N/C)
Okay, here’s the thing about the Reds. The Reds have zero discipline. The Reds are an oversized classroom of rambunctious toddlers jacked up on E-numbers on a rainy day. They have conceded the most penalties of any team, conceded the most breakdown penalties of any team (while winning the fewest), and posted the worst card record of any team. Amazingly, they have also been awarded 30 penalties inside the opposition half and have kicked a grand total of 8 penalty goals, none from more than 39 metres out.
15. Rebels (N/C)
Oh come on! I want to get behind the Rebels, I really do. For 40 minutes the Rebs played the kind of rugby they want to play, which was great for the fans and for devotees of the Dumper McGahan Coach heart rate monitor. Then they promptly started planning a celebratory night out in Little Collins Street and bottled the second half in spectacular fashion.
16. Sunwolves (N/C)
Still trying.
17. Kings (N/C)
The Kings have a 23-year old beast of a loosie in Anidisa Ntsila. Be like Anidisa, Kings, be like Anidisa.
18. Force (N/C)
Last week one correspondent asked how the Force could be ranked below the Sunwolves. The Crusaders probably answered that.
Comments on RugbyPass
Except for the injured Zach Gallagher this would be Saders best forward pack for the season. Blackadder needs to stay at 7, for all of Christies tackling he is not dominant and offers very little else. McNicholfullback is maybe a good option, Fihaki not really upto it, there was a reason Burke played there last year. Maybe Havilli to 2nd five McLeod to wing. Need a strong winger on 1 side to compliment Reece
1 Go to commentsTo me TJ is clearly the best 9 in the competition right now but he's also a proven player off the bench, there's few playmaking players who can come off the bench as calm and settled as he is, Beauden can, TJ can and I doubt any of the scrumhalves in contention can, if they want to experiment with new 9s I want him on the bench ready to step in if they crumble under the pressure. The Boks put their best front row on the bench, I'd like to see us take a similar approach, the Hurricanes have been doing similar things with players like Kirifi.
33 Go to commentsROG has better chance to win a WC if he starts training and make himself eligible as a player. He won’t make the Ireland squad but I reckon he may get close with Namibia (needs to improve his Afrikaans) or Portugal. Both sides had 1000:1 odds to win the RWC in 2023 which is an improvement on ROG’s odds of winning a RWC as a coach. Unlike Top 14 teams, national teams can’t go shopping and buy the best players - you work with the available talent pool and turn them into world beaters.
2 Go to commentsthat backline nope that backline is terrible why would you have sevu Reece when he’s not even top 5 wingers in the comp why have Blackadder when there’s better players no Scott barret isn’t an automatic the guy is more of a liability than anything why have him there when you have samipeni who’s far far better
33 Go to commentsAh, good to find you Nick. Agree with everything about Cale. So much to like about his game
49 Go to commentsNot too bad. Questions at 6, lock and HB for me. The ABs will be a lot stronger once Jordan and Roigard return. Also, work needs to be made to secure Frizzell back for next season and maybe also Mo’unga; they’re just wasting time playing in japan
33 Go to commentsOn the title, i wonder for many of those people it is a case something like a belief in working smarter, not harder?
1 Go to commentsForget Sotutu. One of those whose top level is Super Rugby. Id take a punt on Wallace Sititi Finau ahead of Glass body Blackadder.
33 Go to commentsI’m a pensioner so I've been around a bit. My opinion of SBW is he is an elite athlete and a great New Zealander and roll model. He has been to the top and knows what he's talking about. To all the negative comments regarding SBW the typical New Zealand way, cut that tall poppy down.
17 Go to commentsI'm not listening to a guy moralise over others when this is the guy who walked out mid season on Canterbury RLFC when he had a contract with them, what a hypocrite. Those praising him are a joke.
17 Go to commentsI’d put Finau at 6 instead of Blackadder but that’s the only change I’d make. Can’t wait to see who Razor picks.
33 Go to commentsTamati Williams, Codie Taylor, and Same Cane? Not sure about Hoskins Sotutu at test level. Wasn’t that impressive last season. Need a balance between experience and talent/youth.
33 Go to commentsInteresting insight. Fantastic athlete, and a genuine human being.
17 Go to commentsThey played at night in Suva last weekend and it’s an afternoon game forecast for 19 degrees in Canberra this weekend. Heat change is a non issue.
1 Go to commentsWishing Rosie a speedy recovery
1 Go to commentsObscene that SA haven’t been knocking
1 Go to commentsChances of Blackadder being injured seem too high to give him serious consideration. ABs loosie combination finally looked good with 2 committed to tackling and clearing rucks in the centre and Ardie roaming. Hoskins/Ardie together would force one of them into where they don’t excel and don’t get to use their talent, or require a change in tactics. If we continue to evolve last years systems I would take Papali’i and Finau at 6 and 7 (conceding that Blackadder will be injured) and Ardie at 8.
33 Go to commentsArdie’s preferred position 7? Where do they get these writers from? I've no idea where he's playing in Japan, but the previous two seasons he wore the 7 jersey exactly twice.
17 Go to commentsNot good to hear Ulster described as “financially troubled”. Did not think it was getting to that level. I would hope the Irish system of spreading players of talent away from Leinster would kick in now. Better to have a Leinster fringe player with Ulster or Connacht, then getting only a few games a season in Dublin. 10, for example, would seem to be a case for spreading the talent. I would not be at all adverse to a SA man coming in as head coach/DR. Ludeke is worth trying. Certainly got a long and impressive coaching career at this level…..149 games in SR, then Japan, 30 years experience. And Ulster’s ledger of successful SA coaches and players is on the positive side. Is talk of Ruan Pienaar interested in coming back as a coach…..could be a good combination with Ludeke. And Pienaar and family would have no settling in to do, one would judge. He loved life in Ulster when there, by all reports.
1 Go to commentsSome thoughts to consider here, Sam. Thanks
2 Go to comments