Rugby takes a back seat: a wild ride in Buenos Aires
We’re sitting in our rental car in the heaving streets of Buenos Aires, trying to get to Velez Sarsfield Stadium. There’s a couple of hours to go before the All Blacks play the Pumas, and it’s getting a little tense because the police have blocked off the one road we know will get us to the stadium. The detour has caused us to loop around, through a teeming suburb of low-rise concrete and acrid fumes.
The car contains the entire New Zealand media contingent. There’s five of us – Ross, Warren, Nigel, Hamish and myself. You couldn’t get a more Kiwi group of names this side of a Heartland Championship team sheet. None of us can speak more than a few words of Spanish.
So far we’ve made it to the highway underpass, and traffic isn’t moving. It’s incredibly noisy, horns are honking and locals waving blue and white flags are already clogging up the road.
From up on the highway, I hear a voice scream: ‘Putos!’ – one word I do know, and it’s not good. A can comes flying down and lands near the car. I look up and see a stream of buses carrying local football fans to a fixture nearby hurl abuse and debris at us, which is unsurprising.
But, by now, nothing is surprising. I’ve only been in Buenos Aires for 72 hours and have already experienced how seriously they take football, as well as eating, driving like absolute maniacs and listening to ‘Despacito’. And to top it off, we’re all hungover.
The day before started early, with a trip out to Club Atletico River Plate’s training facility for a sponsor event that a few All Blacks are attending. The event itself, where the players kicked some footballs around and showed a few of the River team how to kick a rugby ball, was just a sedate interlude between the most terrifying car rides I’ve ever experienced. Our driver, in his mid-60’s, averaged a speed of around 140 km/h up and down the highway in his Toyota Corolla. On the way back we had the benefit of tucking in behind the All Blacks’ police escort, so he could go even faster. However, we weren’t the only ones with that idea. Plenty of regular folks tried to butt in on the path cleared by the blaring police bikes, so the whole journey was like something out of Mad Max.
Jumping in behind the All Blacks' police escort. So it's totally fine to be doing 140. #JamieOnTour #ARGvNZL @RugbyPass pic.twitter.com/ZRHUn0LhkK
— Jamie Wall (@JamieWall2) September 29, 2017
Later that day we attended the captain’s run at San Isidro RC, a team that was formed by a group of players banned from another club for taking off their pants during an after match function in 1935. Kieran Read dropped some humour for the first time all season, responding to a reporter’s response about the progress of him learning Spanish. He said that he knew how to say ‘please mind the doors’, which showed that the most attention he’s paid to the local language was examining the sign on the inside of a lift.
The All Blacks’ media management invited us out for dinner later on. We were joined by glamorous ESPN journalist Agostina LaRocca, but I ended up down the other end of the table talking politics with Justin Marshall. After that exceptionally unforeseen turn of events, fellow former All Black Jeff Wilson began trash talking me into playing basketball against the Sky TV team in the morning. I’m pretty certain he’d confused me with someone else, but his assessment that I was rubbish at hoops was fairly accurate.
It didn’t help that we’d all drank a few too many bottles of Malbec, either. The next day, River Plate let us use one of the basketball courts underneath Estadio Monumental for a surprisingly intense encounter. My head was throbbing and luckily I ended up on Wilson and Marshall’s team, so I spent the entire game passing them the ball. We ended up winning, after which I promptly went back to my hotel and fell asleep.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BZqpMSMnmIo/?taken-by=jamiewall22
After a few hours of shut-eye, we piled into the rental car and began the journey out to Estadio Jose Amalfaltani and end up under the overpass. I make a joke about the football fans hurling abuse and whatever else at us, but no one responds. Everyone’s a little bit seedy after the big night before, plus we don’t know where we’re going to leave the car. However, after crawling through traffic and language barriers, we manage to secure a park right out front of the stadium.
There’s three hours till kick off and the place is already heaving. Sirens blare as the All Blacks bus pulls up, and crowds of kids mob the pavement to get a glimpse of the players. I go and check out a fan zone around the back of the stadium, which is full of kids and families in their local club colours.
The stadium itself is old school. As in, medieval old school. 10 metre high fences separate the terraced ends from the field, with a moat topped with barbed wire for good measure. The whole place looks like it last had a paint job in the late ‘80’s, but the internet connection is pretty good so we can’t complain.
The game comes and goes fast. There is no clock or way to hear the referee, so we have to guess what infringements are occurring. The All Blacks’ early onslaught deadens the atmosphere, so by halftime the passionate roars that accompanied the Argentine anthem have given way to polite clapping. Versions of Despacito are played over the PA before, during and after the game.
36-10 and a regulation win for the All Blacks. Glitter flies everywhere as the All Blacks lift the Rugby Championship trophy for the 15th time. Read has had an eventful night: scoring two tries and ending up in the sin bin, but the real highlight is another moment of castellano comedy at the press conference. His one word answer to a longwinded question in Spanish has us laughing out loud for the first time all season in a post match presser, during the Lions series they were particularly tense.
Afterwards the Newshub guys are filing their story. The rest of us nervously wait in the now empty carpark as a group of guys drink and rip their trail bikes up and down the street nearby. It’s almost a relief when we get back to the insanity of the highway system that takes us back to the city.
We go our separate ways into the night. I take a taxi back to my hotel, the driver gruffly asked me: ‘Inglaterra?’
‘No, no amigo…Nova Zelândia.’
‘Ah, es OK!’
With that reminder that Anglo-Argentinean relations still haven’t quite gotten over the Falklands War, I endure one more crazy car ride through the dark streets of Buenos Aires. However, this time with an added bonus commentary by the driver about the relative promiscuity of Argentine and New Zealand women.
A couple of months ago I wrote about how I’d never experience anything like the Lions tour again. I was wrong, this was pretty much all of that packed into three days.
The rugby is the last thing I’m going to remember about this trip, though.
– Jamie traveled to Buenos Aires courtesy of Toki Services Rugby Academy – building relationships, and developing coaches and players. Check them out on Facebook HERE.
Comments on RugbyPass
The Chiefs definitely didn’t win ugly. They had the superior scrum, a dominant lineout, and their defence was excellent once the Waratahs scored their two tries (thanks to some lucky refereeing calls mind you). They put pressure on the Waratahs lineout throughout the game, and the mind boggles as to why the referee did not award a yellow card or a penalty try against the Waratahs for repeated scrum infringements on their own try line before Narawa’s first try. And the Chiefs were slick with their passing and running angles on attack. It was a dominant performance all round, even with many questionable refereeing decisions.
1 Go to commentsWasnt late. Ref 2 assistants andTMO all saw it so who are you to say it was?
3 Go to commentsAre the Brumbies playing the Blues twice in a row?
3 Go to commentsBig difference from the Saders. Forwards really muscled up and laid a solid platform. Scooter brought some steel and I liked the loosie combination. Newell has been rather disappointing this season but stepped up big time - happy also to see Franks dot down. He should do that more often! Reihana had a good game and there seems to be more flair and invention with him in the saddle. McNicoll plays well from the back and is reliable plus inventive when he joins the line. Keep it up chaps!
3 Go to comments🤦♂️🤣 who cares who’s the best . All I know is the All Blacks have the star coach but have few star players now …
30 Go to commentsJe suis sûr que Farrell est impatient de jouer avec Lopez et Machenaud et d’être entraîné par Collazo… 🤭
1 Go to commentsAn on field red (aka a full red) in SRP must surely carry a bigger suspension than a red card given by the bunker as that carries a 20 minute team punishment. Had Damon Murphy abdicated his responsibility as a ref and issued both Drua players a yellow, which would have been upgraded to a 20 minute red by the bunker, that would have killed Australia and New Zealand’s push for the 20 minute red to be trialled globally from July this year.
11 Go to commentsEver so often you all post a Danny Care story that isn’t the announcement that he has finally re-signed for one more, victory tour season at Quins and I’m just like, “well you fooled me again!” My absolute favorite player ever, we need to make his final year at the Stoop (and Twickers) official already. I know he supposedly snubbed France but I won’t feel better until he signs.
1 Go to commentslate hit what late hit it wasn’t at all late and can clearly see he was committed before the tackle
3 Go to commentsChristian Lio -Willies 2 try perfomance was a standout. As was captain Scott Barrett. Up front was where the boys won it.They are a great team and players. Fantastic Crusaders , you can keep going.
3 Go to commentsI don't know how the locals feel about that? I guess if you call yourselves the Worcester Wasps that might be appease. But really we need more teams in the Premiership in my view so they are not padding it out as they are at the moment. It might curtail so many players going abroad as well
5 Go to commentsNZ 😭😭😭is certainly rivaling England for best whingers cup!😭😭😭 !!!
30 Go to commentsYup. New Zealand won 3 out of 10 world cups played. SA 4 out of 8 attempts 30 Vs 50 per cent.🤔🤔
30 Go to commentsShould've done this years ago. Change Saturday kick off times to around 11am. Up and off and back home before 3pm, limit travel time too. Allows players to actually do something else with their Saturday that's family oriented or being rugby fans they could ‘watch’ pro rugby. Increases crowds etc. How can anyone that enjoys grassroots and pro rugby have to choose between the two on Saturdays?
9 Go to commentsI bet he inspired those supporters just as much.
1 Go to commentsBen Smith Springboks living rent free in his head 😊😂
67 Go to commentsGood to hear he would like to play the game at the highest level, I hadn’t been to sure how much of a motivator that was before now. Sadly he’s probably chosen the rugby club to go to. Try not to worry about all the input about how you should play rugby Joey and just try to emulate what you do on the league field and have fun. You’ll limit your game too much (well not really because he’s a standard athlete like SBW and he’ll still have enough) if you’re trying to make sure you can recycle the ball back etc. On the other hard, you can totally just try and recycle by looking to offload any and everywhere if you’re going to ground 😋
1 Go to commentsThis just proves that theres always a stat and a metric to use to justify your abilities and your success. Ben did it last week by creating an imaginary competition and now you did the same to counter his argument and espouse a new yardstick for success. Why not just use the current one and lets say the Boks have won 4 world cups making them the most successful world cup team. Outside of the world cup the All Blacks are the most successful team winning countless rugby championships and dominating the rankings with high win percentages. Over the last 4 years statistically the Irish are the best having the highest win rate and also having positive records against every tier 1 side. The most successful Northern team in the game has been England with a world cup title and the most six nations titles in history. The AB’s are the most dominant team in history with the highest win rate and 3 world cups. Lets not try to reinvent the wheel. Just be honest about the actual stats and what each team has been good at doing and that will be enough to define their level of success.
30 Go to commentsHow is 7’s played there? I’m surprised 10 or 11 man rugby hasn’t taken off. 7 just doesn’t fit the 15s dynamics (rules n field etc) but these other versions do.
9 Go to commentsPick Swinton at your peril A liability just like JWH from the Roosters Skelton ??? went missing at RWC
14 Go to comments