Laura Delgado: 'It was a bitter end for me, but I will always be Leona number 181'

A Matar! (roughly translated as “To Kill!”)

Don’t be scared by these words, as it is something I say to my teammates before we take the field. Or, rather, I should now say ‘it was something I used to say’, as I have officially retired from the Spanish national team.

Although it didn’t personally end the way that I wished, I am genuinely proud of my team. We showed our passion, our ‘garra’ and heart to the whole world – by ‘garra’ I mean Lioness grit and fighting spirit. We were able to showcase who the Leonas are, and I hope we have inspired more than a few youngsters to follow their hearts.

It has been a World Cup of not only breaking records and milestones but also shattering glass ceilings. We have shown that rugby isn’t just a game or a sport; it is much more than that. The women’s game can inspire anyone. Women’s rugby can reach new audiences, and it has to do with our honesty and transparency. There are no masks, no acting or pretending to be someone else.

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We have nothing to hide; we can show who we are, and that’s why the game is special.

It was a bitter end for me and Anna Puig. Last week was incredibly hard and painful, knowing I wouldn’t have the chance to retire from my Test match career while still playing. To have played my last game without knowing it was the last one.

However, at the same time, I felt the strong and warm embrace of many. The number of messages I got in those last days before the Japan fixture was unexplainable. My phone kept buzzing with more people giving me love or sharing positive thoughts.

It still hurts, and I still feel angry at how it ended. But I got to enjoy those last few days with teammates who have shared their stories and lives with me for a long time. It reminded me that my role goes beyond that of being a player. I am much more than that. And while I still feel angry about what happened, I hope it will be a push to prevent it from happening again, for the others who will come next, for those who stay behind.

A chapter of my life ended, but the door will always remain open. I will always be the Leona number 181. Laura Delgado Dueñas ‘Bimba’ will forever be Spain women’s number 181. Laura Delgado, who played 53 caps, who was the captain of her country and team that I love with all my heart, soul and strength. And what an honour it was to be captain of a team that never gave up, that kept fighting, that kept clawing their way back into the biggest tournament of the sporting world.

It isn’t easy to speak about the game, and I still haven’t watched the replay. It was a day of mixed emotions. From climbing the York Community Stadium stands with people giving me strength and wishing me well, to seeing my face being shown on the stadium’s big screen. It was tough for me not to be inside the pitch and to have to witness my team’s final 2025 World Cup game from the stands.

I wanted so much that my last hurrah was while playing the game that has made me who I am. I want coaches to understand that we aren’t robots, that we have feelings, that when they break our spirits, we can’t perform.

What happened to me and Anna hurt and angered my team and teammates. I tried to battle against those feelings, but we can’t just unplug our emotions.

Offering false hope by telling a player she is the ‘soul of the team’ and then disregarding her isn’t the way to go. It isn’t the way to deal with athletes; it doesn’t matter if they are amateur, semi pro or fully professional.

When they announced the team, I felt that I had just been pushed from a seven-story building. It broke me, and it especially broke me to a new level, because it wasn’t done in an honest way.

Thankfully, the game is progressing, and the majority of staff from other countries and nations are working honestly and openly.

But a chapter has closed, and because of the fans, former players, friends, teammates and my sisters, I was able to leave York and the World Cup with a smile. When Anna, Mónica Castelo, and I received those flowers and people came to share their love, it broke my sadness.

It was good for us to finish like that, because even after such a complex and emotional week we never stop being a team and a family, and we kept backing ourselves up, as Leonas do.

Myself, Mónica Castelo and Anna Puig were able to say goodbye to the Leonas together, and, at least, that makes me happy. Sharing my final Test match days with two friends who shared the same journey was special.

It isn’t an ‘adiós’. Goodbye.
It is a ‘hasta luego’. See you later.
It is a ‘Huntas! Con Energia y… A MATAR!’

With all the love of someone who had the chance to be called a Leona,
Laura ‘Bimba’ Delgado Dueñas