Laetitia Royer column: 'I am ready to be fully myself in the PWR Final'

You can feel emotion creeping into people’s voice when they talk about the Premiership Women’s Rugby Final now. They want to win it. They want to go for the W. We’re going to step up. It is just right for Saracens to win it.

There is a lot of emotion. Every leader wants to talk more. Every leader wants to say more things.

Personally, I’ve had some small injuries this season and I have been mainly focused on managing all that. That has really been the story of my season. Before the Christmas break I had only made three appearances in PWR. Now I feel more asserted in the team. I won’t be finishing this season on a personal low.

I want to close this chapter, this season, on a high and regain the confidence of playing at the highest level. Even then, I spent our Round 18 win against Trailfinders Women at the side of the field with a quad strain. That is the reason I was pulled off at the beginning of the second half against Exeter Chiefs in the play-off. Now I am ready to be fully myself in the Final.

This weekend at the Twickenham Stoop we are playing a Trailfinders team that are difficult to gauge. When we last played them, we won 80-14. A week later in their 29-26 semi-final win against Gloucester Hartpury, they had brought back their main players and made 14 changes to their starting line-up.

They have key players. Individuality that we need to look for. With our game plan, it is not really about them that much. Sunday is more about doing the things we said we’d do. Making the little tweaks in some areas of our game. We didn’t execute our game plan against Exeter in the play-off. We want to execute it this weekend.

Everyone from our team was watching the final few minutes of the Chiefs game I could sweat. My heart was pounding. It really was not fun to watch. People were grinding their teeth. It was super emotional.

It was definitely not the best game we have played this season. There was no real rhythm to it. We didn’t stick to the game plan. Compared to our previous 160 minutes of rugby against Exeter in PWR this season this game was really close. In February we beat them 45-7. In the semi-final we won 40-38. We had errors to manage and to win things a bit differently.

They [Exeter] did not pause. They were doing what they usually do. They did not recreate their style of rugby in one game. They are just really consistent with what they do. We missed a lot of opportunities. The score should have reflected a bigger difference. We made it hard for ourselves, I guess.

Even if you had asked me if we felt comfortable after Jess Breach’s second try – which did win us the game – the answer would have been, no. Even in those last two minutes we re-lost possession. We were just on our tip-toes the whole time. That moment showed we were performing well. It was a relief, but I didn’t believe we were in the final until the final whistle.

It felt like a real celebration at full-time too. It had been a good week for Saracens anyway with Liv Apps having been named Player of the Season at the Rugby Awards. Her growth in the XVs game has been amazing. But not just as a player, as a leader. She is also the kindest human.

More than just that, it is so good to see a Canadian be recognised in that way. It shows that we are adding value. We cannot play at home, but awards like that show that it is worth giving a shot to a Canadian in PWR.

Aside from Gloucester Hartpury, every play-off team had a Canadian in it. Gally [Claire Gallagher] was easily the best player on the field for Trailfinders at ‘Queensholm’. At Exeter, DaLeaka [Menin] is so valuable to what they do that they played her in the eight with Maddie Feaunati injured.

Claire probably didn’t play as much as she wanted at the Women’s Rugby World Cup last year. Neither did I, so I know exactly how she felt, but it is a real credit to her attitude that she kept her head down. Now she has really shown up for her team when it counts. The more my career goes on, the more I value that attitude. It is something that I want to emulate on a daily basis.

In total Trailfinders have five Canadian players in contention for selection this weekend. Six at the club overall if you include Julia Schell. It will be unusual going up against them, but then again, they are in the same boat with us. At Sarries we have a house full of Canadians. There are seven of us here. It is great to represent Canada like that. Even if we are in different jerseys.

This Sunday will be the end of an era at Sarries too. Marlie Packer has been part of this club for nine years. She will be great for Harlequins next season. I know that because of the attitude she has shown from the moment she knew she was leaving us. She puts the girls first in everything. She keeps the standards so high. There is absolutely no slack.

We went to a barbeque at hers and Rosie’s [Galligan] place not so long ago. They will enjoy themselves at Quins and probably stick around for some time. She is not the kind of person to cut corners. She’s going to give her whole heart on the pitch. Always. This weekend she will do that for Saracens. For the final time.

It is not that hard to say what result we want on Sunday. We want to win. That is pretty simple. The other week, when we talking ahead of the Chiefs game, we were talking about throwing the first punch and not reacting to them. We want to impose ourselves off the bat. We have been a bit too reactive this season. We want to show them what’s up.

Honestly, we want to consume Trailfinders with a tsunami of Saracens shirts right from the first minute. Personally, I want to be the first person to land one of those big hits. I want to impose myself on everything that we do and have a truly dominant performance.

If we can dominate from the very first minute, have a big impact – it would not necessarily make the game easier – but could set us up for success. See you Sunday.