In Defence of Michael Cheika, the Least Boring Man in Rugby
Michael Cheika is always getting hassled for his passionate outbursts. Hayden Donnell argues the Wallabies coach is good for the game.
Michael Cheika blasted one of his players for being an idiot last weekend. Will Skelton could have cost Australia the match against Scotland after earning a late yellow card, and his coach had feelings about it, telling media, “He doesn’t have to do it. We had our own penalty, it’s after the whistle and it wasn’t clever”. It was a more direct quote than just about any Robbie Deans has given in his career, and it was probably the least interesting thing Cheika has said in weeks.
The foul-mouthed Wallabies coach is a rugby anomaly. Many of the game’s top figures are aggressively boring. The greatest player of all time, Richie McCaw, spent 16 years giving interviews without actually saying anything. Most current international captains follow his patented media model. Coaches are little better. All Blacks mastermind Steve Hansen may be a fence post posing as a human. Newly assigned Lions coach Warren Gatland could be the most miserable man in the world. Every shot of his coaching box is like a sneak peek into the centre of hell.
And that’s saying nothing of John Mitchell.
There aren’t many scandals for fans to get worked up about either. Whereas league is awash in borderline criminal administrators, hotel corridor shitters, and bubbling incidents, union is monastic by comparison. People praise its sedate culture, saying it shows the game is more dignified than its boozed-soaked, perpetually horned up Australian cousin. But there’s a downside to being good: you can be dull. There’s a shortage of stuff to get worked up over in rugby – no material for terrible memes or angry Facebook debates with VB-encrusted men.
Enter Michael Cheika. While most of his peers dance around anything that might be even loosely defined as “interesting”, he openly rants about everything from “bitterly disappointing” refs to his paralysing fear of clowns. When we get a look inside his commentary box, he’s nearly always letting off a string of obscenities so foul they’d be illegal in most countries.
When the camera’s not on him, he indulges in extreme violence against doors. Lately he’s expanded his routine into training, breaking his shoulder after being struck by a flying Israel Folau in training.
For his services to entertainment, Cheika is forced to endure a flood of devastating zingers and owns. He gets called “fragile” by the Sydney Morning Herald. Hassled repeatedly over his clown shame by the NZ Herald. The truth is those newspapers should be constructing gold statues of the Australian coach next to the desks of their rugby writers. Cheika is the only thing saving them from another week desperately trying to convince their subscribers to spend 10 minutes reading about Ryan Crotty being a “cerebral” player or how sides “shouldn’t underestimate” their next opponent.
Maybe he’s not the best coach ever. Maybe he’s doomed to spend the rest of his international coaching career watching his side getting wasted by the All Blacks. But wins are fleeting, gone in a week. In rugby, personality is a much rarer thing. Cheika needs to be treasured, along with his non-boring peers like David Pocock, Nigel Owens, Eddie Jones, Dylan Hartley, and the Hira Bhana Spudman.
So even if the Wallabies get caned by France, eviscerated by England, please don’t ramp up the calls to sack him. Cheika’s a character in a rugby landscape bereft of them. A bright spark in an ocean of lifeless sadsacks. The Wallabies need him. Rugby needs him. We need him.
Comments on RugbyPass
This is short sighted from Clayton if you ask me, smacks of too much preseason planning and no adaptability. What if DMac is out for a must win match, are they still only going to bring their best first five and playmaker on late in the game? Trusting the game to someone who wasn’t even part of planning (they would have had Trask pinned in as Jacomb preseason). Perhaps if the Crusaders were better they would not have done this, but either way imo you take this opportunity to play a guy you might need starting in a final rather than having their 12th game getting comfortable coming off the bench.
1 Go to commentsThanks Brett.. At last a positive article on the potential of Wallaby candidates, great to read. Schmidt’s record as an international rugby coach speaks for itself, I’m somewhat confident he will turn the Wallaby’s fortunes around …. on the field. It will be up to others to steady the ship off the paddock. But is there a flaw in my optimism? We have known all along that Australia has the players to be very competitive with their international rivals. We know that because everyone keeps telling us. So why the poor results? A question that requires a definitive answer before the turn around can occur. Joe Schmidt signed on for 2 years, time to encompass the Lions tour of 2025. By all accounts he puts family first and that’s fair enough, but I would wager that his 2 year contract will be extended if the next 18 months or so shows the statement “Australia has the players” proves to be correct. The new coach does not have a lot of time to meld together an outfit that will be competitive in the Rugby Championship - it will be interesting to see what happens. It will be interesting to see what happens with Giteau law, the new Wallaby coach has already verbalised that he would to prefer to select from those who play their rugby in Australia. His first test in charge is in July just over 3 months away .. not a long time. I for one wish him well .. heaven knows Australia needs some positive vibes.
21 Go to commentsWhat a load of bollocks. The author has forgotten to mention the fact that the Crusaders have a huge injury toll with top world class players out. Not to mention the fact that they are obviously in a transition period. No this will not spark a slow death for NZ rugby, but it does mean there will be a new Super Rugby champion. Anyone who knows anything about NZ rugby knows that there is some serious talent here, it just isn’t all at the Crusaders.
2 Go to commentsI wouldn’t spend the time on Nawaqanitawase! No point in having him filling in a jersey when he’s committed to leave Union. Give the jersey to a young prospect who will be here in the future.
4 Go to commentsIt was a pleasure to watch those guys playing with such confidence. That trio can all be infuriating for different reasons and I can see why Jones might have decided against them. No way to justify leaving Ikitau out though. Jorgensen and him were both scheduled to return at the same time. Only one of them plays for Randwick and has a dad who is great mates with the national coach though.
53 Go to commentsBrayden Iose and Peter Lakai are very exciting Super Rugby players but are too short and too light to ever be a Test 8 vs South Africa, France, Ireland, and England, Lakai could potentially be a Test player at 7 if he is allowed to focus on 7 for Hurricanes.
7 Go to commentsPencils “Thomas du Toit” into possible 2027 Bok squad.
1 Go to commentsDon’t see why Harrison makes the bench. Jones can play at 10 if needed, and there is a good case for starting her there to begin with if testing combinations. That would leave room for Sing on the bench
1 Go to commentsWhat a load of old bull!
1 Go to commentsOf the rugby I’ve born witness to in my lifetime - 1990 to date - I recognize great players throughout those years. But I have no doubt the game and the players are on average better today. So I doubt going back further is going to prove me wrong. The technical components of the game, set pieces, scrums, kicks, kicks at goal. And in general tactics employed are far more efficient, accurate and polished. Professional athletes that have invested countless hours on being accurate. There is one nation though that may be fairly competitive in any era - and that for me is the all blacks. And New Zealand players in general. NZ produces startling athletes who have fantastic ball skills. And then the odd phenomenon like Brooke. Lomu. Mcaw. Carter. Better than comparing players and teams across eras - I’ve often had this thought - that it would be very interesting to have a version of the game that is closer to its original form. What would the game look like today if the rules were rolled back. Not rules that promote safety obviously - but rules like: - a try being worth 1 point and conversion 2 points. Hence the term “try”. Earning a try at goals. Would we see more attacking play? - no lifting in the lineouts. - rucks and break down laws in general. They looked like wrestling matches in bygone eras. I wonder what a game applying 1995 rules would look like with modern players. It may be a daft exercise, but it would make for an interesting spectacle celebrating “purer” forms of the game that roll back the rules dramatically by a few versions. Would we come to learn that some of the rules/combinations of the rules we see today have actually made the game less attractive? I’d love to see an exhibition match like that.
29 Go to commentsIrish Rugby CEO be texting Andy Farrell “Andy, i found our next Kiwi Irishman”
5 Go to commentsI certainly don’t miss drinking beers at 8am in the morning watching rugby games being played in NZ.
1 Go to commentsThis looks like a damage limitation exercise for Wales, keeping back some of their more effective players for the last 20/25 minutes to try and counter England’s fresh legs so the Red Roses don’t rack up a big score.
1 Go to commentsVery unlikely the Bulls will beat Leinster in Dublin. It would be different in Pretoria.
1 Go to commentsI think it is a dangerous path to go down to ban a player for the same period that a player they injured takes to recover. Players would be afraid to tackle anyone. I once tackled my best friend at school in a practice match and sprained his ankle. I paid for it by having to play fly-half instead of full-back for the rest of that season’s fixtures.
5 Go to commentsJust such a genuine good bloke…and probably the best all round player in his generation. Good guys do come first sometimes and he handled the W.Cup loss with great attitude.
2 Go to commentsWord in France is that he’s on the radar of a few Top14 clubs.
5 Go to commentsGet blocking Travis, this guy has styles and he’s gonna make a swift impact…!
1 Go to commentsWhat remorse? She claimed that her dangerous tackle wasn’t worthy of a red! She should be compensating the injured player for loss of earnings at the minimum. Her ban should include the recovery time of the injured player as well as the paltry 3 match ban.
5 Go to commentsArdie is a legend. Finished and klaar. Two things: “Yeah, yeah, I have had a few conversations with Razor just around feedback on my game and what I am doing well, what I need to improve on or work-ons. It’s kind of been minimal, mate, but it’s all that I need over here in terms of how to be better, how to get better and what I am doing well.” I hope he’s downplaying it - and that it’s not that “minimal”. The amount of communication and behind the scenes preparation the Bok coaches put into players - Rassie and co would be all over Ardie and being clear on what is expected of him. This stands out for me as something teams should really be looking at in terms of the boks success from a coaching point of view. And was surprised by the comment - “minimal”. In terms of the “debate” around Ireland and South Africa. Nice one Ardie. Indeed. There’s no debate.
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