'I felt really frustrated and angry and there was many a sleepless night'
Adam Ashe would lie awake at night racked with anguish, the pain in his shoulder dwarfed by the torment he felt at emptying himself for the Glasgow cause and seeing his toil amount to nothing. When Dave Rennie took charge of Warriors in 2017, the Scotland back row quickly became a go-to man.
His ballast on the carry and deft handling were precious assets. But in the seasons that followed, he tumbled down the pecking order like a boulder down a cliff. Rennie reckoned he wasn’t nasty enough in the tackle, his performances no longer fizzed with sufficient aggression and dynamism. Ashe argues he was doing everything possible to fight his way back into the Glasgow squad, but there was no compelling the New Zealander.
Things came to a head last year when Ashe damaged an already troublesome shoulder in an inter-squad match, and still put himself in the firing line for the pre-season friendly against Ulster. It set off a chain of events that led to him leaving Glasgow this summer with a year left on his contract.
“Dave asked me after the internal game how I was feeling, I said my shoulder was at 60-70 per cent but I’d play against Ulster because I understood we were short of numbers because so many boys were at the World Cup,” Ashe told RugbyPass. “I played in that game and Dave said, ‘Look, I feel you didn’t play as well as you could, you weren’t physical enough in the tackle’. It was pretty gutting to be honest with you because he knew my shoulder was hanging on.
“At the best of times, my shoulder needed to be managed. The coaches are asking me in training to be more physical and show them that I have been working on that. And then there’s an internal game and I make two of the biggest tackles of my career and nothing happens. When I find out that I’m not involved for the next few games, I’m just feeling pretty demoralised.”
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Ashe soon became captain of the Glasgow bin juice brigade. His minutes were desperately limited, in part by more injuries but mostly by head-wrecking non-selection. In total, he made three appearances last season, the most recent coming off the bench against Edinburgh ten months ago.
“There were definitely times where I was thinking, what am I doing here? Why am I putting myself through this when I’m getting nothing in return?” he said. “It got to the point where I was like, you know what, I just can’t continue like this.
“My shoulder was playing on my mind and if I was going to be doing what they were asking me to do, and it’s exhausting me to get to that level, it just becomes a battle of is this worth it or not? No matter what I did, I couldn’t get back in the door. With other coaches, it’s easier to work your way back in but with Dave, it’s very, very hard.”
Despite the angst at Rennie’s stance, there is no great ill will towards the coach or Glasgow where Ashe has spent his entire professional career to date. He could be searingly honest with the Kiwi but at times it felt like banging his head against a brick wall. He picked up a shovel and grafted away in the semi-professional Super6 to no avail.
“I went back to the Super6 and played well. I trained well whenever we had training, I felt like I had done everything he asked me to do, and the things he felt we were missing in the squad were strengths of mine,” Ashe said. “Dave wasn’t condescending about the Super6, but he said the standard wasn’t anywhere near the professional game so it wasn’t a fair reflection of how a pro player was faring.
“There were other players who he said were in because they were leaders. To which I said, what you’re asking me to do and improve on, I feel like I’m doing better than them. It didn’t add up in my head. I felt really frustrated and angry and there was many a sleepless night during that time. But although I never got what I wanted, I was very appreciative that I was able to have those honest conversations with him. Dave is a top man and I have a lot of time for him regardless of our disagreements.”
Ultimately, Ashe’s shoulder forced the issue. He was hurling weights about the Scotstoun gym six months ago when he felt an almighty pop in the afflicted joint. An operation was required, but then Covid-19 struck and delayed the surgery until early July.
Ashe reckons he is three weeks away from being able to train fully and Glasgow are allowing him to complete his rehab at the club. Amidst all of this, Danny Wilson took over from Rennie and made it clear that Ashe was not part of his plans.
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“I don’t know if Danny had the best impression of me from the start,” he said. “I first met him in the Scotland camp when he was forwards coach in 2018. I was in the Six Nations squad training Monday-Thursday, but I wasn’t getting a game.
“Other players were being brought into the squad who had been on holiday and they were playing ahead of me. To be honest, I was pretty fed up. I’d played a lot of games for Glasgow, I was missing out on time off, and I was getting my head kicked in by the likes of Grant Gilchrist Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday in mauls and holding pads.
“I felt like I was a punchbag and given the fact I was already feeling pretty angry, I was missing out of time off and I was getting my head kicked in, I wasn’t in a good headspace and I wasn’t particularly happy to be there. That was reflected in the way that I was carrying myself and Danny probably picked up on that.”
This is possibly the worst time ever to be a free agent as coronavirus savages the budgets of clubs and unions the world over. Ashe is 27 and capped, which will not make his prospects any brighter, even if his last of six Scotland outings came in 2015.
He is encouraged, though, by the conversations he has had with potential suitors. There has been interest from Japan, England and the USA, and he yearns to fulfil a deep-rooted ambition to play overseas. “I have got a lot more to give,” he said. “But I’m not going to settle for something I’m not happy with. I’d love to be able to go to a club and really contribute for the next few years.”
"You should see our inbox. We could make a World XV five times over with guys who are using our products"
– @grayson_hart, co-founder of @puresportcbd, explains to @JLyall93 the merits of legal CBD, the cannabis plant compound popular with rugby players ???https://t.co/GhiZrPJF8U
— RugbyPass (@RugbyPass) August 20, 2020
Meanwhile, he is finally able to promote the cannabidiol (CBD) business he founded with former Glasgow teammate Grayson Hart in 2018. CBD comes from the hemp species of the cannabis plant, which contains only very low quantities of the psychoactive THC compound that causes the user to feel “high”. CBD does not appear to be addictive and is widely used as an alternative to painkillers, to combat seizure disorders, anxiety or improve sleep quality.
Ashe and Hart launched PureSport CBD, aiming to create a watertight range of products for athletes who simply cannot risk failing a drugs test. They sought extra testing and anti-doping accreditation to ensure their products contain no banned substances.
While under contract at Glasgow, Ashe was not allowed to tout his business. Scottish Rugby were understandably cagey about this emerging industry and the myriad brands and promises on the market, but he feels it is time they re-evaluated their rules. The union says it only follows UK Anti-Doping advice on assessing the need, benefits and risks of taking CBD.
“You are constantly in pain as a rugby player and at some point, organisations have to move on and figure out what is a better option than using painkillers that have side effects that we all know about,” Ashe said. “In my opinion, CBD is natural, non-addictive and extremely effective.
“That the blanket ban on the promotion of CBD wasn’t looked at again was frustrating to me. It definitely took its toll on our business in the early stages. I want to thank Grayson because he has been an absolutely massive help in trying to share my load and do as much as he can with the business and marketing. I owe a lot to that guy and now it’s my turn to step up.”
These past few years have been riddled with anger and exasperation, but at last, there is light now at the end of the tunnel.
Comments on RugbyPass
Je suis sûr que Farrell est impatient de jouer avec Lopez et Machenaud et d’être entraîné par Collazo… 🤭
1 Go to commentsAn on field red (aka a full red) in SRP must surely carry a bigger suspension than a red card given by the bunker as that carries a 20 minute team punishment. Had Damon Murphy abdicated his responsibility as a ref and issued both Drua players a yellow, which would have been upgraded to a 20 minute red by the bunker, that would have killed Australia and New Zealand’s push for the 20 minute red to be trialled globally from July this year.
11 Go to commentsEver so often you all post a Danny Care story that isn’t the announcement that he has finally re-signed for one more, victory tour season at Quins and I’m just like, “well you fooled me again!” My absolute favorite player ever, we need to make his final year at the Stoop (and Twickers) official already. I know he supposedly snubbed France but I won’t feel better until he signs.
1 Go to commentslate hit what late hit it wasn’t at all late and can clearly see he was committed before the tackle
1 Go to commentsChristian Lio -Willies 2 try perfomance was a standout. As was captain Scott Barrett. Up front was where the boys won it.They are a great team and players. Fantastic Crusades , you can keep going.
1 Go to commentsI don't know how the locals feel about that? I guess if you call yourselves the Worcester Wasps that might be appease. But really we need more teams in the Premiership in my view so they are not padding it out as they are at the moment. It might curtail so many players going abroad as well
5 Go to commentsNZ 😭😭😭is certainly rivaling England for best whingers cup!😭😭😭 !!!
25 Go to commentsYup. New Zealand won 3 out of 10 world cups played. SA 4 out of 8 attempts 30 Vs 50 per cent.🤔🤔
25 Go to commentsShould've done this years ago. Change Saturday kick off times to around 11am. Up and off and back home before 3pm, limit travel time too. Allows players to actually do something else with their Saturday that's family oriented or being rugby fans they could ‘watch’ pro rugby. Increases crowds etc. How can anyone that enjoys grassroots and pro rugby have to choose between the two on Saturdays?
9 Go to commentsI bet he inspired those supporters just as much.
1 Go to commentsBen Smith Springboks living rent free in his head 😊😂
67 Go to commentsGood to hear he would like to play the game at the highest level, I hadn’t been to sure how much of a motivator that was before now. Sadly he’s probably chosen the rugby club to go to. Try not to worry about all the input about how you should play rugby Joey and just try to emulate what you do on the league field and have fun. You’ll limit your game too much (well not really because he’s a standard athlete like SBW and he’ll still have enough) if you’re trying to make sure you can recycle the ball back etc. On the other hard, you can totally just try and recycle by looking to offload any and everywhere if you’re going to ground 😋
1 Go to commentsThis just proves that theres always a stat and a metric to use to justify your abilities and your success. Ben did it last week by creating an imaginary competition and now you did the same to counter his argument and espouse a new yardstick for success. Why not just use the current one and lets say the Boks have won 4 world cups making them the most successful world cup team. Outside of the world cup the All Blacks are the most successful team winning countless rugby championships and dominating the rankings with high win percentages. Over the last 4 years statistically the Irish are the best having the highest win rate and also having positive records against every tier 1 side. The most successful Northern team in the game has been England with a world cup title and the most six nations titles in history. The AB’s are the most dominant team in history with the highest win rate and 3 world cups. Lets not try to reinvent the wheel. Just be honest about the actual stats and what each team has been good at doing and that will be enough to define their level of success.
25 Go to commentsHow is 7’s played there? I’m surprised 10 or 11 man rugby hasn’t taken off. 7 just doesn’t fit the 15s dynamics (rules n field etc) but these other versions do.
9 Go to commentsPick Swinton at your peril A liability just like JWH from the Roosters Skelton ??? went missing at RWC
14 Go to commentsLike tennis, who have a ranking system, and I believe rugby too, just measure over each period preceding a world cup event who was the longest number one and that would be it. In tennis the number one player frequently is not the grand slam winner. I love and adore the All Blacks since the days of Ian Kirkpatrick when I was a kid in SA. And still do because they are the masters of running rugby and are gentleman on and off the field - in general. And in my opinion they have been the majority of the time the best rugby team in the world.
25 Go to commentsHaving overseas possessions in 2024 is absurd. These Frenchies should have to give the New Caledonians their freedom.
21 Go to commentsBell injured his foot didn’t he? Bring Tupou in he’ll deliver when it counts. Agree mostly but I would switch in the Reds number 8 Harry Wilson for Swinton and move Rob Valentini to 6 instead. Wilson is a clever player who reads the play, you can’t outmuscle the AB’s and Springboks, if you have any chance it’s by playing clever. Same goes for Paisami, he’s a little guy who doesn’t really trouble the likes of De Allende and Jordie Barrett. I’d rather play Carter Gordon at 12 and put Michael Lynagh’s boy at 10. That way you get a BMT type goalkicker at 10 and a playmaker at 12. Anyways, just my two cents as a Bok supporter.
14 Go to commentsThanks Brett, love your articles which are alway pertinent. It’s a difficult topic trying to have a panel adjudicating consistently penalties for red card issues. Many of the mitigating reasons raised are judged subjectively, hence the different outcomes. How to take away subjective opinions?
11 Go to commentsYes Sir! Surprising, just like Fraser would also have escaped sanction if he was a few inches lower, even if it was by accident that he missed! Has there really been talk about those sanctions or is this just sensational journalism? I stopped reading, so might have missed any notations.
11 Go to comments