The Blues Are in Pre-Season And That Can Only Mean One Thing... The Annual Hira Bhana Team Barbecue
Scotty Stevenson reports from an over-sized onion storage shed on the hills of Tuakau, near Pukekohe, south of Auckland, on a glorious summer’s evening.
The Blues, once the glamour New Zealand franchise of Super Rugby, have arrived for their annual pre-season barbecue with the Hira Bhana family and staff. They have taken two hours on a bus to get here. They are hungry. The good news is, a large number of farm animals have been slaughtered, butchered, marinated and grilled for their dining pleasure.
Hira Bhana and Co. are growers and purveyors of fine produce – potatoes, carrots, onions, cabbages and caulis (and lettuces all year round). The operation, begun in 1958 by Hira Bhana and now controlled and operated by his four sons, their wives, and their children, covers more than 1,500 acres of prime Franklin cropping land. Franklin is part of the Counties-Manukau province. Counties-Manukau rugby is aligned with the Chiefs. What the hell are the Blues doing here?
Woodsy Bhana says, “There are no Chiefs here, mate. Only Indians.”
And there is food. Lots of food. There are Indian spiced lamb chops and sweet and sticky pork chops. There are potato curries, and industrial-sized mixing bowls of freshly prepared salads. Later there will be vats of fruit salad and chocolate logs, and ice cream. Straight off the bus the Blues players head for the barbecues – home-made charcoal grills manned by a platoon of family members and workers. The entire barn smells of garam masala and meat sweat.
The coaches are here. Tana Umaga is a local hero thanks to his time with Counties-Manukau. Everyone here loves him. They also love his new assistant Steve Jackson, who helped him lead the Steelers to a Ranfurly Shield win and a national championship. Jackson is always smiling. James Parsons reckons he has brought some comedy to the club. “Is he funny?” I ask. “He thinks so,” he replies.
Dave Ellis is another new face. A short and wiry man who looks like he could kill you with a single headbutt, Ellis is the skills guru at the club. On his lower leg is an intricate ‘Connacht’ tattoo. He was with the Irish province when it won its first major trophy, the 2016 Pro12 Championship. The head coach was Pat Lam. You can be sure Ellis is hoping his time with the Blues is less torturous than Lam’s.
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Sonny Bill Williams is here. He had arrived early. Someone asks him for a photo. Someone else hands him a baby and takes a photo of them both. Someone else hands him two babies and two people take a photo of the three of them. There are babies everywhere. I don’t know where they are all coming from. I do know that Sonny Bill Williams is good with kids. Later in the evening he wanders out into the yard with Akira Ioane and fashions a game of one-on-one street ball. Yes, Sonny Bill Williams is good with kids.
A local man walks up to a group of players. “It’s our year boys,” he says excitedly, obviously high on grilled meat. “I think the Warriors have that line trademarked,” replies one of the players. Steve Jackson isn’t the only one bringing comedy to the club.
Last year the Blues went 8-1-6 and finished last in the hotly-contested New Zealand conference. If it is to be their year, they will have to start beating the other New Zealand clubs. I ask assistant coach Al Rogers how the pre-season has been. “It’s been really good and the team is in good shape,” he says with trademark intensity. Then the Welsh pragmatism kicks in. “Then again mate, every team would say that at this time of year, wouldn’t they?”
They probably would.
Next weekend the Blues will play their first pre-season fixture against the Hurricanes at Alexandra Park. Rene Ranger, who has been recovering from a knee injury and is slowly working his way back to full contact, says the squad can’t wait to get into a match scenario. “We’ve been playing some intra-squad games and they’ve been pretty full-on,” he says. “But there’s nothing like genuine contact to get you in the zone.” Blues fans will be hoping Ranger can find his own zone.
For now though, he is happy in an onion barn in Tuakau, ripping into chops with the rest of the boys. Deep in the heart of Chiefs country the Blues reign supreme with their hosts. Vijay Bhana, the scion of this potato loving family and the brains behind the company’s anthropomorphic root vegetable mascot, wraps up the night with a thank you to the team and an invitation to all to take home a ten-kilogram bag of all-purpose spuds.
Come grab ya spuds don't miss out! pic.twitter.com/rIgyIXaMZp
— Hira Bhana (@HiraBhana) February 19, 2016
“We just want you to know we purchased these new tractors with you in mind,” he says.
There were two of them parked next to the team bus, freshly polished and as clean as the day they left the factory.
And they were all blue.
Comments on RugbyPass
This is the problem with conservative mindsets and phycology, and homogenous sports, everybody wants to be the same, use the i-win template. Athlete wise everyone has to have muscles and work at the gym to make themselves more likely to hold on that one tackle. Do those players even wonder if they are now more likely to be tackled by that player as a result of there “work”? Really though, too many questions, Jake. Is it better Jake? Yes, because you still have that rugby of ole that you talk about. Is it at the highest International level anymore? No, but you go to your club or checkout your representative side and still engage with that ‘beautiful game’. Could you also have a bit of that at the top if coaches encouraged there team to play and incentivized players like Damian McKenzie and Ange Capuozzo? Of course we could. Sadly Rugby doesn’t, or didn’t, really know what direction to go when professionalism came. Things like the state of northern pitches didn’t help. Over the last two or three decades I feel like I’ve been fortunate to have all that Jake wants. There was International quality Super Rugby to adore, then the next level below I could watch club mates, pulling 9 to 5s, take on the countries best in representative rugby. Rugby played with flair and not too much riding on the consequences. It was beautiful. That largely still exists today, but with the world of rugby not quite getting things right, the picture is now being painted in NZ that that level of rugby is not required in the “pathway” to Super Rugby or All Black rugby. You might wonder if NZR is right and the pathway shouldn’t include the ‘amateur’, but let me tell you, even though the NPC might be made up of people still having to pull 9-5s, we know these people still have dreams to get out of that, and aren’t likely to give them. They will be lost. That will put a real strain on the concept of whether “visceral thrill, derring-do and joyful abandon” type rugby will remain under the professional level here in NZ. I think at some point that can be eroded as well. If only wanting the best athlete’s at the top level wasn’t enough to lose that, shutting off the next group, or level, or rugby players from easy access to express and showcase themselves certainly will. That all comes back around to the same question of professionalism in rugby and whether it got things right, and rugby is better now. Maybe the answer is turning into a “no”?
34 Go to commentsWow, didn’t realise there was such apathy to URC in SA, or by Champions Cup teams. Just read Nick’s article on Crusaders, are Sharks a similar circumstance? I think SA rugby has been far more balanced than NZs, no?
2 Go to commentsBut here in Australia we were told Penney was another gun kiwi coach, for the Tahs…….and yet again it turned out the kiwi coach was completely useless. Another con job on Australian rugby. As was Robbie Deans, as was Dave Rennie. Both coaches dumped from NZ and promoted to Australia as our saviour. And the Tahs lap them up knowing they are second rate and knowing that under pressure when their short comings are exposed in Australia as well, that they will fall in below the largest most powerful province and choose second rate Tah players to save their jobs. As they do and exactly as Joe Schmidt will do. Gauranteed. Schmidt was dumped by NZ too. That’s why he went overseas. That why kiwi coaches take jobs in Australia, to try and prove they are not as bad as NZ thought they were. Then when they get found out they try and ingratiate themselves to NZ again by dragging Australian teams down with ridiculous selections and game plans. NZ rugby’s biggest problem is that it can’t yet transition from MCaw Cheatism. They just don’t know how to try and win on your merits. It is still always a contest to see how much cheating you can get away with. Without a cheating genius like McCaw, they are struggling. This I think is why my wise old mate in NZ thinks Robertson will struggle. The Crusaders are the nursery of McCaw Cheatism. Sean Fitzpatrick was probably the father of it. Robertson doesn’t know anything else but other countries have worked it out.
15 Go to commentsIt could be coincidental or prescient that the All Blacks most dominant period under Steve Hansen was when the Crusaders had their least successful period under Todd Blackadder and then the positions reversed when Razor took over the Crusaders.
15 Go to commentsDefinitely sound read everybodyexpects immediate results these days, I don't think any team would travel well at all having lost three of the most important game changers in the game,compiled with the massive injury list they are now carrying, good to see a different more in depth perspective of a coaches history.
3 Go to commentsSinckler is a really big loss for English rugby.
1 Go to commentsThanks Nick The loss of players to OS, injury and retirement is certainly not helping the Crusaders. Ditto the coach. IMO Penny is there to hold the fort and cop the flak until new players and a new coach come through,…and that's understood and accepted by Penny and the Crusaders hierarchy. I think though that what is happening with the Crusaders is an indicator of what is happening with the other NZ SRP teams…..and the other SRP teams for that matter. Not enough money. The money has come via the SR competition and it’s not there anymore. It's in France, Japan and England. Unless or until something is done to make SR more SELLABLE to the NZ/Australia Rugby market AND the world rugby market the $s to keep both the very best players and the next rung down won't be there. They will play away from NZ more and more. I think though that NZ will continue to produce the players and the coaches of sufficient strength for NZ to have the capacity to stay at the top. Whether they do stay at the top as an international team will depend upon whether the money flowing to SRP is somehow restored, or NZ teams play in the Japan comp, or NZ opts to pick from anywhere. As a follower of many sports I’d have to say that the organisation and promotion of Super Rugby has been for the last 20 years closest to the worst I’ve ever seen. This hasn't necessarily been caused by NZ, but it’s happened. Perhaps it can be fixed, perhaps not. The Crusaders are I think a symptom of this, not the cause
15 Go to commentsNo way. If you are trying to picture New Zealand rugby with an All Blacks mindset, there have been two factors instrumental to the decline of NZ rugby to date. Those are the horror that the Blues have become and, probably more so, the fixture that the Crusaders became. I don’t think it was healthy to have one team so dominant for so long, both for lack of proper representation of players from outside that environment and on the over reliance on players from within it. If you are another international side, like Ireland for example, sure. You can copy paste something succinct from one level to the next and experience a huge increase in standards, but ultimately you will not be maximizing it, which is what you need to perform to the level the ABs do. Added to that is the apathy that develops in the whole game as a result of one sides dominance. NZ, Super, and Championship rugby should all experience a boom as a result of things balancing out. That said, there is a lot of bad news happening in NZ rugby recently, and I’m not sure the game can be handled well enough here to postpone the always-there feeling of inevitable decline of rugby.
15 Go to commentsNo SA supporter miss Super Rugby - a product that is experiencing significant head wind in ANZ - the competition from rival codes are intense, match attendance figures are at a historical low and the negativity of commentators such as Kirwan and Wilson have accelerated the downward spiral in NZ. After the next RWC in 2027 sponsors will follow Qantas and start leaving in droves.
2 Go to commentsLike others, I am not seeing the connection between this edition of the Crusaders and the All Blacks future prospects under Razor. I think the analysis of the Crusaders attack recently is helpful because Razor and his coaching team used to be able to slot new guys in to their systems and see them succeed. Several of Razor’s coaches are still there so it would be surprising if the current attack and set piece has been overhauled to a great extent - but based on that analysis, it may have been. Whether it is too many new guys due to injuries or retirement or a failure of current Crusaders systems is the main question to be answered imo. It doesn’t seem relevant for the ABs.
15 Go to commentsharry potter is set in stone. he creates stability and finishes well. exactly what schmidt likes. he’s the ben smith of australian rugby. i think it could quite easily be potter toole and kellaway for the foreseeable future.
5 Go to commentsThis is short sighted from Clayton if you ask me, smacks of too much preseason planning and no adaptability. What if DMac is out for a must win match, are they still only going to bring their best first five and playmaker on late in the game? Trusting the game to someone who wasn’t even part of planning (they would have had Trask pinned in as Jacomb preseason). Perhaps if the Crusaders were better they would not have done this, but either way imo you take this opportunity to play a guy you might need starting in a final rather than having their 12th game getting comfortable coming off the bench.
1 Go to commentsThanks Brett.. At last a positive article on the potential of Wallaby candidates, great to read. Schmidt’s record as an international rugby coach speaks for itself, I’m somewhat confident he will turn the Wallaby’s fortunes around …. on the field. It will be up to others to steady the ship off the paddock. But is there a flaw in my optimism? We have known all along that Australia has the players to be very competitive with their international rivals. We know that because everyone keeps telling us. So why the poor results? A question that requires a definitive answer before the turn around can occur. Joe Schmidt signed on for 2 years, time to encompass the Lions tour of 2025. By all accounts he puts family first and that’s fair enough, but I would wager that his 2 year contract will be extended if the next 18 months or so shows the statement “Australia has the players” proves to be correct. The new coach does not have a lot of time to meld together an outfit that will be competitive in the Rugby Championship - it will be interesting to see what happens. It will be interesting to see what happens with Giteau law, the new Wallaby coach has already verbalised that he would to prefer to select from those who play their rugby in Australia. His first test in charge is in July just over 3 months away .. not a long time. I for one wish him well .. heaven knows Australia needs some positive vibes.
21 Go to commentsWhat a load of bollocks. The author has forgotten to mention the fact that the Crusaders have a huge injury toll with top world class players out. Not to mention the fact that they are obviously in a transition period. No this will not spark a slow death for NZ rugby, but it does mean there will be a new Super Rugby champion. Anyone who knows anything about NZ rugby knows that there is some serious talent here, it just isn’t all at the Crusaders.
15 Go to commentsI wouldn’t spend the time on Nawaqanitawase! No point in having him filling in a jersey when he’s committed to leave Union. Give the jersey to a young prospect who will be here in the future.
5 Go to commentsIt was a pleasure to watch those guys playing with such confidence. That trio can all be infuriating for different reasons and I can see why Jones might have decided against them. No way to justify leaving Ikitau out though. Jorgensen and him were both scheduled to return at the same time. Only one of them plays for Randwick and has a dad who is great mates with the national coach though.
53 Go to commentsBrayden Iose and Peter Lakai are very exciting Super Rugby players but are too short and too light to ever be a Test 8 vs South Africa, France, Ireland, and England, Lakai could potentially be a Test player at 7 if he is allowed to focus on 7 for Hurricanes.
7 Go to commentsPencils “Thomas du Toit” into possible 2027 Bok squad.
1 Go to commentsDon’t see why Harrison makes the bench. Jones can play at 10 if needed, and there is a good case for starting her there to begin with if testing combinations. That would leave room for Sing on the bench
1 Go to commentsWhat a load of old bull!
1 Go to comments