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The Blues Are in Pre-Season And That Can Only Mean One Thing... The Annual Hira Bhana Team Barbecue

By Scotty Stevenson
Tana Umaga and SBW enjoy some Hira Bhana hospitality. (Photo: twitter.com/bluesrugbyteam)

Scotty Stevenson reports from an over-sized onion storage shed on the hills of Tuakau, near Pukekohe, south of Auckland, on a glorious summer’s evening.

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The Blues, once the glamour New Zealand franchise of Super Rugby, have arrived for their annual pre-season barbecue with the Hira Bhana family and staff. They have taken two hours on a bus to get here. They are hungry. The good news is, a large number of farm animals have been slaughtered, butchered, marinated and grilled for their dining pleasure.

Hira Bhana and Co. are growers and purveyors of fine produce – potatoes, carrots, onions, cabbages and caulis (and lettuces all year round). The operation, begun in 1958 by Hira Bhana and now controlled and operated by his four sons, their wives, and their children, covers more than 1,500 acres of prime Franklin cropping land. Franklin is part of the Counties-Manukau province. Counties-Manukau rugby is aligned with the Chiefs. What the hell are the Blues doing here?

Woodsy Bhana says, “There are no Chiefs here, mate. Only Indians.”

And there is food. Lots of food. There are Indian spiced lamb chops and sweet and sticky pork chops. There are potato curries, and industrial-sized mixing bowls of freshly prepared salads. Later there will be vats of fruit salad and chocolate logs, and ice cream. Straight off the bus the Blues players head for the barbecues – home-made charcoal grills manned by a platoon of family members and workers. The entire barn smells of garam masala and meat sweat.

The coaches are here. Tana Umaga is a local hero thanks to his time with Counties-Manukau. Everyone here loves him. They also love his new assistant Steve Jackson, who helped him lead the Steelers to a Ranfurly Shield win and a national championship. Jackson is always smiling. James Parsons reckons he has brought some comedy to the club. “Is he funny?” I ask. “He thinks so,” he replies.

Dave Ellis is another new face. A short and wiry man who looks like he could kill you with a single headbutt, Ellis is the skills guru at the club. On his lower leg is an intricate ‘Connacht’ tattoo. He was with the Irish province when it won its first major trophy, the 2016 Pro12 Championship. The head coach was Pat Lam. You can be sure Ellis is hoping his time with the Blues is less torturous than Lam’s.

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Sonny Bill Williams is here. He had arrived early. Someone asks him for a photo. Someone else hands him a baby and takes a photo of them both. Someone else hands him two babies and two people take a photo of the three of them. There are babies everywhere. I don’t know where they are all coming from. I do know that Sonny Bill Williams is good with kids. Later in the evening he wanders out into the yard with Akira Ioane and fashions a game of one-on-one street ball. Yes, Sonny Bill Williams is good with kids.

A local man walks up to a group of players. “It’s our year boys,” he says excitedly, obviously high on grilled meat. “I think the Warriors have that line trademarked,” replies one of the players. Steve Jackson isn’t the only one bringing comedy to the club.

Last year the Blues went 8-1-6 and finished last in the hotly-contested New Zealand conference. If it is to be their year, they will have to start beating the other New Zealand clubs. I ask assistant coach Al Rogers how the pre-season has been. “It’s been really good and the team is in good shape,” he says with trademark intensity. Then the Welsh pragmatism kicks in. “Then again mate, every team would say that at this time of year, wouldn’t they?”

They probably would.

Next weekend the Blues will play their first pre-season fixture against the Hurricanes at Alexandra Park. Rene Ranger, who has been recovering from a knee injury and is slowly working his way back to full contact, says the squad can’t wait to get into a match scenario. “We’ve been playing some intra-squad games and they’ve been pretty full-on,” he says. “But there’s nothing like genuine contact to get you in the zone.” Blues fans will be hoping Ranger can find his own zone.

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For now though, he is happy in an onion barn in Tuakau, ripping into chops with the rest of the boys. Deep in the heart of Chiefs country the Blues reign supreme with their hosts. Vijay Bhana, the scion of this potato loving family and the brains behind the company’s anthropomorphic root vegetable mascot, wraps up the night with a thank you to the team and an invitation to all to take home a ten-kilogram bag of all-purpose spuds.

“We just want you to know we purchased these new tractors with you in mind,” he says.

There were two of them parked next to the team bus, freshly polished and as clean as the day they left the factory.

And they were all blue.

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J
Jon 1 hours ago
Jake White: Are modern rugby players actually better?

This is the problem with conservative mindsets and phycology, and homogenous sports, everybody wants to be the same, use the i-win template. Athlete wise everyone has to have muscles and work at the gym to make themselves more likely to hold on that one tackle. Do those players even wonder if they are now more likely to be tackled by that player as a result of there “work”? Really though, too many questions, Jake. Is it better Jake? Yes, because you still have that rugby of ole that you talk about. Is it at the highest International level anymore? No, but you go to your club or checkout your representative side and still engage with that ‘beautiful game’. Could you also have a bit of that at the top if coaches encouraged there team to play and incentivized players like Damian McKenzie and Ange Capuozzo? Of course we could. Sadly Rugby doesn’t, or didn’t, really know what direction to go when professionalism came. Things like the state of northern pitches didn’t help. Over the last two or three decades I feel like I’ve been fortunate to have all that Jake wants. There was International quality Super Rugby to adore, then the next level below I could watch club mates, pulling 9 to 5s, take on the countries best in representative rugby. Rugby played with flair and not too much riding on the consequences. It was beautiful. That largely still exists today, but with the world of rugby not quite getting things right, the picture is now being painted in NZ that that level of rugby is not required in the “pathway” to Super Rugby or All Black rugby. You might wonder if NZR is right and the pathway shouldn’t include the ‘amateur’, but let me tell you, even though the NPC might be made up of people still having to pull 9-5s, we know these people still have dreams to get out of that, and aren’t likely to give them. They will be lost. That will put a real strain on the concept of whether “visceral thrill, derring-do and joyful abandon” type rugby will remain under the professional level here in NZ. I think at some point that can be eroded as well. If only wanting the best athlete’s at the top level wasn’t enough to lose that, shutting off the next group, or level, or rugby players from easy access to express and showcase themselves certainly will. That all comes back around to the same question of professionalism in rugby and whether it got things right, and rugby is better now. Maybe the answer is turning into a “no”?

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j
john 4 hours ago
Will the Crusaders' decline spark a slow death for New Zealand rugby?

But here in Australia we were told Penney was another gun kiwi coach, for the Tahs…….and yet again it turned out the kiwi coach was completely useless. Another con job on Australian rugby. As was Robbie Deans, as was Dave Rennie. Both coaches dumped from NZ and promoted to Australia as our saviour. And the Tahs lap them up knowing they are second rate and knowing that under pressure when their short comings are exposed in Australia as well, that they will fall in below the largest most powerful province and choose second rate Tah players to save their jobs. As they do and exactly as Joe Schmidt will do. Gauranteed. Schmidt was dumped by NZ too. That’s why he went overseas. That why kiwi coaches take jobs in Australia, to try and prove they are not as bad as NZ thought they were. Then when they get found out they try and ingratiate themselves to NZ again by dragging Australian teams down with ridiculous selections and game plans. NZ rugby’s biggest problem is that it can’t yet transition from MCaw Cheatism. They just don’t know how to try and win on your merits. It is still always a contest to see how much cheating you can get away with. Without a cheating genius like McCaw, they are struggling. This I think is why my wise old mate in NZ thinks Robertson will struggle. The Crusaders are the nursery of McCaw Cheatism. Sean Fitzpatrick was probably the father of it. Robertson doesn’t know anything else but other countries have worked it out.

15 Go to comments
A
Adrian 6 hours ago
Will the Crusaders' decline spark a slow death for New Zealand rugby?

Thanks Nick The loss of players to OS, injury and retirement is certainly not helping the Crusaders. Ditto the coach. IMO Penny is there to hold the fort and cop the flak until new players and a new coach come through,…and that's understood and accepted by Penny and the Crusaders hierarchy. I think though that what is happening with the Crusaders is an indicator of what is happening with the other NZ SRP teams…..and the other SRP teams for that matter. Not enough money. The money has come via the SR competition and it’s not there anymore. It's in France, Japan and England. Unless or until something is done to make SR more SELLABLE to the NZ/Australia Rugby market AND the world rugby market the $s to keep both the very best players and the next rung down won't be there. They will play away from NZ more and more. I think though that NZ will continue to produce the players and the coaches of sufficient strength for NZ to have the capacity to stay at the top. Whether they do stay at the top as an international team will depend upon whether the money flowing to SRP is somehow restored, or NZ teams play in the Japan comp, or NZ opts to pick from anywhere. As a follower of many sports I’d have to say that the organisation and promotion of Super Rugby has been for the last 20 years closest to the worst I’ve ever seen. This hasn't necessarily been caused by NZ, but it’s happened. Perhaps it can be fixed, perhaps not. The Crusaders are I think a symptom of this, not the cause

15 Go to comments
T
Trevor 9 hours ago
Will forgotten Wallabies fit the Joe Schmidt model?

Thanks Brett.. At last a positive article on the potential of Wallaby candidates, great to read. Schmidt’s record as an international rugby coach speaks for itself, I’m somewhat confident he will turn the Wallaby’s fortunes around …. on the field. It will be up to others to steady the ship off the paddock. But is there a flaw in my optimism? We have known all along that Australia has the players to be very competitive with their international rivals. We know that because everyone keeps telling us. So why the poor results? A question that requires a definitive answer before the turn around can occur. Joe Schmidt signed on for 2 years, time to encompass the Lions tour of 2025. By all accounts he puts family first and that’s fair enough, but I would wager that his 2 year contract will be extended if the next 18 months or so shows the statement “Australia has the players” proves to be correct. The new coach does not have a lot of time to meld together an outfit that will be competitive in the Rugby Championship - it will be interesting to see what happens. It will be interesting to see what happens with Giteau law, the new Wallaby coach has already verbalised that he would to prefer to select from those who play their rugby in Australia. His first test in charge is in July just over 3 months away .. not a long time. I for one wish him well .. heaven knows Australia needs some positive vibes.

21 Go to comments
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