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In Defense Of A Biting, Gouging, Swan Diving Gobshite

By Lee Calvert
The glorious Chris Ashton swan dive

Chris Ashton is not an easy man to like, let alone love. But as the Saracens winger takes his position on the sidelines for the 13 week duration of his latest ban, Lee Calvert make the case for why we should all try harder to do just that.

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Chris Ashton: an eye-fidgeting, prop-chomping, hair-pulling, swan diving clungetrumpet who loves nothing more than to rub opposition fans the wrong way. An all round unconscionable gobshite of the worst kind.

He sits out the next three-and-a-bit months, this time for biting Northampton Saints prop Alex Waller. This is after he was banned last season for putting his hands near the eyes of an Ulster player in a European Champions Cup match. And that’s just the big stuff: he’s also generally gobby, arrogant and makes absolutely no secret of the fact that he bloody loves scoring tries and then rubbing it in the faces of the team he has scored against. What a truly terrible, awful person.

Or is he?

Ashton made one of the most difficult journeys in English rugby, moving from rugby league club Wigan Warriors at twenty years old to play for Northampton. Yes, he was well compensated, but plenty before him have done the same and failed. Instead he scored an obscene number of tries for his new rugby union team, earned an England call-up and kept on scoring at that level. As well as his very obvious talent, a huge part of what allowed him to make the transition so successfully at such a relatively tender age was the very same cockiness that he is now pilloried for. Very few were complaining about his general demeanour when he scored a glorious try vs the Wallabies in 2010, or ran in four vs Italy in the Six Nations.

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It often feels like Chris Ashton is unfairly judged. Compare him to Dylan Hartley, the current England captain, who has a list of misdemeanours so long he could be a peripheral character in Goodfellas – including calling a referee a “fucking cheat” in the Premiership final – but is now being feted as a fabulous leader of England’s current new dawn. Ashton’s recent infringements have arguably been harshly judged: the gouging vs Ulster was not a heinous example by anyone’s measure, and the Saracens winger was found guilty of biting Alex Waller after the Saints man had first gripped his neck and then grabbed at his face before ramming his arm into Ashton’s mouth. Is it maybe because Hartley is a union lad through and through and Ashton is a gobby northerner who came in from rugby league and remains one of the best wingers in the land?

It is this last point that people are too quick to discount, because they dislike the make-up of his character, or at least what they think they know of his character. The reality is that off the field his is charming and funny and was praised by a judge in 2012 for displaying “admirable restraint” when a stranger in a bar attempted to glass him in the face when he was out with his girlfriend.

There is an understandable tendency in rugby to want all our players to be ‘decent people’. The trouble with that is that if we narrow the definition of what that means and apply so many morals to it then anyone who stands outside of it is seen as somehow wrong or questionable. Ashton is one of those people simply because he sometimes loses his temper, oversteps with his chopsy talk and celebrates to a level many find distasteful. But do we really want a game made up exclusively of Richie McCaws and Chris Robshaws? Just think how boring that would be.

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Chris Ashton is a truly exceptional talent – let’s not allow a few foibles blind us to that.

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Adrian 1 hours ago
Will the Crusaders' decline spark a slow death for New Zealand rugby?

Thanks Nick The loss of players to OS, injury and retirement is certainly not helping the Crusaders. Ditto the coach. IMO Penny is there to hold the fort and cop the flak until new players and a new coach come through,…and that's understood and accepted by Penny and the Crusaders hierarchy. I think though that what is happening with the Crusaders is an indicator of what is happening with the other NZ SRP teams…..and the other SRP teams for that matter. Not enough money. The money has come via the SR competition and it’s not there anymore. It's in France, Japan and England. Unless or until something is done to make SR more SELLABLE to the NZ/Australia Rugby market AND the world rugby market the $s to keep both the very best players and the next rung down won't be there. They will play away from NZ more and more. I think though that NZ will continue to produce the players and the coaches of sufficient strength for NZ to have the capacity to stay at the top. Whether they do stay at the top as an international team will depend upon whether the money flowing to SRP is somehow restored, or NZ teams play in the Japan comp, or NZ opts to pick from anywhere. As a follower of many sports I’d have to say that the organisation and promotion of Super Rugby has been for the last 20 years closest to the worst I’ve ever seen. This hasn't necessarily been caused by NZ, but it’s happened. Perhaps it can be fixed, perhaps not. The Crusaders are I think a symptom of this, not the cause

8 Go to comments
T
Trevor 3 hours ago
Will forgotten Wallabies fit the Joe Schmidt model?

Thanks Brett.. At last a positive article on the potential of Wallaby candidates, great to read. Schmidt’s record as an international rugby coach speaks for itself, I’m somewhat confident he will turn the Wallaby’s fortunes around …. on the field. It will be up to others to steady the ship off the paddock. But is there a flaw in my optimism? We have known all along that Australia has the players to be very competitive with their international rivals. We know that because everyone keeps telling us. So why the poor results? A question that requires a definitive answer before the turn around can occur. Joe Schmidt signed on for 2 years, time to encompass the Lions tour of 2025. By all accounts he puts family first and that’s fair enough, but I would wager that his 2 year contract will be extended if the next 18 months or so shows the statement “Australia has the players” proves to be correct. The new coach does not have a lot of time to meld together an outfit that will be competitive in the Rugby Championship - it will be interesting to see what happens. It will be interesting to see what happens with Giteau law, the new Wallaby coach has already verbalised that he would to prefer to select from those who play their rugby in Australia. His first test in charge is in July just over 3 months away .. not a long time. I for one wish him well .. heaven knows Australia needs some positive vibes.

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B
Bull Shark 7 hours ago
Jake White: Are modern rugby players actually better?

Of the rugby I’ve born witness to in my lifetime - 1990 to date - I recognize great players throughout those years. But I have no doubt the game and the players are on average better today. So I doubt going back further is going to prove me wrong. The technical components of the game, set pieces, scrums, kicks, kicks at goal. And in general tactics employed are far more efficient, accurate and polished. Professional athletes that have invested countless hours on being accurate. There is one nation though that may be fairly competitive in any era - and that for me is the all blacks. And New Zealand players in general. NZ produces startling athletes who have fantastic ball skills. And then the odd phenomenon like Brooke. Lomu. Mcaw. Carter. Better than comparing players and teams across eras - I’ve often had this thought - that it would be very interesting to have a version of the game that is closer to its original form. What would the game look like today if the rules were rolled back. Not rules that promote safety obviously - but rules like: - a try being worth 1 point and conversion 2 points. Hence the term “try”. Earning a try at goals. Would we see more attacking play? - no lifting in the lineouts. - rucks and break down laws in general. They looked like wrestling matches in bygone eras. I wonder what a game applying 1995 rules would look like with modern players. It may be a daft exercise, but it would make for an interesting spectacle celebrating “purer” forms of the game that roll back the rules dramatically by a few versions. Would we come to learn that some of the rules/combinations of the rules we see today have actually made the game less attractive? I’d love to see an exhibition match like that.

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