LONG READ Paul Williams: 'The All Blacks can still leave you spellbound like no other team'

Another month in rugby ticks by and it has only consolidated the fact in my head that the Boks’ scrum is the best we’ve ever seen, but the All Blacks shouldn’t give up hope, when in possession, they can still reach parts other sides cannot reach. Meanwhile, whisper it, but Australia may soon have the world’s best lock and closer to home, Lloyds’ sponsorship is a powerful shot in the arm for English rugby in these cash-strapped times.

The All Blacks can still leave you spellbound like no other team

Everyone has bad days. Regardless of career, we all have days when things don’t go quite to plan. But the difference between the All Blacks and normal people is that they rarely have two bad days in a row. In that regard, they are unique in rugby and perhaps even unique in sport. The lowest the All Blacks have been in the official world rankings is fifth (August 2022); prior to that, the lowest they had ever been was third – third is a dream for most rugby nations. This tour of South Africa has been further proof of their excellence. With what many would consider a rather average playing squad, given their history of individual brilliance, they have been the Springboks’ equals in a series of test matches that will live long in the memory. That does not mean they have matched the Boks in every aspect of play – they have not. The Boks’ scrum, for instance, has far outperformed the Kiwis’. But New Zealand have offset that disadvantage with ball handling so silky it would get the nod from even the most difficult to please of silkworms.

No one in world rugby executes the first three passes like the All Blacks and it is the reason that they are able to counter attack from anywhere on the field. Every pass, particularly from Cam Roigard and Ruben Love, is a perfect tight spiral that wouldn’t look out of place in the Andromeda Galaxy (M31). Every ball flight ends up chest-high and in front of the receiver. It means that when the All Blacks’ wide players receive the ball in the 15m channel, they are hitting it at 80% pace with the ball perfectly in the slot. You may think this skill is a given at tier-one test level. It is not. When some other teams’ wide players get the ball in the 15m channel, they are often receiving a ball that looks to have been passed by a juggler from a low-budget circus. Yes, this is not a vintage All Blacks team. But it does not need to be. Even when New Zealand are not quite at their best, they are usually good enough.

Australia may soon have the world’s best lock

The title alone may have South Africans choking on their brandy and coke. But hear me out. The Wallabies have an awesome lock in their squad. His name is Josh Canham, and he has the potential to be the best in the world. At 6ft 8in and 19 stone, he has the frame of a test lock, but the mobility and skill set of someone you would expect to see in the NBA. Don’t let that fool you into thinking he is some flashy giant who just likes offloading and is shy of contact – he isn’t. Canham will tackle and level rucks until there is nothing between him and the horizon. But it is his acceleration and handling that truly set him apart. To see him carry into contact is more reminiscent of a power forward driving into the paint than a lock carrying into contact. When most locks are simply looking down, he is heads up.

Perhaps the most encouraging aspect of his performance is that he is already beginning to dominate test matches at the age of 25, something most locks don’t do until their late 20s. The Wallabies haven’t had a lock with this skillset since John Eales, and they are not a nation that tends to produce stacks of quality locks. In this regard, Canham is arguably the most important player in the Australian test squad, and he is awesome to watch. Well played, Josh.

The Boks’ scrum is the best ever

Saying that something is “the best thing ever” can come across as a bit juvenile – i.e. “this is the best Power Ranger ever” or “these are the best chicken nuggets ever”. Well, so be it. If I must pick up a children’s dummy and don Paw Patrol pyjamas, then I will: the Boks have the best scrum ever. There have been many teams over the years with dominant scrums. There have been many teams with a scrum that can win a couple of scrummaging penalties per game. There have been many teams with a scrum that can bully sides at the lower end of tier one and the top end of tier two.

But there has never been a team that can absolutely dominate any scrum in the world and deliver scrum penalties on demand, like the current Bok team. They have elevated the role of a scrummaging front three from a wishlist item to a must-have. In a perverse way, they have almost made their scrum so dominant that it can occasionally become a hindrance. The first test against the All Blacks is a great example. For 50 minutes, they had a scrum laying golden eggs like a goose with gastroenteritis and chose to push for a yellow card when kicks at goal (or to the corner) were arguably the better option. But that shouldn’t take away from the fact that Rassie Erasmus, his coaches and his players have built the best scrum ever. And if you disagree, I’ll tell my mammy and daddy.

Lloyds sponsorship is great news for English rugby

People can sometimes get a bit funny about words and pictures on rugby shirts. This month, Lloyds Bank have agreed to pay English rugby a stack of money to have the word Lloyds, and a tiny picture of a horse, on the back of England’s men’s and women’s shirts. That one word and that little horse will deliver millions of pounds, yet for some reason, some supporters aren’t too keen. It’s also great news for any supporters whose surname happens to be Lloyd, as it could save them £10 on a personalised England shirt.