LONG READ 'Can we all stop moaning about the Lions, please?'

Rugby supporters like to think of themselves as a little bit above those of other sports – namely, soccer. We like to think we’re a touch more balanced, more nuanced and less hysterical. But even if any of that was true, that balance, nuance and lack of hysteria is more than made up for by the amount of bickering we do – about the sport we’re supposed to love.

The Lions tour is a great example. To complain about the Lions is like complaining about ice cream – who the heck doesn’t like ice cream? It’s the pinnacle of rugby for all the home nations and a rare opportunity for four enemies to come together and be friends for three months.

What’s more, it’s arguably an example wider society would love to emulate – watch the news for 10 minutes and tell me society couldn’t benefit from being a bit more ‘Lionsy’ in concept. The Lions tour is one of the only sure financial bets in pro rugby and guarantees a massive payday for those nations involved. Plus, it still pulls in big TV audiences in an era when rugby is struggling to retain its foothold on the sporting cliff face. Yet for some reason, some people still aren’t happy.

The whining seems to have been more prevalent on this tour than any other. Which could either be because it’s been amplified on social media, or because rugby supporters have become almost impossible to please. The social media example is perfectly valid. Whereas all rugby clubs have one embittered individual sitting in the clubhouse annoying everyone and spreading misery, that voice is easy to ignore when it’s one person in a room of 60. With all of those individuals having now found each other in one virtual/ digital rugby club, the noise becomes deafening and makes it feel like all rugby supporters just don’t like rugby anymore – which can’t be true.

All Lions tours have a bit of supporter bickering in the initial stages; it’s to be expected, and is part of the initial appeal. Firstly, there’s the obvious fallout from the squad selection. We all have our favourite rugby children and when they’re the last to be picked off the wall, or not picked at all, we come out swinging.

Lions shirts cost the same as any other sporting shirt (soccer, NFL, NBA) but for some reason Lions shirts are supposed to cost £18.99 and only be released once every century – so you only need to buy one in an entire lifetime.

Then there’s the almost permanent argument about how expensive it is to go on the Lions tour in the first place. It is expensive, super expensive, but so are all elite sporting tours. Going on a Lions tour is for the very wealthy, or the retired and wealthy-ish. It’s a sporting bucket list item – the Lions tour is fillet mignon, not ASDA beans. And of course, we can’t talk about whining without mentioning how much people complain about the cost of Lions shirts. They cost the same as any other sporting shirt (soccer, NFL, NBA) but for some reason Lions shirts are supposed to cost £18.99 and only be released once every century – so you only need to buy one in an entire lifetime.

On most tours, that’s where the bickering stops. Once the teams have been selected, there’s usually a melding process that follows where the players and supporters become one – they become Lions. But for some reason the complaining hasn’t stopped on this tour and doesn’t look like it will.

It started with the moans about the initial game being played against Argentina in Ireland.

“That’s not in bloody Australia, is it?”

“Bloody Irish controlling things again.”

Then we moved on to the first batch of injury replacements which caused a huge uproar. One of the major mistakes supporters make is when we select our imaginary squads, we often think about selecting the best individual in a single position. That isn’t what the coaches are doing. They are picking players who can cover the whole tour, often in multiple positions- sometimes, they’re not selecting the best skillset, but the best fit.

Then there was the selection of the ‘geography’ replacements – which has famously happened on previous tours. Those are players who have been pulled onto the Lions tour because they were part of Test teams playing in the nearest locations to Australia. It’s a perfectly logical thing to do. It saves time, money, jet lag and gets them into camp as quickly as possible. The reality is most of those called up will likely only feature in midweek games and are also there to bolster training runs – but it’s still an incredible once-in-a-lifetime experience for those players.

But by far the greatest and cruellest moaning was reserved for the selection of Owen Farrell. He was even booed when he took the field in his first appearance on this tour – how much of that booing was from Wallabies or Lions supporters was hard to tell. Many thought Farrell would have been on the tour from the start – the writer of this column being one. As well as Finn Russell has been playing, and he really has, Farrell was the last of the structured senior Test 10s left in Lions rugby. With Dan Biggar and Johnny Sexton having retired it always made sense the Lions would need a proper kicking, ‘system’ 10 should some Wallaby faeces hit the fan in the Test matches.

Perhaps the weirdest part of all the moaning is its rarity as an event. It’s once every four years. It’s like seeing a solar eclipse and having a whinge because it wasn’t ‘eclipsey’ enough, or “it would have better if I could have watched it in Scotland, not England”.

If you’re nearly 50, like the writer of this column, you’ll likely live into your mid-70s. If you’ve built up a lump of rugby bile inside your gut, you could be taken down earlier. Which means you may only have five Lions tours left after this one. Try and enjoy it, it’s amazing.