The All-Conquering Barbarians Are The Rugby Heroes The World Needs

A ragtag bunch of rugby misfits, the Barbarians rolled into Wembley last weekend and held international rugby team South Africa to a 31-31 draw. That result hardly even ranks among the club’s greatest moments, writes Jamie Wall.

This week the All Blacks are licking their wounds in Rome, the Wallabies are strutting with renewed confidence around Edinburgh, and the Springboks are still in London, preparing for a huge game against England at Twickenham.

But what about the Boks’ last opponent, the team that held them to a highly entertaining 31-31 draw? Their next match has come and gone already – on Tuesday night they beat the Czech Republic 71-0, an on-field performance only outshone by the team’s live Twitter updates:

TRY! Mr 5000 @MattFaddes himself sears his way over from 60m out. Like a Samsung Note 7, he's on fire. 0-19 #rugby #rugbyunited #worldrugby

— Barbarian FC (@Barbarian_FC) November 8, 2016

That’s the way the Barbarians roll. Since being formed in 1890, Barbarian F.C. have beaten all the major test playing nations – in fact, they’ve got an overall winning record against the Springboks, Ireland, Scotland and Wales. They’ve also attempted and failed to beat Russia and Zimbabwe.

Selection to the Baabaas is by invitation only, and historically geographical convenience has meant most teams have been stacked with players from the UK. This isn’t always the case however, with the current squad seeming to have been mostly picked on strong performances in New Zealand’s Mitre 10 Cup. While they play (and often beat) the big boys, the Barbarians also make sure they spread the rugby love throughout emerging rugby nations too.

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Because of this, they’re responsible for some of the most memorable moments in international rugby. Probably the most famous try of all time was scored in the black-and-white hooped jersey, while the tradition of wearing your own club socks has been adopted by provincial sides all over the world. Here’s some of the Baabaa’s greatest moments.

1973: Barbarians 23 All Blacks 11
Yes, it has THE TRY by Gareth Edwards. But there is so much more to enjoy in this game, starting off with the Baabaa’s almost scoring a try equally as good straight afterwards, only saved by a desperate cover tackle. Throw in an All Blacks defensive plan based entirely around head-high tackles (especially on JPR Williams), 5’5″ winger Grant Batty scoring a double and easily the most woeful haka ever committed to film. Plus sideburns… so many sideburns.

2001: Barbarians 74 Scotland 31
Jonah Lomu’s most famous quartet of tries was against England in the 1995 World Cup, but it wasn’t the only time he scored four in one match. Poor Scottish winger Cameron Murray spent the whole game wishing he’d decided to play soccer as a youngster as Lomu toyed with his feeble defensive effort. It appears the Scotsman convinced his other winger to swap places with him in the second half. In all honestly, Lomu could’ve picked up about seven tries, but started getting generous and giving the ball to his teammates after he’d got his hat trick.

2009: Barbarians 25 All Blacks 18
This game might be the last time the All Blacks ever lose a non-test match, however this Baabaa’s team had enough talent to be a bona-fide ‘Best of the Rest’ XV. It was essentially the Wallaby and Springbok backlines mixed together, along with recent All Black Joe Rokocoko for good measure. Bryan Habana scorched down the field for a hat trick, making him most recent player to ever achieve that feat against the All Blacks, while a young Ben Smith and Anthony Boric scored for the visitors. However, the real winner on the day was retro fashion, with the Baabaa’s white collars pointing skyward in triumph.

2011: Barbarians 31 Wales 28
The Baabaa’s turned into the ultimate party-poopers for Wales’ 130th anniversary celebration match at Millennium Stadium, with a try to Fijian international Isa Nacewa in the dying stages snatching victory. This wasn’t even a particularly terrible Welsh team, either – they went on to make the semi-finals of the World Cup later that year. One tradition the Baabaa’s have is to include one uncapped player in their side, however there’s nothing in the rules about them being an international in another sport. Former Bulldogs, New South Wales and Kangaroos representative Willie Mason came off the bench, throwing a perfect offload to set up the winner.