'This has been one of the toughest years of my life': Nehe Milner-Skudder opens up about mental struggles throughout injury-plagued career
Former All Blacks wing Nehe Milner-Skudder has opened up about going into “dark places” in what he described as “one of the toughest years” of his life.
Speaking at the opening of New Zealand’s first Suicide Prevention Office as an ambassador for Headfirst, Milner-Skudder shared his personal experiences about the difficulties of dealing with the constant raft of injuries that have plagued him since he first burst onto the international scene four years ago.
The 28-year-old made his All Blacks debut in 2015 after barnstorming campaigns with Manawatu and the Hurricanes, and went on to play a starring role in New Zealand’s World Cup victory that year.
The Season: Hamilton Boys High School – Episode 3
Famous for his wicked sidestep, Milner-Skudder also claimed the inaugural World Rugby Breakthrough Player of the Year award, but his budding career hit a standstill in the ensuing four years as constant injuries started to take its toll on the speedster.
After scoring eight tries in his first eight tests in 2015, the Taihape native only managed five more appearances for the All Blacks between 2016 and 2018, with his last outing coming during the All Blacks’ 69-31 win over Japan in Tokyo last November.
A persistent shoulder has since thwarted his chances to taking to the field at all this year, meaning he didn’t get another opportunity to play one last time for Manawatu, the Hurricanes or the All Blacks.
“For me, personally this has been one of the toughest years in my life, my career to date,” he said on Wednesday.
“Some of you may have noticed I haven’t taken the field at all this year, to not be able to do something or to do what you love doing… I really struggled.
“Out of all the injuries I’ve suffered, the many setbacks I’ve had in my career this was by far the hardest to digest.”
https://twitter.com/RugbyPass/status/1199500053083111427
“I’d built up in my head what this year was going to look like and I watched it shatter in pieces right in front of me and there was nothing I could do about it.”
The 13-test star said despite finding way to help to deal with the issues he encountered, he “still felt myself going into some pretty dark places”.
“I started to get these negative thoughts about being judged, distancing myself from others out of fear of what they might think, how it’d be played out in the media. It all took its toll.”
“Although I’ve gone through these challenging times, I know I’m way better equipped to cope and work through them.
“I know what it feels like to get down, but I also know I am one of the few extremely lucky and privilege to have the resources to help me.”
https://www.instagram.com/p/B5KkEOfgFIh/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
Milner-Skudder said he wanted to ensure that others had access to the resources that have been available to him throughout his career.
“My rugby career has taught me we all feel pressure and anxiety and we all get down at times, it’s easy to bottle things up, I’ve seen the negative effects that can have on myself and my teammates.”
He described his role with Headfirst, an organisation which provides mental health help and wellness to rugby players, as “humbling”.
“Through this work I’ve discovered a lot about myself, and also realised things need to change around the stigma around mental health, masculinity in society and rugby. Being part of that change has been bloody important to me.”
“Many of the participants, many of my teammates have come from the most at risk demographic, young, male Maori and Pasifika.”
“It breaks me saying that.”
The inauguration of the Suicide Prevention Office, launched to help lower New Zealand’s suicide rate, went alongside a community suicide prevention fund of $12 million for Maori and Pacific people.
In other news:
Comments on RugbyPass
An on field red (aka a full red) in SRP must surely carry a bigger suspension than a red card given by the bunker as that carries a 20 minute team punishment. Had Damon Murphy abdicated his responsibility as a ref and issued both Drua players a yellow, which would have been upgraded to a 20 minute red by the bunker, that would have killed Australia and New Zealand’s push for the 20 minute red to be trialled globally from July this year.
11 Go to commentsEver so often you all post a Danny Care story that isn’t the announcement that he has finally re-signed for one more, victory tour season at Quins and I’m just like, “well you fooled me again!” My absolute favorite player ever, we need to make his final year at the Stoop (and Twickers) official already. I know he supposedly snubbed France but I won’t feel better until he signs.
1 Go to commentslate hit what late hit it wasn’t at all late and can clearly see he was committed before the tackle
1 Go to commentsChristian Lio -Willies 2 try perfomance was a standout. As was captain Scott Barrett. Up front was where the boys won it.They are a great team and players. Fantastic Crusades , you can keep going.
1 Go to commentsI don't know how the locals feel about that? I guess if you call yourselves the Worcester Wasps that might be appease. But really we need more teams in the Premiership in my view so they are not padding it out as they are at the moment. It might curtail so many players going abroad as well
5 Go to commentsNZ 😭😭😭is certainly rivaling England for best whingers cup!😭😭😭 !!!
24 Go to commentsYup. New Zealand won 3 out of 10 world cups played. SA 4 out of 8 attempts 30 Vs 50 per cent.🤔🤔
24 Go to commentsShould've done this years ago. Change Saturday kick off times to around 11am. Up and off and back home before 3pm, limit travel time too. Allows players to actually do something else with their Saturday that's family oriented or being rugby fans they could ‘watch’ pro rugby. Increases crowds etc. How can anyone that enjoys grassroots and pro rugby have to choose between the two on Saturdays?
9 Go to commentsI bet he inspired those supporters just as much.
1 Go to commentsBen Smith Springboks living rent free in his head 😊😂
67 Go to commentsGood to hear he would like to play the game at the highest level, I hadn’t been to sure how much of a motivator that was before now. Sadly he’s probably chosen the rugby club to go to. Try not to worry about all the input about how you should play rugby Joey and just try to emulate what you do on the league field and have fun. You’ll limit your game too much (well not really because he’s a standard athlete like SBW and he’ll still have enough) if you’re trying to make sure you can recycle the ball back etc. On the other hard, you can totally just try and recycle by looking to offload any and everywhere if you’re going to ground 😋
1 Go to commentsThis just proves that theres always a stat and a metric to use to justify your abilities and your success. Ben did it last week by creating an imaginary competition and now you did the same to counter his argument and espouse a new yardstick for success. Why not just use the current one and lets say the Boks have won 4 world cups making them the most successful world cup team. Outside of the world cup the All Blacks are the most successful team winning countless rugby championships and dominating the rankings with high win percentages. Over the last 4 years statistically the Irish are the best having the highest win rate and also having positive records against every tier 1 side. The most successful Northern team in the game has been England with a world cup title and the most six nations titles in history. The AB’s are the most dominant team in history with the highest win rate and 3 world cups. Lets not try to reinvent the wheel. Just be honest about the actual stats and what each team has been good at doing and that will be enough to define their level of success.
24 Go to commentsHow is 7’s played there? I’m surprised 10 or 11 man rugby hasn’t taken off. 7 just doesn’t fit the 15s dynamics (rules n field etc) but these other versions do.
9 Go to commentsPick Swinton at your peril A liability just like JWH from the Roosters Skelton ??? went missing at RWC
14 Go to commentsLike tennis, who have a ranking system, and I believe rugby too, just measure over each period preceding a world cup event who was the longest number one and that would be it. In tennis the number one player frequently is not the grand slam winner. I love and adore the All Blacks since the days of Ian Kirkpatrick when I was a kid in SA. And still do because they are the masters of running rugby and are gentleman on and off the field - in general. And in my opinion they have been the majority of the time the best rugby team in the world.
24 Go to commentsHaving overseas possessions in 2024 is absurd. These Frenchies should have to give the New Caledonians their freedom.
21 Go to commentsBell injured his foot didn’t he? Bring Tupou in he’ll deliver when it counts. Agree mostly but I would switch in the Reds number 8 Harry Wilson for Swinton and move Rob Valentini to 6 instead. Wilson is a clever player who reads the play, you can’t outmuscle the AB’s and Springboks, if you have any chance it’s by playing clever. Same goes for Paisami, he’s a little guy who doesn’t really trouble the likes of De Allende and Jordie Barrett. I’d rather play Carter Gordon at 12 and put Michael Lynagh’s boy at 10. That way you get a BMT type goalkicker at 10 and a playmaker at 12. Anyways, just my two cents as a Bok supporter.
14 Go to commentsThanks Brett, love your articles which are alway pertinent. It’s a difficult topic trying to have a panel adjudicating consistently penalties for red card issues. Many of the mitigating reasons raised are judged subjectively, hence the different outcomes. How to take away subjective opinions?
11 Go to commentsYes Sir! Surprising, just like Fraser would also have escaped sanction if he was a few inches lower, even if it was by accident that he missed! Has there really been talk about those sanctions or is this just sensational journalism? I stopped reading, so might have missed any notations.
11 Go to commentsAI is only as good as the information put in, the nuances of the sport, what you see out the corner of the eye, how you sum up in a split second the situation, yes the AI is a tool but will not help win games, more likely contribute to a loss, Rugby Players are not robots, all AI can do if offer a solution not the solution. AI will effect many sports, help train better golfers etc.
45 Go to comments