'I got to a really dark place that I didn't even know I was in': Ex-All Black Ben Atiga and former Fijian stars open up on mental health struggles
Pacific Rugby Players Welfare boss and former Samoa international Dan Leo has released the next episode in his Oceans Apart series, focusing on the mental health struggles faces by Pacific players worldwide.
After having already released episodes about former Fiji star Rupeni Caucaunibuca and Samoan cult hero Trevor Leota, Leo speaks to a raft of former internationals about their experiences with mental health issues.
The episode comes in the midst of the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic, where mental health concerns have been exacerbated as people around the globe have been forced to isolate from the outside world in a bid to combat the virus.
As highlighted in this episode, these issues are particularly prevalent for Pacific players playing professionally abroad.
Leo, who was capped 42 times by Samoa between 2005 and 2014, uses this episode to explore how mental health has impacted Pacific players from years gone by.
One-cap All Blacks utility back Ben Atiga, former Fiji captain Netani Talei, ex-Fiji hooker Sunia Koto and 2016 Olympic champion Fiji sevens coach Ben Ryan all speak of their experiences with mental health and what can be done to help alleviate the stigma it is often associated with.
Talei explained that the “alpha male” role that Pacific men strive towards and a reluctance to be a burden on others often restricts their ability to ask for help when it’s needed.
Koto suggested that becomes even more difficult for Pacific players when they are thrust into a professional rugby environment overseas.
“In the Islands, we are a community-based people, and you are being thrown into an ‘every man for himself’ environment,” the former 59-test front rower told Leo.
“We get a shock. We’re not going to the neighbours house and say ‘Can you help me?'”
Atiga, who made his international debut at the 2003 World Cup, revealed he retired from the game at the age of 25 after struggling to cope with the pressures associated with being an All Black.
“I got to a really dark place that I didn’t even know I was in,” the 36-year-old recalled.
“I went to a place where I was doing some really bad things. I was way overweight, about 120kg from paying at 98kg the season before.
“But I woke up and didn’t think anything was wrong. I didn’t even think to go back and play for a long time.
“I had this thought in my head that I’ll go back eventually, I will go back, and when I look back on it now, I didn’t even notice but I was only 25.”
Pacific Rugby Players Welfare is a not-for-profit organisation that works with over 400 Pacific Island rugby players worldwide, providing them the support, advice & skills they need to thrive, both during and after their rugby careers.
Players, clubs and agents are encouraged to get in contact with the organisation if anyone is in need of support during this challenging time by visiting www.pacificrugbywelfare.com.
Furthermore, if anyone is able to contribute financially to PRPW’s support network, they can do so by clicking the link here.
Comments on RugbyPass
A wallaby front-row of Bell, Blake and Tupou…now that would be hefty
1 Go to comments“But with an exceptional pass accuracy rating “ Which apart from Roigard is not a feature of any of the other 9s in NZ. Kind of basic for a Black 9 dont.you. think? Yet we keep seeing FC and TJ being rated ahead of him? Weird if it’s seen as vital to get our backline beating in your face defences.
1 Go to commentsThanks BeeMc! Looks like many teams need extra time to settle from the quadrennial northern migration. I think generally the quality of the Rugby has held up. Fiji has been fantastic and fun to watch
13 Go to commentsLets compare apples with apples. Lyon sent weak team the week before, but nobody raised an eyebrow. Give the South African teams a few years to build their depth, then you will be moaning that the teams are too strong.
41 Go to commentsDid footballs agents also perform the scout role at some time? I’m surprised more high profile players haven’t taken up the occupation, great way to remain in the game and use all that experience without really requiring a lot of specific expertise?
1 Go to commentsSuper rugby is struggling but that has little to do with sabbaticals. 1. Too many teams from Aust and NZ - should be 3 and 4 respectively, add in 2 from Japan, 1 possibly 2 from Argentina. 2. Inconsistent and poor refereeing, admittedly not restricted to Super rugby. Only one team was reffed at the breakdown in Reds v H’Landers match. Scrum penalty awarded in Canes v Drua when No 8 had the ball in the open with little defence nearby - ideal opportunity to play advantage. Coming back to Reds match - same scrum situation but ref played advantage - Landers made 10 yards and were penalised at the breakdown when the ref should have returned to scrum penalty. 3. Marketing is weak and losing ground to AFL and NRL. Playing 2 days compared with 4. 4. Scheduling is unattractive to family attendance. Have any franchises heard of Sundays 2pm?
11 Go to commentsAbsolutely..all they need is a chance in yhe playoffs and I bet all the other teams will be nervous…THEY KNOW HOW TO WIN IM THE PLAYOFFS..
2 Go to commentsI really hope he comes back and helps out with some coaching.
1 Go to commentsI think we are all just hoping that the Olympic 7s doesn’t suffer the same sad fate as the last RWC with the officials ruining the spectacle.
1 Go to commentsPersonally, I’ve lost the will to even be bothered about the RFU, the structure, the participants. It’s all a sham. I now simply enjoy getting a group of friends together to go and watch a few games a year in different locations (including Europe, the championship, etc). I feel extremely sorry for the real fans of these clubs who are constantly ignored by the RFU and other administrators. I feel especially sorry for the fans of clubs in the Championship who have had considerable central funding stripped away and are then expected to just take whatever the RFU put to them. Its all a sham, especially if the failed clubs are allowed to return.
10 Go to commentsI’m guessing Carl Hayman would have preferred to have stayed in NZ with benefit of hindsight. Up north there is the expectation to play twice as many games with far less ‘player management’ protocols that Paul is now criticising. Less playing through concussions means longer, healthier, careers. Carter used as the eg here by Paul, his sabbatical allowed him to play until age 37. OK its not an exact science but there is far more expectations on players who sign for Top 14 or Engl Prem clubs to get value for the huge salaries. NZR get alot wrong but keeping their best players in NZ rugby is not one of them. SA clubs are virtually devoid of their top players now, no thanks. They cant threaten the big teams in the Champions Cup, the squads have little depth. Cant see Canes/Chiefs struggling. Super has been great this year, fantastic high skill matches. Drua a fantastic addition and Jaguares will add another quality team eventually. Aus teams performing strongly and no doubt will benefit with the incentive of a Lions tour and a home RWC. Let Jordie enjoy his time with Leinster, it will allow the opportunity for another player to emerge at Canes in his absence.
11 Go to commentsLove that man, his way to despise angry little men is so funny ! 😂
4 Go to comments“South African franchises would be powerhouses if we had all our overseas based players back in situ. We would have the same unbeatable aura the Toulouses, Leinsters or Saracens of this world have had over the last decade or so.” Proof that Jake white does not understand the economics of the game in SA. Players earning abroad are not going to simply come back and represent the bulls. But they might if they have a springbok contract.
24 Go to commentsA lot of fans just joined in for the fun of it! We all admire O'Gara and what he has done for La Rochelle
4 Go to commentsThe RFU will find a way to mess this up as usual. My bet is there will be no promotion into the the Premiership, only relegation into National League One. Hopefully they won’t parachute failed clubs into the league at the expense of clubs who have battled for promotion.
10 Go to commentsWell that’s the contracts for RG and Jordie bought and paid for. Now, what are the chances we can persuade Antoine to hop over with all the extra dosh we’ll have from living at the Aviva & Croke next season…??? 🤑🤑🤑
35 Go to commentsWow, that’s incredible. Great for rugby.
35 Go to commentsYou probably read that parling is going to coach the wallaby lineout but if not before now you have.
17 Go to commentsIf someone like Leo Cullen was in O’Gara’s place I don’t hear Boo-ing. It’s not just that La Rochelle has hurt Leinster and O’Gara is their Irish boss. It’s the needle that he brings and the pantomime activity before the game around pretending that Munster were supporting LaRochelle just because O’Gara is from Cork. That’s dividing Irish provinces just to get an advantage for his French Team. He can F*ck right off with that. BOOOOO! (but not while someone is lying injured)
4 Go to commentsDid the highlanders party too hard before the game? They were the pits.
1 Go to comments